Archive for the ‘H.A.M.’ Category

Six Degrees Of Sylvia Rhone…

Tuesday, May 26th, 2009

s_rhone

BILLY X. SUNDAY DALLAS PENN asks “Where are the ladies at?!?”

I haven’t done too much writing this past weekend not because it was a holiday or because my check from Harris Publishing came in and I have been in an alcoholic x THC influenced stupor, but because I have been trying to process the Charles Hamilton vs. Briana Latrise debacle for its overall effect on Hip-Hop as we know it.

Firstly, it was a shot heard ’round the internets, that finally after so many hardbody female artists like MC Lyte, Lin Que, Latifah, Rah Digga, Lady of Rage and all those lesbian chicks on the Miss Rap Supreme show we now see a female emcee who is willing to strike pre-emptively. This was no Real Roxanne episode where a chick was passed around the entire crew from Full Force to U.T.F.O. (and possibly Force MD’s – uggh) before she had the nerve to speak her mind.

Briana Latrise is the resultant of years of rap music being specifically anti-woman. Nevermind the fact that there have been women who still managed to work in this environment. Plenty of women go to work in offices and other places where the instances of sexual and racial harassment are abundant. Rap music was in the forefront of artistic misogyny. You can’t deny this either. N.W.A. and Too $hort happen to just pop up in my brain, but if you do the math I’m sure you will discover that the word bitch was used most frequently from 1990 onward.

Here’s the freaky coincidence…

The explosion of misogynistic music and conversely music videos which promoted the music’s lifestyle directly parallels the ascendancy and prominence of African American female executives in the entertainment industry. You might almost surmise that Black women in executive positions love to see images of prostrated Black women as much, if not more than anyone else. Why else would all the degrading images and content be underwritten, created and promoted by these executives. It’s almost as if they were trying to develop a permanent underclass mentality for females of color.

The tsunami doesn’t trap all the women of color underwater, but the ones that escape certainly don’t ring the alarm for the ones coming up either. Briana Latrise’s reactionary punch to Charles Hamilton’s jaw was about their personal relationship as much as it was about her frustrations at being marginalized as an artist. Briana won’t be on the cover of Vibe anytime soon even if she poses butter ass nekkid like Ciara and Keisha Cole have done. Briana’s options haven’t been obfuscated by the ‘Man’. Briana has been pigeonholed by the woMan.

The more women are inducted into positions of influence and power the less we are seeing them find their voices as artists. That wouldn’t be such a bad thing though if the art in general reflected more respect for women overall, but the opposite is the case. More women execs has equaled less women artists plus more misogynists. What part of the game is this? Combine that with the knowledge that prison culture is also promoted as the ideal for manhood and I would have to start raising an eyebrow at women of color holding executive positions in the entertainment industry.

I should prA’li watch my step around here since I don’t want my XXL checks getting to my mailbox several months late again but I’m just wondering why no one else is concerned about the silence that has come from the Rihanna supporters? Here’s why you haven’t heard a peep. The real life pecking order inside of the urban entertainment industry looks something like this. White man > white women > Black women > Asians (primarily Filipino) > the Mexican diaspora (P.R., Cuban, D.R., Colombia) > ghey Black men > office furniture (Herman Miller chairs) > Black men.

So as long as Black men are talking shit about Black women and catching a bad one to the jaw bone everyone in Hip-Hop is satisfied.

Jailhouse Rock…

Saturday, May 23rd, 2009

rapfags

I thought I’d try something new to keep this shit funky over here.

Jailhouse lifestyle and fashion trends have long since been a staple of cRap music. Shit like the du-rag, the wifey B, the kissing men on the mouf, the male hustler who rubs talcum powder on the old men’s nuttsachs, you know, the whole nine…

The popular jailhouse fashion trend right now is currently flashing the men behind you what your underdrawls look like. I can’t imagine this is for showing off to the ladies. Who wants to see skiddoo streaks anyhoo?

Pictured above are three of the most popular young artists in cRap music right now performing in their underdrawls. Which one of these cRap dudes is going to go platinum in his pissypants? You make the call…

*[ll] and no Boutros Boutros BOUTROS for all voters*

Which one of these ghey ass rap fags rocked their underdrawls the best?

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The Best I Ever Heard…

Friday, May 22nd, 2009

kellz

You still can’t see this nigga!

I will admit that I don’t really fux with the boy Drake. I recognize he is talented and he has a devoted group of followers on these here internets but I’m just not into dude like that. Because of his talent and his youth I think he would be a dope addition to the Frat Rap Pack supergroup of Kid Cudi, Asher Roth and Bobby Ray. That shit is just a made up supergroup on this blog though and not something that I think will actually happen. Of all those rappers I just named Drake might be the hottest in the game right now.

Asher Roth fell off the map coincidentally with the return of Eminem and the opening of his Twitter mouf. Kid Cudi is in Hawaii right now after catching a little buzz from the ‘Sky Might Fall’ x Transformers 2 video that was being circulated on the web. Bobby Ray is… I’m not really sure what B.o.B.’s story is but I will be in Atlanta doing some reporting so maybe I will get some insight on his future projects. Drake stays on the radio though. I’m not sure how that was pulled off but it was.

Drake is the next level of internets superstar to be pushed out into the mainstream. The Asher Roth experiment proved that internets buzz isn’t valuable for realtime, real life sales figures. The internets don’t buy CD’s no matter what the people say in the comments threads. Let’s be honest, who here is buying some shit they can get for free? The people handling Drake did well to put him on the radio. At least those people will buy a bootleg CD. I knew son was doing big things when my homey who doesn’t know shit about the web asked me to pass him some of Drake’s music.

Drake’s buzz even got the attention of the master of Rap & Bullshit, acquitted hebephile crooner Kellz has hopped on the ‘Best I Ever Had’ single. I don’t care what anyone says about this dude, Kellz makes the ladies toss their panties on the stage. Chicks would love for him to pee on them. Some dudes too. This is why dudes like Kellz, T-Pain, Wayne and T.I. don’t have to go to jail like the rest of us do. They make the soundtracks for all of our dysfunctional society foolishness. Without them we might have to actually listen to meaningful music.

R.Kelly is the godfather of the rap & bullshit genre of Hip-Hop music. He definitely gave birth to T-Pain’s lane. I’ve heard Kellz do tracks using auto-tune that have merc’ked anything that T-Pain has produced in his life. Keep in mind that R. Kelly can actually sing when he wants to. Plus he is like this idiot savant entertainer that comes alive when he is in the recording booth, yet he can’t conduct a coherent discussion anywhere else. R.Kelly is a bad man with a microphone in his hand, and as long as you keep Kellz away from a high school lunchroom you won’t have to worry too much about his appetite for destruction.

Kellz is the king of Rap & Bullshit

kellz

FAILING LEAF…

Friday, May 22nd, 2009

leaf

RYAN LEAF is the main reason former San Diego Chargers GM BOBBIE BEATHARD lost his gig. LEAF is a monster headcase and a bigger drug addict than DARYL STRAWBERRY and DWIGHT GOODEN combined. There was a time though during his college career when LEAF was considered the best quarterback in the nation.

RYAN LEAF and PEYTON MANNING were the first two draft picks in the 1998 draft. From that point LEAF made one of the most remarkable, precipitous falls from grace. Even MICHAEL VICK would be like “Daaaaayyyyyyum!” RYAN LEAF is under indictment in Texas for burglary and possession of a controlled substance while he is currently undergoing drug rehab in British Columbia.

You don’t go to Canada to get OFF drugs. You go to Canada to GET drugs. The good thing for LEAF is that he hasn’t kicked any dogs.

Get In Where You Fit In…

Wednesday, May 20th, 2009

rosa

The ATL homey and brodie champ MarcusSpekt from the Winner Circles sent me that new Rosa Acosta fitness video that you all need to see.

Shout outs to all the ballerinas and dancers that keep themselves limber, flexible and ready to perform.

And thank heaven, for little girls…

rosa