Today’s special guest host is Chocolate Snowflake. We made a nice little bootleg Danyeliott podcast. Less production values, but better music. So don’t be a h8r like the dude in the background of the pic above.
Archive for the ‘Wig Owners’ Category
Blown Away By Black Dynamite…
Sunday, October 18th, 2009
GO SEE BLACK DYNAMITE IN THEATRES NOW!
‘Black Dynamite’ is all kinds of wrong funny.
There is definitely some shit I laughed at in this movie that God will be sending me to hell for. Even OG blaxploitation flicks weren’t this exploitative of the Blacks. This may be the reason I haven’t called this movie a classic. There are tons of laugh out loud moments throughout the movie and the themes they address are highlighted with humor, but in the end I was missing the big payback (no Richard Roundtree).
It’s not easy to parody stereotype without becoming that which you are mocking. ‘Black Dynamite’ reflects the cinema aesthetic for the 1970’s era so accurately that it almost becomes that itself. The problem with that is the fact that we are living in 2009 and the reality of those that view the film today will not be consistent with the people that watched a film like this in 1975. I like to laugh as much as anyone else, but I also need to be engaged with my eyes on the prize.
Doing parody is one of the most difficult tricks in the business of making comedy. You have to constantly remind the viewer that you are actively crafting the joke. Black Dynamite is a parody not just of the blaxploitation genre of movies but of the gangsta rap lifestyle and mindset that is now indelibly attached to Black culture. One of my favorite scenes is where the ensemble cast of actors and comedians does a rambling bit on African American numerical mysticism all the while inspiring Roscoe to sell chicken and waffles in his restaurant.
Black Dynamite is filled with wild action and homemade special effects all of which adds to the comedy. It felt like all the kung fu and crazy pimp flicks I had watched long ago. The movie’s writers and producers were definitely fans of the genre as well. You have to be an O.G. to catch some of their references. To a kid those will just be funny scenes but to some of us older fans we will remember the movie where we first saw that scene. Like I said earlier, parody is hard as hell especially with Black films because if you slip from the fine line you become baseless coonery.
Black Dynamite is a cross between I’m Gonna Git’ You Sucka and Original Gangstas. The laughs come fast and furious and sometimes at the expense of the storyline. I was hoping that Black Dynamite would be more like Bamboozled or the classic Black Hollywood experience parody film – Hollywood Shuffle. The fact that Black Dynamite falls short of the distinction of ‘classic’ doesn’t mean that it isn’t worth seeing, especially if you got a blunt of that good good beforehand.
Black Dynamite will tell you that even though drugs are fun they don’t belong in the hands of children.
I co-sign that message to the fullest.
Out of a 4 retahd rating sytem I give ‘Black Dynamite’ 3 retahds.
Heieneken Red Star Soul Party…
Sunday, October 18th, 2009
Heineken has a space in Black people lore similar to Hennessy. Neither of these products are the best at what they do, but Black folks can’t do without them (for the record: Heineken Dark >>> Modelo Negro). Therefore the Heineken Red Star Soul party was as bananas to get into as the Hennessy Artistry joint. Let’s also agree that a free concert with free Heineken on a Friday is as good as it gets.
The event was filled with celebrities who mixed things up with regular folks. That made the party real fun for me to watch because most Hip-Hop celebs occupy a weird space in stardom. Everyone loves to be acknowledged for creating content or art except when it comes to being recognized in a Hip-Hop setting you usually have to deal with people that are jealous of the success of your art and efforts. Some of the fans think that THEY should be in your shoes.
This is why I love being an internets celebrity. There isn’t anyone that knows me. And the folks that recognize me for my online efforts have a highspeed internets connection so they aren’t even the losers using dial-up. No wonder so many rappers are becoming internets celebrities. It’s way better than real world celebrity foe the simple fact that you save a grip on personal security expenses. Unfortunately, there is no red carpet for internets celebrities.
I did a Sneaker Fiends Unite! inspection on Wale and the boy checks out as always. I can’t even front like I have been fuxing with his music lately. After the ‘Mixtape About Nothing’ I have become lukewarm to him. He a cool dude tho’.
Apparently, Wale put the ‘high’ in Heineken.
While Melanie Fiona puts the fine in ‘foine’!
Randomness! Mario Lopez, but sadly no Lark.
It’s the Cons. G.O.O.D. Music in the building. Consequence be in the streets more than any rapper I can think of. ‘Don’t Quit Your Day Job‘ was tragically slept on. Don’t sleep on that next joint.
Is this chick from 3LW? And who the fux cares?!?
Why is this man smiling? Have the Knicks traded him to Cleveland?
His name is D-Nice. Taking out you suckas and you don’t know how he did it. Salute this man for being a creative force in Hip-Hop for over twenty years.
Clue Money > CLAW Money
Got milk?
Tyson still spending that Ralph Lauren money.
Slim what up?
Suicide it’s a suicide. Timm is trying to battle me on the lifestyle tip. Would someone please tell this man he does not want to test the champion.
Noz.
Watch out now. DeCep is in the building. Hail Meg!
Rocawear’s Diamond Girl…
Wednesday, October 14th, 2009
Marvelous Mo is a good friend to this page. I’m happy that we became close because she is a real star. She recounts the time we worked the red carpet at the Hip-Hop Honors show and Mo went in on everyone that came through. Not as a grandstander but as a great interviewer, beautiful enough to disarm the most guarded celebs and unafraid to ask the tough questions. With each piece of press she creates her skills get sharper. Get familiar with Marvelous Mo. She is gonna blow… UP.
Racial Profiling Gets A Facial…
Tuesday, October 13th, 2009
The FBI has a new weapon in their war against crime. It’s your face. By using facial recognition software and the images stored in the Department of Motor Vehicles databases nationwide you aren’t going to able to skip out on a parking ticket any longer. So far they have caught at least one person for a crime and before the year is out they may, or may not, catch someone else. But in the meantime, they know what you look like.
So as soon as we criminalize people for having noses that are too wide or we crunch the numbers to find that people with a certain spacial relationship between their eyes and ears are more prone to crime (just like that candy to crime study) we will start locking you fools up on some preemptive shit. Remember how we bombed the fux out of Iraq preemptively? This will be just like that. We will kick in your door on some Minority Report shit, scan your retinas a then whup your ass.
So don’t think for a second that we won’t be abusing this technology.
What good is technology if it isn’t used for evil?