It was easy enough for a talented comic like DAVE CHAPELLE to parody the Pied Piper, but when you create music so intoxicating that even hipsters have to put down their Jamba Juice to pick up a pen, then you are more than an artist.
Peep this joint by iNternets Celebrities MIMI & FLO – ‘Same Dude’
For more crazy SYLVESTER shit go to IFC dot com and pick up the Trapped In The Closet series episodes 13-20.
“Two years ago, a friend of mine, asked me to say some emcee rhymes” – (c)JOSEPH ‘Run’ SIMMONS
It was only two years ago that DP Dot Com became a live and direct website after years of existing as only a friends and family e-mail blast. In these two short years we have gained dozens of actual family and friends while moving into a noticeable position among the internets hip urban based information channels. We wouldn’t be here without the dedication and love of all of you that are reading this drop now. Your comments have given us the motivation to continue this endeavor even though money gets tight and morale gets low. Give yourselves a round of applause for choosing the red pill. You folks can handle the truth.
The other factor that keeps the lights on at DP Dot Com is the resolve of the administration that drops jew-ells on this site with such a regularity that you almost don’t even have to leave this URL to stay in touch with the world. Almost. That is due to the hard work of a core of people that write content for these webpages so that at least you have something productive to do while you are at work fucking the fuck off. Let’s take a minute during the two year anniversary of Dallas Penn Dot Com to acknowledge the people that keeps the lights on at this bitch…
 |
CHOCOLATE SNOWFLAKE C.S. pwns this bitch. She authorizes the HTML codes and she pays the fucking bandwidth bills. So when you see the Captain talking sassy about getting some white action just know that he has C.S.’s blessing already. Well, not so much blessing in as much understanding that the Captain can’t do shit without her making sure that the domain name stays paid for. |
| CAPTAIN BILLY SUNDAY The captain was shipwrecked some thirty years ago when leaving ‘Nam on a Korean junk sailboat. He was lost at sea for over twenty years only to wash up in the Phillipines as a captive to a pirate slave colony. This is where he developed his love for NIKE sneakers while working in a leather sweatshop in Namphong. The captain is a lover of all kinds of esoteric bullshit and the what not, but the main thing to note is that he is a lover. |
 |
 |
COMBAT JACK If Haiti had an organized army then COMBAT JACK would be like their COLIN POWELL mashed up with DENMARK VESEY. As it were he comes to DP Dot Com to expose the entertainment industry for their crooks and liars. Occasionally he will review a movie based upon a comic book, but don’t think for a minute that his review won’t be the most hardbody shit you ever read. |
 |
TONY’s KANSAS CITY Only at DP Dot Com will you find a Mexican that doesn’t do any stereotypical work in order to receive his sub minimum wages. Mostly though, TONY likes to live in America, because everything’s free in America, but for a small fee in America. |
| 40 DAWG DP’s security force begins and ends with a six foot seven inch, three hundred twenty five pound former offensive lineman. 40 will also give the people a thought provoking drop from time to time in between bottles of Olde Gold and his modeling gig for Mighty Healthy NYC. |
 |
 |
SHORTY WHITEBREAD The last DP Dot Com intern went on to a teaching position at Columbia University (true story). The sky’s the limit for Shorty Whitebread and he hasn’t let a poor thyroid derail his plans. I think he could be the next president of these here United snakes. |
 |
‘YE TUDDA We had to put someone on who knew what the grandpa bear sweater was. |
| THE ‘HOOD FAIRY The ‘Hood Fairy helps DP Dot Com stay fresh to def by searching around for fly shit for us to add to the archived collection. In a few more years the ‘Hood Fairy will be invaluable as she directs us to where all the fairies of legal age are hanging out getting their drink on. |
 |
 |
UNCLE RUCKUS DP Dot Com needs someone who recognizes some sweet pink toe poon when it’s on the streets. RUCKUS made sure that we contracted other bloggers like H8TORADE and iFUX for their massive collections of KIM KARDASHIAN nude pix. |
 |
HIGH AZZ LLOYD BANKS Fisty Scent’s number one weedcarrier is the dude that rides his Redline BMX to bring us the monthly check from Harris Publications. |
And there you have it. A quick rundown of some of the characters that make this site that official crack in HTML form.
Editor’s note: You should already know MEKA SOUL from Hip-Hop DX dot Com. The big homie from the left coast submits his photographic correspondence from the front lines of the Rock The Bells concert during it’s California leg. Hip-Hop isn’t dead, it’s just catching some rays in sunny Cali-forn-I-aaayyyyyyyy.
Hip-Hop for sale, but never selling out.
Hip-Hop is NOT dead, it just came out west to get a little Berkeley S.A. poontang.
Hip-Hop is NOT dead, it’s just shacking up with a pink toe in the Valley.
Must. Copp. DOOM. Dunks.
The man in the mask rocked the microphone.
Hip-Hop is NOT dead, so long as PERCEE P is around.
PERCEE P freestyling @ Rock The Bells
Editor’s note: Show some love to H8torade™
H8torade™ loves summertime. The ladies are out in short shorts, bikini’s, and cut off shirts… Even the ones that are tipping the scale at 250+ aren’t afraid to flaunt it.
Carmen has let some guys run up in her that are human petri dishes. You know they have the latest and greatest STD’s that man may not even have a cure for (see: Dennis Rodman, Tommy Lee, and Dave Navarro), but you better believe that if Carmen called me up for a late night booty call I’d jump in my ride and take a chance at catching whatever STD she has… Hell, I’d fall asleep with it in there.
This goes without saying, but I’d hit it.
|
The ‘Hood Fairy says, “Eff the bullshit. You better put something over your meat if you don’t want your sacks to shrivel up like sunburnt raisins.” |
| Uncle Ruckus says, “You precious little colored angel girl. It’s prolly because you have a Black father that you can’t recognize the sweet heaven contained in the middle of Miss Electorate’s milky white legs. The great white Jesus up in the sky didn’t make that deliciousness for the Black man.” |
|
 |
‘Ye Tudda says, “I had to take antibiotics for a month after I put my tongue in PAM ANDERSEN’s mouth. I might would do it again, but I won’t truss it.” |
Shouts to VEE from Scritch and Scratch who took a minute from drawing some of the great iconic legends in Hip-Hop to create the new DP Dot Com avatar. Personally, I’ve never looked as good.
VEE, there’ll be free drinks on my tab at the next Keistar party at Sputnik. Bring wifey along too.