Archive for the ‘No Boutros Boutros… Ghali’ Category

Jets’ Defense Is All Gas’d Up….

Thursday, January 14th, 2010

gas

^ Put THIS Mark in the Hall Of Fame!

The New York Jets head coach REX RYAN is the most refreshing postgame interview since Dennis Green was a head coach. The Jets are going to have to show up bigtime for their contest against the San Diego Chargers this weekend. If they get merc’ked by the white hot Chargers Rex Ryan will look like a fool.

I was wondering if the Jets had called in one of their former defensive stars to give the team a pregame pep talk. Mark Gastineau was one of the most exciting and enigmatic characters to ever play professional football. That was saying a lot too considering the fact that there was another special player on the other side of the Hudson River in Lawrence Taylor.

Gastineau played alongside several great players on the Jets defensive line, namely Hall Of Fame defensive tackle Joe Klecko. This allowed Gastineau to excel at pass rushing from the end position [ll]. What drove everyone crazy about Mark Gastineau was the excessive celebration that he performed whenever he tackled a quarterback or running back behind the line of scrimmage.

Mark Gastineau had this routine called a ‘Sack Dance’ and it was just some frenetic, random celebration that had no rhyme or reason. The Gastineau celebration was at its most ridiculous on third and long plays when the opposing offense would be forced to punt the ball afterwards. The NFL had to sack his dance after a melee erupted when Gastineau performed his dance after beating HOF tackle Jackie Slater.

I think Gastineau would be a great motivational speaker to this Jets team to remind them that the future is now and to play every down with reckless abandon. And a big goofy smile.

Rest In Pendergrass…

Thursday, January 14th, 2010

teddy p

Serious. Sensual. Soulful.

If you were born in the late seventies – early eighties this would be your parent’s soundtrack. If you play this music for someone and you don’t get any action you might be trying to fux a robot.

Eddie Murphy had a great line about how Teddy Pendergrass deep bass voice would scare the panties off a woman. All the falsetto voices and autotune in the current crop of R & B artists reminds me of what we are missing in the game with the passing of Teddy Pendergrass.


‘Come Go With Me’


‘Turn Out The Lights’


‘Love TKO’

As the lead singer for Harold Melvin and the Blue Notes Teddy Pendergrass had the power to make emotional songs that were also empowering. This song was an anthem for me and for the possibility of what my life could be. Thanks TP.

‘Wake Up Everybody’

SEPARATED @ BIRTH: Boy Meets Girl…

Thursday, January 14th, 2010

vanity

“This broad look like Rich Boy” -SlumBLC

Damn you Slum! Oh well, I guess I just need to throw some D’s on that bitch.

Even The Kid Sipped The Juice…

Tuesday, January 12th, 2010

the kid

Let me state this clearly for anyone reading this drop…

Ken Griffey Jr. is my favorite all-time player. He was my generation’s G.O.A.T. Honestly, Barry Bonds was my generation’s G.O.A.T., but I could never get close to Bonds. He played in the National League throughout his whole career and I could never get Bonds to sign shit for me. Back in the days I used to troll the press gate at the OG Shea Stadium because that is where the visiting team would enter the ballpark. Even before Barry Bonds had become the single season home run champ he was hard to touch.

I don’t favor Griffey Jr. over Bonds because I couldn’t get Bonds to autograph some shit for me. I fuxed with Griffey because his style was so much fresher than anyone else in the game. His swing was so gorgeous and elliptical. Most big hitters yanked the baseball after making contact with it while Griffey Jr. just seemed to let the ball go in any direction but always on a line. The only thing better than watching Griffey bat was watching him play centerfield. He made some of the most incredible catches I had ever seen. As a routine…

Now here comes the tough part. I think that Griffey Jr. tried to use steroids but his body rejected them and this is what caused his debilitating injuries. I feel like Griffey learned about steroids while with the Mariners. There are several Mariners players I’m sure were users who prA’li influenced Griffey.

juicers

Bret Boone, Jay Buhner, Edgar Martinez and Vince Coleman are all players I suspect of using HGH or steroids during their playing careers. They were all lean players who ballooned into bulky hulks during the 1990s. I don’t want this to become a scary witchhunt for which players may have used steroids in the days before baseball had outlawed these drugs and treatments. These players also knew of the risks that were inherent in receiving these treatments but just like the NFL stands for ‘Not For Long’ and those players willingly accept the negative side effects of steroids so did the baseball players.

The potential from steroids was something that trumped jaundice, prostate cancer and even bone density decomposition. The potential from steroids use appeared to be immortality. A chance at the Hall of Fame is what allows players to retire comfortably. For fifteen years that the the top tier pros remain in their sport some have twice that amount of time selling their signatures as Hall of Fame players. I love baseball and I don’t hold a grudge against any of these players for sipping the ambrosia of immortality. Maybe Barry Bonds will let me get his autograph one of these days.

the kid

For The Love Of Money…

Tuesday, January 12th, 2010

mcgwire

Mark McGwire finally confessed to using steroids, but NOT human growth hormones. Who the fux really cares? EVERYONE that was anyone was doping in bigtime sports for at least the past twenty years. How else does a top level Olympiad champion like Florence Griffith Joyner have a heart attack in her 40’s? Or another pro baseball slugger, Ken Caminiti, also suffer from a heart attack only a few years after retirement. The truth is that most sports fans don’t give a shit whether their team’s top player uses steroids or cocaine or Advil-coated Tic Tacs. We just want our favorite teams to win.

McGwire’s confession doesn’t make him any more or less courageous than when he was an active player. He did it for the glory and the money. McGwire’s about to return to the game as a coach and he doesn’t want the spectre of his past to slow down his money machine. I don’t fault McGwire for getting his paper right. He’s got his weedcarrier Tony LaRussa maintaining the story that the Athletics and the Cardinals lockerrooms were all clean spaces. That’s a crock and Albert Pujols is now a steroid suspect in my book. The real crooks however are still the MLB owners.

The MLB owners made money hand over fist for the last twenty years from cable tv contracts, merchandising and licensing and of course ticjets sold at their ballparks. The owners pushed the players to destroy their bodies, but we still don’t discuss this on a mainstream level, only in the blogs is this idea even broached. If the owners were as contrite as they want the players to appear maybe they would give back some of the billions that they made over the last ten years. When it comes to sharing their money the MLB owners have nothing but love for the fans.

Nothing but love.

mcgwire