Archive for the ‘No Boutros Boutros… Ghali’ Category

Balling Out With The NBA’s Elite…

Friday, June 25th, 2010

nba elite

The big homie DUK-KI from MajorDC hollered at me last week to ask if I would be in town to fux with the launch of EA Sports franchise NBA video game Elite 11. There would be a few players to chop it up with as well as musicians and assorted industry folks. I was like “Hells Chea!” Even tho’ I’m not a gamer I realize that gamers and myself are both cut from the same cloth.

That material would be called fanboyhood. Google it.

TERRENCE is the major hoopshead and he had the backstory on all the players in the party. We shot some footage with me acting as Dontrevius Wenters since it was NBA Draft Week and John Wall and DeMarcus Cousins were in the building. The real athletes had a hard time believing that Dontrevius expected to be drafted as well. Dontrevius told them that age and weight were only numbers and since he was high in both of those categories shouldn’t his points per game follow suit?

Sometimes players just don’t understand.

A big shout out goes to rapper J.Cole who said the word ‘Internets’ like he meant it. Sean Price is the ONLY other rapper that recognizes that we are all interconnected networks. Somebody send me some J.Cole music like yesterday so I can get familiar with this young gunner. When I told Brandon Jennings that J.Cole might join the league as well he rolled his eyes. Why do athletes want to be musicians, but they won’t allow us to be great in other shit like their sport?

All the players were pretty nice with their stick game too [ll]. I’m talking about the game controls for Electronic Arts latest version of NBA Live they have renamed NBA Elite. I hope the Madden Curse doesn’t follow these players as well since my homie KEVIN DURANT is the dude on the cover of NBA Elite ’11. Me and K.D. kicked it for a few and I told him about my predictions that he would be the greatest player of all time.

I also gave him props for arranging his signature sneaker to have such a reasonable pricepoint. I made him laugh when I told him that he pwned Amare Stoudemire so much this season that Amare started wearing K.D.’s signature shoe in the playoffs instead of his own. Good times. That video will surface sooner or later. In the meantime and in between time take a peek at the LeBron and Durant characters movements on NBA Elite ’11.

The ball handling [ll] and shooting is so ridiculous and effortless from the controllers. Whatever happened to the joystick and orange button of the Atari 2600? I kicked it with some of the developers and programmers of the new game and they aren’t finished getting the bugs out yet either. That’s why the event was also filled with gamers who could give their feedback directly to the techs. I was amazed at how much development Electronic Arts puts into their games. EA might be in the business of making videogames, but these dudes aren’t playing around.

EA Sports… It’s definitely in the game.

Draft Daze: The Legend of Dontrevius Wenters…

Thursday, June 24th, 2010

the Dream

The dream of playing in the Association will become closer to a reality for a select few gifted athletes starting with the NBA draft tonight. For some other players, and people, and one non-athlete in particular it shall remain a dream. That person’s name is Dontrevius Wenters.

TERRENCE ELENTENY created Draft Daze specifically for the NBA draft. He asked me on the project to play the role of the central character and to add some writing to the project. I think that under the time constraints of all the people involved TERRENCE nailed this joint.

If you haven’t watched Draft Daze in it’s entirety please do so.

And don’t stop dreaming…


Generally Speaking, Totally Out Of Pocket…

Thursday, June 24th, 2010

mchrystal

^ Unfortunately for Gen. McChrystal its too late for the buttoned lip strategy…

Some military leaders are totally the movie. They are uncomfortable around people who don’t wear their uniform. I used to think it was because there was some ghey oath they all take. You know, ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’? That may be only part of the reason. The main reason is that these people are generally anti-social pricks. I mean, if your business model is essentially to kill, maim and capitalize people’s lives you’re clock is off a few clicks. I suppose the world turns with everyone having their own personal moral compass for direction and mental clock to let them know what time it really is.

Maybe that is the real reason that U.S. General Stanley McChrystal spazzed out at length in front of a Rolling Stone reporter about the administration in D.C., the war in Afghanistan, and just everything in general. Life is far too short to remain as wound up as he was and not have some epic calamitous spin out. Speaking of the war in Afghanistan… It sux. Thank God for British Petroleum’s Gulf debacle of the microscope would have been deeper into the ass of the failed strategy in Afghanistan. Recently the Pentagon informed us that there was trillions of dollars of mineral resources in Afghan soil. And they weren’t even talking about heroin.

The President relieves General McChrystal of his post in Afghanistan. The general can now return to his wife of 33 years and take her on dates to White Castke or Jack In The Box or wherever rich people go to appear normal. In the meantime and in between time more American lives are being committed to the mountains of Kabul and Khandahar with no end in sight. Maybe that will be the subject of the general’s upcoming speaking engagements alongside Sarah Palin no doubt.

Going ‘rogue’ is the new Black.

The Runaway General

WIG OWNERS > WIG BRUSHERS:The Kobe Report…

Saturday, June 19th, 2010

wigcats

I’m not a Kobe stan by any stretch of the imagination, but I will tell you this…

KOBE > LeBRON

Okay, my bad. That was stannish. Slightly lightly. Riddle me this tho’ hoopsheads…

Kobe > Jordan?

In a few more years some of you may have to admit that Kobe Bryant was better than Michael Jordan.

The above statement looks like multi-tiered blasphemy today, but I’m asking some of you to consider a future where Kobe Bryant has won more than six championships and scored more points, and given more assists, and won more big games.

It will be ever so close tho’ and decided by percentage points. I don’t know math too tough so I’ma have to take out my crayons and the what not. Let’s use what we got to see what we see true believers. -(c)Stan Lee x George Clinton

Kobe is becoming the Showbee we always knew he could be.

However, Michael Jordan remains the generational standard bearer because you can’t count anyone who played in the tight pants era(Russell, Chamberlain, Magic, Bird). Kobe would have been just like Jerry West if he played in that era, but Kobe is in the Long Shorts era. In the Long Shorts era the team game is supplanted by the megastar. His journey has to be spectacularly singular. That’s what the marketing division said.

Jordan was able to develop the ego to fit the Stern School of Athletic Business model. Kobe doesn’t have the ego to match Michael Jordan’s. Kobe walks alone off the court, but plays the team game when on it. Jordan takes a greater percentage of his team’s shots and then buys everyone beer and hoo ers after the game. I could go and on with anecdotal facts about both players but I know why you fux with DP.com anyhoo.

The pictures and graphical shit.

Just know that one of these days you gonna have to give Kobe some of Jordan’s wigs.

kobe

G.O.A.T. Longshortsmen Graphical Shit

fg

Jordan edges Kobe FG percentagewise and also takes more shots per minutes of playing time. Jordan is the one who ISN’T passing the ball.

3pt fg

For the average of 3-pointers attempted per minute of playing time Kobe goes in from deep [ll] more than Jordan does. Kobe is slightly more accurate also.

ft

Kobe better FT shooter and averages more attempts per game.

misc

Push on the rebounds. Kobe on the assists. Jordan edges on the steals. Push on the blocks.

ad men

Jordan is a better corporate chump.

dbaggery

Jordan is also a major D-bag. I’ma let Chamillionaire tell it.

prspin

Kobe has better advisors. Michael loses a record amount to alimony and he wears a nazi moustache.

analover

Kobe likes to stuff it in the poophoop [ll].

glsoat

At the end of the day who cares about these assholes?

I’ve got a fux’n headache.

SNEAKER FIENDS UNITE!

Saturday, June 19th, 2010

globetrotters

One of my favorite basketball teams of all-time is the Harlem Globetrotters. Don’t laugh out loud when I tell you that I thought they were actually a REAL team, too good to play in the league with the other teams because they always won.

The truth about the Globetrotters is that they were actually a professional team in their beginnings during a time in America when Black athletes had to exist within the separate and unequal parameters of this country’s fringe. Just like baseball’s Negro League barnstormers would have exhibitions against players from the majors, the Globetrotters would match up against NBA teams like the great Minneapolis Lakers and they would triumph more often than not.

Team owners and league officials realized that Black athletes were the perfect exotic draw to their flagging businesses so as white professional leagues pushed towards integration it meant that the pro teams and clubs that weren’t within their jurisdiction would end up going out of business. Not so much for the Harlem Globetrotters who incorporated entertainment elements within their athletic exhibitions. They mixed their basketball skills with a touch of Vaudeville.

globetrotters
globetrotters

Nike’s putting out some Dunk Lo’s for kids this summer they are calling the ‘Independence Day’. If I had a kid I would copp these kicks for him or her as a testament to the independent spirit of Abe Saperstein and all of the Harlem Globetrotters past and present.

As a kid I never knew the backstory of this team and what it meant to my dad to watch them play. I just thought they were good. And funny. And what else does a child need but to be happy? The realities of the world will find him soon enough.

globetrotters