Editor’s note: Average Bro is not your average weblog. There’s insight and witticisms that extend to all kinds of social topics. I love the articles about why ROBERT SYLVESTER isn’t already in jail and what the fuck our kids are listening to in their iPods? I lifted this drop from his site to give you a taste of his flavor[ll].
“SuperManning That Ho!” (aka: Do You Really Know What’s In Your Child’s iPod?!?)
My disdain for ringtone rap music is well documented, so I probably just missed this one simply because I haven’t ever listened to more than 4-5 seconds of Soulja Boy’s ‘Crank Dat’. I guess I just value my brain cells far too much. For those of you familiar with this song this probably won’t be much of a surprise, but I ran across an article this morning that examined the song’s lyrics in depth and I couldn’t believe something so profane is being played over the airwaves.
Peep the lyrics yourself. The hook, which is about the only semi-intelligible thing in the entire song, goes a lil’ somethin’ like this:
Soulja Boy Off In This Ho
Watch Me Crank It
Watch Me Roll
Watch Me Crank Dat Soulja Boy
Then Super Man Dat Ho
Now Watch Me Do
(Crank Dat Soulja Boy)
Now Watch Me yua!
(Crank Dat Soulja Boy)
Now Watch Me yua!
If you’re like me, you’re probably wondering what the heck “SuperManning That Ho” entails. A quick Google of this term pulled up this very crude entry in the Urban Dictionary*. AverageBro.com is for the chill’ren, so I’m not going to bother cut and pasting the definition of “SuperManning That Ho” on this family friendly site. Let’s just say it makes the term “Skeet Skeet” sound like a nursery rhyme by comparison.
*Editor’s note: DP Dot Com is also for the children, but we believe that the children should be properly informed about everything. The Urban Dictionary quoth: “When you’re doing a girl doggy style, pull out, and cum on her back/ass. When she tells you to wipe it off, you pretend to, and when she wakes up, she has the bed sheets stuck to her back like supermans cape.”
Last week, I posted a clip of an obviously talented young kid stepping to the song “Wipe Me Down”. When a person purporting to be the child’s father visited the site, he left a scathing comment that set off a flurry of replies; many questioned me for being so critical, and some questioned the father’s sanity for posting a video of his kid dancing to a strip club anthem.
I have yet to hear back from the father, but if he’d like me to modify the post, I’d be more than willing. Chances are this clip was probably a family joke that someone irresponsibly got ahold of and threw on Youtube for the whole world (13,000 viewers and counting in just one week) to gawk at. I refuse to believe any rational and sane father would put his kid out there like that. For playing my part in such rank exploitation of a minor, I sincerely apologize. Hit me up if you want me to edit the post, but I’d suggest you get it off the rest of the internet too while you’re at it.
This whole thing has me wondering if people, especially parents, really know what these kids nowadays are listening to. If so, does it really matter anyway? My nephew, much to my chagrin, knows the dance as well as all the words to “Soulja Boy”. While I cry inside everytime I see him perform this, he’s a pretty sheltered 11-year old, so I wonder how much the whole concept of “SuperManning That Ho” goes right over his head. I don’t really worry about him turning out bad, after all, he is a straight-A private school student from a supportive two-parent household. Kinda, sorta… well, heck, just like I was as a tween’ listening to Too Short and the Too Live Crew, who were hardly Disney-friendly themselves. Judging by the daily readership here at AB.com, I’d say I turned out relatively well, so what’s to say he won’t?
Think about it. Are today’s “Aunt Jackie” and “Ay Bay Bay” really much worse than yesterdays “The Rappin’ Duke” and “The Pee Wee Herman“. Then again, those artists weren’t getting 6,500 spins a week, but hey, what do I know?
I guess rap lyrics, despite how profane, only can truly taint a certain impressionable segment of the population. And hey let’s face, that segment of the population is already eff’ed the eff’ up anyway. Hurricane Chris is merely proverbial icing on the shitcake of life for these kids. Cleaning up (c)rap music won’t improve their fortunes any more than firing Don Imus improved the fortunes of black women. Societal problems are far more complex to trivialize and pin on something so superficial as the words of an 18 year old. So while I sure as hell won’t be letting my son listen to “SuperManning That Ho” (yes, I am reusing that phrase on purpose) anytime soon, it’s probably not fair of me to judge others just because they allow their kids to.
Live and let live. I guess you could say this was an epiphany of sorts.
Reality is, bad parenting and poor education pose far bigger threats to our community than Soulja Boy’s ‘Crank Dat’. Maybe that’s why as much as BET bugs me, I’d much rather use my limited time and energy tutoring, mentoring, and coaching our next generation of young leaders than getting all in a tizzy over 106th and Park.
Then again, this is just one black man’s opinion. And you know what they say about those.
Bonus Beats: For the unfamiliar, here’s the music video to Soulja Boy’s song, thankfully minus a graphic demonstration of ‘SuperManning That Ho’.
And they say Hip-Hop Is Dead. I’d say “Hip-Hop is a rotting, stank, decomposed corpse of it’s former self” is probably a bit more accurate.
