The missing link for human evolution has been uncovered in Europe. The key factor for mammal development was our ability to bring the ocean on land with us. That and the talent to retain a heating plant inside of our bodies.
The animal credited with being the ‘missing link’ looks something like a crocodile dog. I’m hoping that science will allow us to recreate these animals so that we can study them further, and make them fight in an arena ‘Thunderdome’ stylee.
MICHAEL VICK could emcee the contests. Fuck the football. Croc Dog battles is the future from the past.
For several years this weblog has existed I have tried to explain that the essence of rap could be described by using a mathematical formula. Rap is a hyper-evolved level of communication using music, melody and mnemonic devices. This is why it is loved all across the globe. The greatest achievement of the human species is our ability to communicate on the highest level with speech. If we only had body movements and yelling we would have never have invented Twitter.
I think that the highest level of rap artistry is contained in the artists that frequently use polysyllabic words. The complex compound words can contain several meaning all at once based on the root of the word and the context it is delivered. The artist commonly considered to be the best rapper of all time was the master of injecting his rhyme speech with polysyllabic words. These phrases bent and stretched his rhymes well past the verse they were spoken in and put them into the stratosphere as some of the most used quotes spoken in the Hip-Hop culture.
The most important word to an emcee is polysyllabic – microphone.
‘Nuff said.
Eminem’s latest album ‘Relapse’ is fantastic for it’s graphic gory content. This album is part of the great history of epic entertaining horror-core productions. This album is rap’s ‘Nightmare On Elm Street’. It is horrific, disgusting, profane, satirical and brilliant all at the same time. Lyrically, I consider this to be on a classic level. If the beats by Dr. Dre were swapped out for some of the dark production of DOOM, or more appropriately RZA, this album would be a certified classic. This drop though is to discuss the lyrical eminence of Eminem. A reader stated that this album was garbage. I don’t believe that reader listened to this album or if he did his ability to judge art is negligible.
This album is the VAN GOGH of rap music. The fact that Eminem even referred to himself as VAN G adds to his lyrical prowess. The heartbroken madman who has gleefully crossed the line into insanity is vividly painted in story format as well as open form rap braggadocio. I asked the reader to offer an album that contained better lyrics than ‘Relapse’. His offering was Lil’ Wayne’s ‘The Carter II’. That should already tip you off to the fact that this reader is a da-dunn da-dunt. Lil’ Wayne’s ‘The Carter II’ is actually Wayne’s best album. As I scanned over the album looking for a track to do a cross-reference comparison to I looked for songs that had similar lengths to the unusually long tracks posted on ‘Relapse’. I decided to use the track ghost-written by Juelz Santana called Tha’ Mobb.
As a repayment for Santana’s skills on this song I believe Wayne introduced Juelz to syrup.
Wayne uses 853 words in this song. Thirty(30) are polysyllabic. The longest being promethezine clocking in a strong twelve(12) letters. The key number in all of these stats though is the percentage of polysyllabic words to the entire composition. Wayne’s final numbers were 3.5169/1000. That is the percantage of polysyllabic words his verses would contain per 1000 words. Big Daddy Kane averages about the same. Kane is loved and feared, but no one, not even Kane himself, calls him the greatest rapper alive. Hyperbole lives and his name is Lil’ Wayne.
The Eminem song I used is the comically violent 3am. This song had the same run time as Lil’ Wayne’s Tha’ Mobb (5mins 21sec). Eminem uses only 769 total words but forty-eight(48) of them are the 3+ syllable variety. The longest polysyllabic word in this murderous rap rampage was the thirteen(13) letter hallucinogens. Eminem was obviously on something extra to have the mind to craft this masterpiece. The average percentage of polysyllabic words per 1000 for Eminem is 6.2418 and approaching twice that of Lil’ Wayne. My point in all of this is to illustrate that the Relapse album is far from garbage no matter how you look at rap music. It merits your highest consideration for the lyrical content contained therein. And at the end of the day, instead of flow and swagger, shouldn’t lyrics matter most in RAP music?
BTW, Rakim Allah’s percentage on ‘Microphone Fiend’ was 7.272 and this is why we call him the G.O.A.T.
Additional background reading for those of you just tuning in to Dallas Penn…
As the Association playoffs bounce towards the conference finals the chaff is separated from the wheat. It is the end of the weak. Literally, and figuratively.
I like the fact that Boston will return to the Eastern Conference Finals because the champions should be shot in the head, as opposed to shooting themselves. There is nothing worse than a suicide on this level of competition.
No fucking finger rolls.
No fucking CHARLES SMITH layups!
The Celtics can take a game from the Cavaliers, but not two.
The bigger question is whether Denver can use the strength of CHAUNCEY BILLUPS and the desire of CARMELO ANTHONY to shut down Darth KOBE? BILLUPS turned KOBE into a bitchmade crybaby during the Detroit vs. L.A. finals a few years ago. That was a long time ago though and BILLUPS is older and KOBE is smarter and harder to kill. The Western Conference Finals will be going the full monty. I see the Lakers breaking through the seventh seal. BOBBITO GARCIA might take exception to that.
I can’t think of a more vapid, devoid of romance song than this Jagged Edge remix featuring Run-DMC. This is the kind of jam that two people in their fifties might sing to each other after leaving the liquor store with a fifth of the sponsor(E & J Brandy) in the plastic bottle. The song sure is catchy though…
Thank goodness my folks didn’t play that song once during their reception this weekend. My good friend, DJ Dr.Phillgoode made an honest woman of Dr. Tanya. Believe it or not, but one of them is really a doctor. The ceremony was held at the incredible Bedford Stuyvesant landmark Akwaaba Mansion.
I was running late for the festivities because I didn’t arrange my outfit until the last minute. It turned out that everything I wanted to wear is still at the dry cleaners. The dry cleaners is the OG storage for poor folks like myself. I hope my shit is still there when I go to pick it up this week.
I ended up in a corduroy suit looking like a dude who needed some February in his life. As always I had the lifestyle all over my body. I love my collection of bear ties. I have these in four different colors. I decided to pull out some classic cookie boot mocassins. There wasn’t too much dancing at this wedding so I was spared the sight of me having myself soaked through. I can’t wait for the winter to come back around so I can wear this outfit again.
I saw Star Trek 2009 with Chocolate Snowflake last night. The movie was excellent Hollywood fanfare deserving of the hype and praise being lavished upon it. I’ve decided to rename the flick ‘U.S.S. Enterprise: Origins’ since that is essentially what the story acts as. J.J. ABRAMS did a masterful job of incorporating the favorite fanboy elements with a new flavor for the folks that might not have been too familiar with the classic O.G. television program.
Combat Jack has a review posted on his site that I thoroughly co-sign so I won’t waste your time by duplicating tasks. Instead I will use what is left of my fried green tomato brain cells to discuss some of the upcoming blockbuster films being released in the next few weeks.
The Terminator franchise gets back to fighting off the techno dystopia with Batman’s CHRISTIAN BALE cast as the always under duress John Connor.
While the Transformer franchise is sure to have the most explosions of any film this summer with their Rise of the Fallen sequel (this flick is my 4-star sleeper, but I’m also admittedly biased)
Land Of The Lost starring WILL FERRELL looks to have some laughs for the whole family. DANNY McBRIDE along for the ride can’t hurt this film.
Night At The Museum brings back the original cast for more faux-historical hijinks. I think I will pass on this one since Blacks are always omitted from the historical context. Pasty skinned Egyptians? Stiller please?!?
I won’t see Harry Potter because that shit is gheyer than a bag of dildos at the bus terminal bathroom.
G.I. Joe will challenge the Transformers sequel for explosions in a feature film. The CGI for this is looking reee-derky. I have to see this film but it might end up being a PU~.
I’m considering the remake of ‘Taking Of Pelham 1,2,3’ because I like the work that DENZEL and TRAVOLTA have produced over the course of their careers. I have to wait for C.S. to have the OG movie NetFlix’d to her crib for a preview screening.
Now in the meantime and in between time I will try to cook up something retarded from my filmmaking adventuers…
Which one of these pics says that I have truly lost my mind? I’m digging the last one.
