Archive for the ‘H.A.M.’ Category

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Deconstructing The Myth…

Tuesday, December 16th, 2008

pac

Thuggin’ bubbles makes the kids go crazy…

I was all ready to go in deep to deconstruct the myth of Tupac being in the Top 10 list of rappers of all time and I just realized that he may not even make the Top 50 list. Calling Tupac the G.O.A.T. is like calling Lil’ Wayne the “best rapper alive”. The only way either of these scenarios is possible is if you remove every other rapper from existence.

I originally was going to compare Tupac’s lyrics against these other rapper’s best songs…

Rakim
NaS
Jay-Z
Ice Cube
B.I.G.
LL
Kool G Rap
Common
Big Pun
Andre 3K
Big L
KRS-1

Then I realized that I had left off so many other rappers who deserve to get placed in that control group.

Redman
Scarface
Ghostface
Raekwon
E-40
Treach
Black Thought
GZA
Method Man
Mos Def
Talib Kweli

And then I realized that there are these rappers who will come to surpass Tupac in lyrical quality like…

Joell Ortiz
Joe Buddens
Royce da’ 5-9
Crooked I
Game
Saigon
Fabolous

And then I thought about how eazy it was to make a list…

Young Jeezy
Kanyeezy
Lil’ Weezy
Lil’ Eazy
Febreze

Okay, maybe I’m wrong on that one. Tupac might could rap better than Febreze.

Posted in Billy Sunday @ XXL, Crappers, Ghetto Celebs, H.A.M., Ninjas, No Boutros Boutros... Ghali, Talking Shit, When I Reminisce... | 59 Comments »

Kill ‘Yo Television!

Monday, December 15th, 2008

dead tv

Everybody is being gassed up to change their televisions units into HD compatible because all the companies that dictate what signal they will send off are all switching up to digital?!?

I will be honest with y’all and say that I haven’t followed this story to the fullest. I don’t fucking care actually. The reason being is that I don’t watch any broadcast television on my t.v. set. I watch DVDs and my old ass VHS tapes. If there is any broadcast news content I want to see I get it from the internets.

This is the future of broadcasting. Period. People get to choose the content they want to view WHEN they want to view it. NBC Universal has figured out a way to monetize their television content over the internets. They have all kinds of clips from Saturday Night Live posted on Hulu.com. The commercials have been pared down to 10 seconds or less. I watch ‘The Office’ on Hulu all the time. The show is now like 22mins long. What do I do with the 8mins I just shaved off that program? I watch pr0n of course.

My new shit is xnxx.com. Go there on YOUR time and type in the keywords ‘Caroline threesome’. That shit is hard fucking body.

I thought I could set you folks up with a few videos that I have been fucking with that you could peep from your offices. Lord knows that the next two weeks are possibly the least productive days for office workers in the country. Most of you are scrambling to pick up those last minute holiday gifts and the what not. Before you go out and brave the crowds enjoy these videos from the YT’s.

That’s YouTubes you know?

Posted in Black Bullshit, Crappers, H.A.M., Ninjas, Politricks, When I Reminisce... | 9 Comments »

R.I.P. BETTIE MAE PAGE

Saturday, December 13th, 2008

spank rock

BETTIE PAGE is part of the reason that some women make shitloads of cash doing pr0n. PAGE didn’t do pr0n though. All she did was expose the hypocrisy of our culture when we see the female form.

At least she didn’t die penniless like some bum on the street. She led a curious life because during the 1960’s she left the modeling business totally. PAGE only resurfaced during the last decade or so. She had been signing photos and memoribilia at conventions and the what not. PAGE was a little embarrassed at her fandom since she didn’t consider herself beautiful.

I hope some of you video ho’s out there say a quick prayer for your patron goddess.

Posted in BeYONCE's Hair, Fashion Faux Pas, Ghetto Celebs, H.A.M., Lust = Love, When I Reminisce..., Wig Owners | 3 Comments »

Computer Love In Real Life…

Saturday, December 13th, 2008

aiko

I am a little jealous of this dude LE TRUNG. Instead of being like the rest of us fanboys who happily collect action figures and pose them for music videos LE decided to make his own action figure. A life size fem-bot named Aiko. He has programmed her to speak English as well as Japanese, which was a bit curious since dude is a Vietnamese cat living in Canada.

Whatever is clever is what my moms always said. This dude has effectively solved his virginity issues by making another virgin. However, he better not let homegirl watch any television and definitely no internets because she will leave his ass for sure.

That is, as soon as she is programmed to walk. Now I see this programming pimp’s angle. Aiko will never walk out on him if he never motorizes her legs. Talk about ‘Love Lockdown’?

I say he still better watch out though because if her heart walks out the door then it doesn’t matter if she stays. You don’t want to fucks with an android chick with a cold heart. That is some heartless shit (no ‘Ye Tudda).

aiko

aiko

^^^ LOLz at homeboy trying to cover up the chubby that Aiko is giving him.

aiko

LE TRUNG is the freak of the week as he takes Aiko all about the town to cosplay conventions and strolls in the park. The best part is this story is that dude is taking orders to build more of these joints.

Posted in BeYONCE's Hair, Fanboy Ish, H.A.M., Harpers Weekly Review, Lust = Love, Weird Science, Wig Owners | 5 Comments »

The Association @ ESPN Zone

Thursday, December 11th, 2008

obama kicks

A change is gonna come to how broke azz mofo’s like myself watch NBA basketball. I still don’t have cable service in my apartment so I have to go out to watch NAB games. This might mean watching NBA Ticket at my favorite bulletproof fried chicken Chinese restaurant or, when I have even less money I go to ESPN Zone.

I know what you are thinking right now. How the fuck can I go to ESPN Zone to watch a ballgame [ll] when I have even less money than is required to buy a five dollar try of chicken and fried rice? Firstly, I bring my own food and drinks. Secondly, I sit in one of the bathroom stalls at ESPN Zone that have their own personal screens telecasting the games.

I find this the most comfortable and efficient way to enjoy NBA basketball. Sheeeeeit, any sporting event for that matter. I get the quality programming of an ESPN broadcast, my own choice of refreshments and the ability to engage in one of my favorite pastimes – dropping a deuce. Puns are always intended here at DP Dot Com and this arrangement I use at ESPN Zone is a win-win for me no matter the outcome of the contests.

Posted in C.R.E.A.M., H.A.M., iNternets Celebrities, No Boutros Boutros... Ghali, Sports are Gay, Straight Laced, Talking Shit | 10 Comments »

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