Archive for the ‘No Boutros Boutros… Ghali’ Category

A Rider For A Writer…

Wednesday, June 2nd, 2010

sw

I always liked writing and shit, but I never considered this as a profession until SoundWave went to prison. In the over eleven years that he spent on lock down I never went to see my dude. I don’t like prisons, or hospitals for that matter. I always felt a kind of way about going to see people in jail because I didn’t want to end up behind bars with my homey. I imagined that the warden would be like, “Thanks for doing the legwork for me and bringing yourself in.” Is that ridiculous of me and cowardly? Hells yeah.

I kept in touch with SoundWave by writing him often and talking shit with him in the same way we did when he was home. I gave him the updates on the ‘hood and the encouragement that we were still on our journey to being millionaires. The funny shit that happened when SW was in prison is that a million dollars lost it’s value. SW, ThunderCracker, PoloTron and I were the get rich clique. We had dozens of capers between us but we were still looking for that big score. We never got it as a crew, but the fun was in trying.

I remember this botched bank drop job that Polo set up with the old butcher shop where he used to work. This job was going down on Jamaica Avenue in broad daylight two blocks from the police precinct. SW convinced us that it was doable with the thinking that a crime near a police station was safe since all the police were somewhere else. This was SW’s super power. Dude had a steely confidence, he could sell the tone to the phone. SW was just one of those smart-dumb niggas who had book knowledge and street knowledge and could interchange the two fluidly.

sw

And yes, he was a bit of a lunatic, but not in the sense that I was. His lunacy was tempered with logic. When we used to run around acting stupid and kicking up dust SW was the dude that always kept an eye out for the emergency exit just in case we couldn’t get out of something the way we came in. Fam was definitely a rider though. He had no business riding with me to Baltimore in a stolen car just to visit my girlfriend at Morgan State for her school’s homecoming celebration. I think that part of the reason he went with me was because he bailed out when I drove to D.C. a week earlier in the car he and I stole from Greenwich Village. SoundWave wasn’t gonna let me have all the fun two weeks in a row. He also trusted me that I had his back.

The drive to Baltimore was one of my favorite trips evar. We were jetting south on I-95 and passing state troopers all the while. We would speed and slow down, each time talking to each other about the reason for the move. We were fucking idiots. Smart dumb niggas supreme. And yes, we were lucky that we weren’t arrested and made it back to NYC. I think of all the dumb shit that we have gotten away with and I realize why SW thought he got pull off a bank job. You won’t ever encounter someone who calculates the contingencies as thoroughly as SW does. I hate planning. No wonder I sucked as an architect. Planning is what prevents you from failing. Or so I thought…

sw

SW planned this job with some of his homeys from VA. These weren’t dudes he had grown up with but he knew them from the times he would retreat to Virginia Beach to get away from hustle and bustle of NYC. Theses dudes heard SW’s stories of the fifty ways we used to get money in the city and they wanted to add a chapter to the book. “Do y’all realize how often these banks get heisted?” was the theme of SW’s pitch.

The scene inside the bank was on smash and SW would commandeer the getaway vehicle. The plan worked too and they got away. Unfortunately for them they were pulled over in New Jersey. A monthly quota speeding ticket became one state trooper’s retirement portfolio. SW fucked up by being a stand up guy. While everyone else dropped dimes on each other SW’s silence bought him the stiffest sentence. He sat inside the Federal system for over a decade. While I continued to party and bullshit SW took the weight for my teenage years. ThunderCracker’s mom, who loves me dearly, once told me that I was the reason that everyone were so cautious and scared for all of us, because I was the one leading the boys down the path. I am still the Black Peter Pan.

SW is home now and frankly looks better than he ever did. He has adjusted to his time away and has no bitter resentment towards life or even the bullshit that I still get into. He has a brand new son who looks tremendous and a beautiful wife in Virginia. SW still has that gleam in his eye though. That maybe if I tried hard enough I could convince him to go with me to Mexico next year. Yeah, the homey is still a rider.

sw

When I Reminisce…

Tuesday, June 1st, 2010

jgw

The last time I got pinched by the po-po was for some ridonkulous shit. I was on my way home from work and right on the corner next to the subway entrance was a homeless man(prah’lee one of BILLY SUNDAY’s peeps) with his blanket laid out on the street. He had a bunch of records on the blanket and one of them was an old soul album by this dude, JOHNNY ‘Guitar’ WATSON. I wanted that album badly too because I called myself trying to become a crap music producer at the time. The streetbum only wanted a dollar for the LP, but my dumb azz only had a single token on me at the time. For whatever the reason I had left my scrilla home. If I offered the streetbum my token then I wouldn’t have any money to enter the subway, but if I let this rare vintage album go I would be mad at myself for days.

I made my decision to not let the album slip away and I gave the streetbum my subway token which he begrudgingly accepted. I was like, “Dude, that token is worth a buck and a quarter”. The streetbum was like whatever, but he knew I was right so he gave me the album. I was wide open for some soul samples at the time. Back in 1993 WU-TANG had this dirty gritty sound that used a deep base and haunting strings. DRE was busy stealing all of Funkadelics hidden tracks. Nobody really had any classic soul as their background until Pete Rock and Jay Dee came through. I was ahead of my time and like most visionaries I was broke as smoke. I actually had some scrilla back at the crib, but I didn’t bring it out with me so that I didn’t fall prey to the temptation to copp a crispy new pair of Air Maxs. Without my token I was going to have to hop the subway turnstile.

A few years prior to this time I would say that was like nothing, but this was a brand new day in New York City and the newest mayor made young Black males like myself public enemy number one. The truth is that we prah’lee co-conspired with him to some degree as we accepted the false machismo and thuggish behavior as something that was inevitably a Black males rite of passage. Ice Cube and N.W.A. formed the pop-culture populist soundtrack to boot. As I proceeded to the turnstiles I saw that a tandem of officers were stationed near the token booth. No big deal I thought and I continued to walk north along Sixth Avenue. At 23rd Street I noticed two undercover officers who were positioned inside of the gates. I will never understand why these police were called ‘undercover’ because there weren’t any fat white guys wearing dirty sneakers, Levis and sporting Marine Corps issued buzz cuts that rode the subways. Real cops are so unsocial that they might as well wear a uniform all of the time. Their casual clothing becomes a uniform too. No happs at this station. I continue to walk north. At this rate I might as well walk back to Queens.

show off

34th Street is an altogether different animal as far as commuter hubs are concerned. You have people taking the PATH trains to New Jersey as well as a latticework of subway lines that serve all the midtown office workers and MACY’s shoppers. I figured I could make myself blend in with the commuter crush that rapidly moves through this station. Back then there were still these wooden exit gates that were next to the large clunky wooden turnstiles. As people exited I decided to deftly enter the subway system. I was completely the smooth criminal as I held the gate open for a young lady to exit and then I swiftly ducked inside and proceeded to the ‘F’ train’s platform. As I descended the stairwell I recognized that the burly white guy at the foot of the stair could only be one thing and I quickly did an about face to run back up the stairwell. Unfortunately, I was being followed by the burly cop’s partner and another back up officer. Oh well, the jig was up I guessed. I would just give these cops my name and address and they would issue me a summons.

I was sorely mistaken, because in the new GUILIANI NYC you would not get off with a simple fine for ‘theft of services’. The police escorted me into a holding room with at least a dozen other handcuffed farebeaters. The cops frisked me and cuffed me. All the while I still had my JOHNNY ‘Guitar’ WATSON album in my hands. As I waited in the room with the others I noticed that there was a stench in the room as foul as anything I had ever smelled. Worse than the smell of a dead rotting carcass, it was the smell of a live rotting carcass. The police had apprehended a homeless guy with the rest of us. Dude had the most supernatural smell that you will ever experience. He may not have bathed since the spring and we were in the dead heat of summer. We remained in the room for another half hour as the police brought in a few more scofflaws. Now it was time for the chaingang to be brought outside to the paddywagon. As usual I see somebody that I know. My ex-girlfriend NICKY and two of her homegirls were shopping on 34th Street. I know she wants to laugh her head off since I was the total shitbag when we dated. Her girlfriends laugh for her.

We are herded into a big boxy police truck with benchs and no windows. We all barely fit into the back of the truck and when the metal doors are shut behind us there is only the glimmer of light that comes from the perforated grating along the side panels. The inside of the truck is steamy and hot like an oven. At that moment I start to become annoyed because I can smell the bum in the air. The ride to the precinct house was the most excruciating experience I have ever known. My senses were being assaulted by the summer heat, the lack of light and the most godawful smell in the universe. When the van doors finally opened we lept out completely defeated and devastated. I’m no snitch nigga, but that episode in the van had me ready to tell the F.B.I. where JIMMY HOFFA was buried, and I don’t even know that nigga.

Inside the station house we were grouped into holding cells and thankfully I was nowhere near that bum dude. I was ready to throw up all over myself if I had been in that police truck for one more minute. At least the holding cells have a more palatable urine smell. The police booked and fingerprinted me. Because I had identification on me and no outstanding warrants I was issued a D.A.T.(desk appearance ticket) with the instructions that if I missed the court date a warrant would be issued for my arrest. I decided then and there that jail was no longer sexy. The adventure was over for me when a short stay in central booking was how I kept it real. Jail is some underclass shit. Period. Point blank. It wasn’t just about losing my freedom that had me all fucked up, but that fucking stink azz bum that smelled like hot ass-pee-shit.

Take it from me, if any of you parents want to scare your kids straight bring them to a homeless shelter, find the nastiest bum in there and show your kid who his jailhouse roommate will be.

sixth avenue

In Memory Of…

Monday, May 31st, 2010

tc

ALL of the fallen soldiers

ThunderCracker’s born day was yesterday. He is still a big presence in my mind as are all the people that I miss dearly, Megatron, Kenny, Herb Shalat, my dad. All soldiers. Some are veterans of foreign wars and others are casualties of a silent, subtle domestic war that continues to this minute.

I feel like spending some time reminiscing on where I have come from. Without the people that have come thru my life in one way or another I’m sure I would not have become the person I am today. As long as I breathe their memory lives thru me…

-Dallas Penn

Ass Backwards Indonesia…

Sunday, May 30th, 2010

tightpants

The ultra othodox reactionary Islamic nation of Indonesia just put a law into affect that bans tightpants.

Not from rappers like Lil’ Wang, but from women.

Men dressing up like women in Indonesia will still be acceptable

Laserbeam Rap Is Back…

Sunday, May 30th, 2010

kw pew

*pew, pew, pew!*

Complex magazine hollered at the kid again to participate in their rap music roundtable review they call ‘The Consensus‘. This time around we were to drop a few words on the new KanYe West single featuring Dwele titled ‘Power’. It’s a good song that I could envision being on the ‘808s & Heartbreak’ album. Musically it fits into that groove while lyrically KanYe is rapping and not using the spartan repetitive prose he employed in 808s. Or the autotune.

Listen…

This what the fux I’m tom ’bout. That Eminem single you sent out was great for retahds and losers to get dressed to, but this shit here is what a Wall Street daytrader showers to in the morning. All ego with no apologies. Like Jordan shooting free throws with his eyes closed.

One day in the near future someone will uncover 808s and wonder how our culture produced that futuristic album but couldn’t follow up that movement. KanYe dialed his shit back to put this together and its still gonna be a crazy single. The live instrument concert version will be off the hook.

4.5/5

Now peep all the reviews from the distinguished panel – The Consensus