Archive for the ‘Harpers Weekly Review’ Category

FOXY BROWZ…

Saturday, March 6th, 2010

foxy browz

I read an iHipHop article about Foxy Brown and Ron Browz working together in the studio and my mind immediately lit up.

Can you imagine a reality show with crazy ass Fox Boogie and the auto-tuned one hit wonder Ron Browz?

rantwit

These two meatballs would try to start a business. An eyebrow threading salon in Harlem called ‘Foxy Browz’. I think they would have to put some African chicks in there to do braiding as well. Of course, they would have a recording studio in the back.

So where do I go to when I have these moments of unmitigated pop culture creativity? TWitter, natch. This is where I like to go to ruminate on issues of the day.

rantwit

Or whatever shit just pops into my head [ll].

rantwit

But mostly I just talk my shit. To be perfectly 1000 with y’all, TWitter and the loss of my video camera is the reason this blog fell the fux off.

140 characters (spaces included) >>> 600 word drops

Maybe that isn’t entirely the truth, but TWitter is globalized text message catharsis and trust me that you will want to be on TWitter when the Oscars are awarded. Watching an awards show while logged on to TWitter is like sprinkling your Newport 100 with cocaine. That shit turns into a 1000000millie.

rantwit

If you tried to follow me on TWitter using the sidebar on this site you would have wound up at my previous TWit ID. I change them joints like my underwear. Okay, I change my drawls more often, but I keep it moving on TWitter. You can find me now @Rant_Sum, but I am already preparing my latest TWit ID – @Google_Blax. I’m saving that shit tho’ for the return of the Blax Headroom show.

Just know that I keep my priorities posted.

rantwit

Robots Killed The Dinosaurs…

Friday, March 5th, 2010

dino eff robot

A group of international scientists are blaming the mass extinction of the dinosaurs on an asteroid that collided with Earth 65 million years ago.

I think this is all a diversion to hide the real cause of the demise of the dinosaurs. It was their illicit sexual relations with robots.

Dinosaurs Fucking Robots.com

Charles Rangel Was Asleep At The Wheel…

Wednesday, March 3rd, 2010

rangel

CHARLES RANGEL is a typical representative in the Beltway. He has his hands in so much shit he doesn’t know if he’s coming or going. His biggest position was in being chairman of the Ways and Means committee. He was crucial in determining the rate of taxation for Wall Street corporations. Today he was forced to resign as the chairman of the House Ways and Means committee lest he drag down other Democrats into his ethics clusterfux.

RANGEL’s tireless efforts to keep the wealthy rolling in the bucks garnered him handsome junkets to the Caribbean. RANGEL has also presided over the transformation of Harlem and north Manhattan while he was the NY rep in the House of Reps. New York City will never be the same and I don’t think any politician other than SHIRLEY CHISHOLM had the mettle to defend the proletariat.

RANGEL can’t retire soon enough and if you live in RANGEL’s NY-15 district please vote for his challenger, VINCENT MORGAN during the Democratic primary in September. Between Harold Ford Jr., NY governor David Patterson and Now Rangel, 2010 has been a shitty year for jig politicos. VINCENT MORGAN can reverse the trend.

POLITRICKS 2010: Blindsided…

Saturday, February 27th, 2010

gov pat

The Democratic machine wanted NYS governor DAVID PATERSON to sit the fux down for the next election round. He ended up in the big seat at the statehouse by accident in the first place. SPITZER wasn’t supposed to get taken down so rudely, but ELIOT didn’t play nice with Wall Street and Wu-Tang Clan told us all that cash rules everything around us. So when SPITZER became deposed we all ended up with the booby prize. PATERSON had his chance to go quietly when OBAAMA told him to back down, but instead PATERSON tempted fate and now the hounds have been released.

I’m not a PATERSON h8r tho’. He’s balanced the state budgets when the the truth is that the majority of the money for this state is generated in an area that comprises 1/2400 of the state’s total area. I’m referring to NYC naturally. But PATERSON is part and parcel of politricks and anything goes in politricks. There is blood in the water and the sharks are circling. The only question is if PATERSON will be dragged under or barely escape by losing a leg below the knee? If this were 10 years prior then PATERSON might could call on his buddy CHARLIE RANGEL to help him get over the hump, but in 2010 RANGEL is an even bigger legislative liability than PATERSON is.

DAVID PATERSON knew the machine was coming for him and now he has nowhere to turn. The kingmakers are ready to give the throne back to the prince in waiting as a repayment for the unceremonious dumping of his father, the noble MARIO CUOMO. The godfather governor was ushered out of Albany on a rail as part of the liberal purge which also saw DAVID DINKINS get the boot from City Hall. ANDREW CUOMO has been groomed to be NYS governor since way back. It’s kind of interesting when you live long enough to see families anointed into political offices as opposed to actually being elected (see BUSH family).

Wal-Mart Is Saving Detroit?!?

Thursday, February 25th, 2010

wal mart

I fux with Wal-Mart just like the rest of America does. The way I see it we are tumbling headfirst into the reality where the only industrial corporations that exist will be Wal-Mart, Universal Media Corp, McDonald’s and prisons (incidentally, Air Jordans will be manufactured at Folsom and Attica). It’s hard to test Wal-Mart’s corporate steez. They have this shit figured out. They make shit. They ship shit. You buy shit. IKEA might do it with hipper promotion, but Wal-mart does it 25 hours a day.

So why the fux is everybody all pissy because Wal-Mart has partnered with Detroit public schools in teaching kids how to work in their stores? Do you realize that unemployment in Detroit is nearly at 50%? That fact alone should have people scrambling into action. How can America let one of their former manufacturing centers go fallow? That’s disgusting B. Critics want to argue that kids are being taught the ideals of being subservient but I disagree since America primarily deals in service industry labor. These kids are getting a lesson in America 101.

In ten more years if you ain’t working for Wal-Mart then who the fux is your employer gonna be? In my eyes these kids from Detroit have a leg up on their future. If they really want to position themselves for the executive suites they will learn Mandarin.