Archive for the ‘No Boutros Boutros… Ghali’ Category

Nowhere To Go But Up…

Monday, February 15th, 2010

all star 2010

The crown jewel of the Association’s All-Star weekend isn’t the Sprite dunk contest, or the 3-pt shootout, or even that massively retarded skills competition. The crown jewel is the game filled with the best players in the world. Unlike the MLB’s All Star game which features the best baseball players in America and not the world, and the NFL’s All-Pro game which features the best players that opted to play in the game, the NBA All-Star game sports the BEST athletes in their sport.

I appreciated DWAYNE WADE and LeBRON JAMES full court games. They passed, played great defense and played above the rim. It was a shame that the game was boiling down to free throws and a last second heave by CARMELO ANTHONY to finally decide what was a spectacular showcase from some of the league’s best backcourt players. There were great perfomances from forwards like JAMES, ANTHONY, CHRIS BOSH, DIRK NOWITZKI and KEVIN DURANT, but the game was in the hands of the guards and DWAYNE WADE and Utah’s DERON WILLIAMS didn’t disappoint me.

The Association’s partnership with Cowboy’s owner Jerry Jones for their gala weekend was a bit annoying to me but I also imagined how desperate Jerry Jones must have been to put some bodies into his multi-billion dollar Texas taxpayer albatross seeing as to how the Cowboy’s had their postseason dreams cut short. Playing an exhibition game under a ginormous steel cave must have seemed like a good idea to someone in the league office. In my opinion tho’, less is more when cagers are concerned. Let the futbol games be played in front of 100K people. The B-ball games need a more intimate gathering [ll].

Where’s the game going down next year? I’ma see if we can get Dontrevius Wenters a ticket to All-Star weekend…

DP MetroCard Madness…

Saturday, February 13th, 2010

mta

I’m about to GO IN partypeople.

I’m about to stretch an unlimited Metrocard to the limits. The MetroCard allows access to MTA buses and subways and this includes the Long Island bus routes as well as the Bee Line bus routes in lower WestChester.

The second part of this mission of madness was inspired by A.J. Wright’s ‘Final Clearance’ sale which is granting 50% off items that bear a yellow clearance ticket. I just bought four (4) Air Jordan warm up jackets for $5 apiece. I gave one to Premium Pete, one is being to shipped to SlumBeezy for his DP.comtributions and I still have two(2) to fux around with.

Today’s mission finds me on the hunt for those bombproof Timbs. They were on yellow tag clearance for $21 so if I find a pair in the size I want they will be $10.50 and that is making me in-FUXING-sane. The idea of coming up on armageddon-proof Timberland boots for less than the price of a movie ticket has inspired me to undertake this journey.

The first leg will find me on the N4 Long Island bus starting from the Freeport hub.

The N4 will leave me in Jamaica, Queens at the E train station Parsons/Archer Aves.

The E train will transfer me to the R train at Queens Plaza then one (1) stop to Lexington/59th St #5 transfer.

Uptown #5 trian to last stop in the Bronx – Dyre Ave and then to eastbound Bx16 bus to Pelham Manor

Pelham Manor A.J. Wright location

Bx16 westbound to Major Deegan Expressway and transfer to BeeLine bus #20 or #21 going north into Yonkers.

Yonkers/Cross County A.J. Wright location

I bet the trip across the Bronx and up to Yonkers will be as long as the trip was just to get to the Bronx.

I may not even copp anything, but the trip will be so fuxing epic.

Or I could just stay home…

mta

Olympics = Zenith Of Ghey Sports…

Saturday, February 13th, 2010

luge

If they play your sport at the Olympics I will lay odds to rods [ll] that sport is ghey as fux. Some sports are inherently gheyer than most because they involve the competitors actually nestling within the genitals of their mates [ll].

Look at the double luge. Is luge some kind of Germanic word for having sex with another man’s ass? That is surely what that shit looks like. One guy steers the sled while the other guy tries to put his dick in the first guy’s butt [ll].

If the real meaning of luge isn’t that you are fuxed then the United States Olympic Committee, or whoever it is that gives away those gold medals needs to change the name to appropriately describe what you are when you come unglued from your sled while traveling at 100mph.

I think you are fuxed, but that’s just me.

I’m not all mathy-math boy, but I have a damn good imagination and I can imagine what the centrifgual force was as this dude’s sled whipped around each subsequent corner. You just hope your skin holds together somewhat and your skull isn’t cracked open like a cantaloupe splattering all of your sanguine brain meat.

Doing what amounts to cardio shit while wearing spandex, singlets, tightpants or even shorts is ghey. Doing that shit for NO money except for possibly a medal is super ghey. Dying during a practice run for your amateur sport makes you the patron saint of homosexuals. Practice?!? This would have never happened to Allen Iverson.

God please rest NODAR KUMARITASHVILI’s soul in ghey sports heaven.

luge

SNEAKER FIENDS UNITE!

Friday, February 12th, 2010

spiz'ike

I don’t go in for all the Air Jordan hype. That is to say that I don’t camp outside of Foot Locker for any of the special hypebeast quickstrike colorways of various retro Air Jordan releases. My complaint with the Air Jordan shoe is that it has become a staple for those sneaker fiends who lack the ability to put together an ensemble. White tees, Levis and the latest Jordans is their idea of going in.

I started to warm up to the Jordan Brand again when they first dropped the DubZero. I copped the OG DubZeros but then they went crazy with the releases so I backed off. I fux with the 6-Rings model also, slightly. I DO NOT fux with Fusions (Air Jordan x Air Force 1) whatsoever. The Jordan Brand shoe that has been a home run every time out is the Spiz’ike. The shoe is a hybrid of five different Air Jordan releases taking the flyest, iconic elements from each one.

The tongue from the VI’s, the lateral straps from the IVs, the embedded mesh upper from the Vs, the lacestays from the IIIs and the inner lining of the XXs. Plus, the colorways of the Spiz’ikes have been the freshest attraction for me. This latest pair which is part of the Mars Blackmon Fresh Since ’85 pack. I need these joints badly. Peep the little details of cement on the lateral straps. I fux with that lace toggle hardbody. As soon as I get my fux’n check from my side gig I am going in.

I gotta tell my dude Premium Pete to save a size 12 for the kid.

spiz'ike
spiz'ike
spiz'ike

Don’t Commit Sadecide…

Friday, February 12th, 2010

sade

Don’t one yourself after listening to the smooth stylings of rap music’s favorite British chanteuse. We call that Sadecide. #iHipHop