Archive for the ‘Billy Sunday @ XXL’ Category

cRap Music Fantasy League Q4 Update Wk.2

Tuesday, October 16th, 2007

drewreports.com

weezy + pajama pants + syrup = sooooo gangsta

Yo! Did you see them guns your boy T.I. was gonna bring to the B.E.T. awards?!?

WTF!?!

Someone was definitely getting merc’ked up that piece, or in the very least they would be putting a pound of shit in their drawls. I want to know where someone gets those kind of guns anyway? That nigga got some BlackWater USA connection. Here’s the good news for T.I., sort of, or at least for the label owners that have dude on their roster. T.I.’s appearance at the B.E.T. 2007 Hip-Hop awards would only have netted him 100 points. His arrest for Federal firearms possession is worth 300 points.

Mo’ money, mo’ money!

Last week was a pretty busy week in general for the cMFL with Lil’ Wang a/k/a the pajama pants boy getting pinched in Boise, Idaho [ll], and Fisty Scent having a day named after him Connecticut. Here is a look at the leader board for the quarter. There’s still a whole lot of cRap Music Fantsy League to be played so son’t get mad if your label isn’t at the top yet.

Krack Ko Kaine Entertainment 1500
The Nappy Ram Affiliates 1350
WDISL Records 1250
America Done Fell Off Records 1250
Incilin Productions 1250
CRap-A-lot Records 1200
Gain Green Records 1150
Gunshine State Music 1150
Fuckin Sellout Records 1100
Beat Break Records 1100
NYC Records 1050
Combat Jack Records 950
Pretty Dollar Entertainment 950
SayDatNuccaName Wreckids 950
Death On Arrival Records 900
Fantasy Records 900
WindBreaker Records 900
All Starz Entertainment 850
Open Cannister Recordz 850
Solutions Global Media 800
MIP Records 750
Jesus Slap Boxers 750

The Race To The Bottom…

Sunday, October 14th, 2007

drew reports

DALLAS PENN vs. BILLY X. SUNDAY every day at XXL Mag Dot Com

Between artists no longer being able to remember lines to songs and being proud of this fact and Diddy smacking the shit out of another clubgoer, we have this most recent parade of rappers being arrested for shit that is decidedly NOT smart dumb rapper shit. Clifford ‘T.I.’ Harris is the latest casualty of the rap music race to the bottom. Why the fuck T.I. needed a shitload of guns in his possession will be examined and discussed in the next few weeks. Because I’m a blogger and I don’t do much else other than sit around in my mom’s basement and hit up free pr0n websites I have the free time to think about the reasons why one of Atlanta’s most popular pop music icons would be building a private arsenal on his palatial compound. Guess what bitches?! Yep, it’s another list.

1) Research for the ‘American Gangster’ sequel titled ‘African-American Hitman’. How ridiculous is the idea that some Black dude was running a narcotics operation that netted millions of dollars without any white hands getting paid trillions. Keep in mind that Blacks don’t harvest poppy or coca leaves, nor do they own the manufacturing systems that refine narcotics into a usable product. Blacks don’t even own the factories that make the tiny little baggies or the vials that couldn’t hold anything usable but drugs. Blacks are the last stop on the chain and it ain’t like white isn’t counting every single ounce. You ever see the ledgers they maintained during the Atlantic Ocean chattel trade? White knew exactly how many niggers he was getting for a barrel of rum and several canes of sugar.

2) Staging a Civil War re-enactment with live weapons and ammunition. Who knew T.I. was such a history buff? It could be that he was just putting together a high school production of the battle at Shiloh with some Gwinnett County teenagers and instead of using those crappy old muskets from the 1800’s he decided to give the production an updated feel with assault rifles and handguns equipped with silencers. Instead of arresting dude people should be giving him credit for pursuing a realistic angle in this re-enactment. Kids should be given real firearms if you are going to teach them how to pose for pictures pointing the guns at the camera and scowling.

3) Arming the Ugandan rebels in order to overthrow the dictatorial regime in that African nation. The higher purpose that T.I. had for buying all those firearms was really to spread democracy throughout Africa. After watching the Leonardo DiCaprio movie ‘Blood Diamond’ T.I. was inspired to help the Ugandans and Sudanese and the Eritreans obtain their independence from foreign oil or some shit like that. Listen, I don’t know nor do I give a fuck about that shit that is going on in Africa, but maybe T.I. does so don’t hate the man for trying to reconnect with his African brothers.

4) T.I. was just keeping his shit extra Hip-Hop and ordered all those guns from XXL magazine owner Harris Publications related websites.

5) T.I. needs all those guns to defend his bowtie collection. In the latest Complex magazine T.I. admitted to spending over a million dollars a year on clothing including 100K annually on handmade silk bowties. Don’t hate T.I.’s southern dandy steez. Blame it on Tip. Take that Fonsworth Bentley.

I can’t imagine any other reason that an entertainer would need to be purchasing military class assault rifles equipped with silencers, but I sure am happy I didn’t review his trainwreck of an album this summer. If I had I would definitely be watching my back.

BTW, all cRap Music Fantasy League label owners with T.I. net a cool 300 points for his arrest as opposed to only 100 points for his appearance on the B.E.T. Hip-Hop awards show. Whack entertainment network stays losing.

Viacom Networks: Hip-Hop 4 Sale…

Wednesday, October 10th, 2007

hhh

Blame me for telling y’all to watch this year’s annual Hip-Hop Honors awards. Viacom and their network of programs spends the entire year shitting on African Americans through their promotion of imagery that is depraved and dysfunctional, and then for one day, and for only TWO fucking hours they act like they give a fuck about the artform that is the soundscape and the portfolio to my life. Ne, our lives.

Sue me, because I admit to drinking the Kool-Aid.

kool aid

Everything is back to business as usual a day after their broadcast of the Hip-Hop Honors awards. The proof of that is how Viacom has directed YouTube to pull down all videos that reference the Hip-Hop Honors awards. RAFI, CAZ and I are reconsidering where we will publish our longform video of the event. If YouTube is too bitchmade to keep Viacom off their back maybe we need to find an outlet that still has our rebel spirit, even if it doesn’t have the reach or cache that YouTuube does.

Whoever works at Viacom should be busy leaping from 1515 Broadway or hanging themselves from the toilets in the employee bathrooms. They obviously serve no function at that outlet except to push the network back into the old millenium before the internets. Their constant attacks on YouTube are self-defeating to their programming. YouTube is totally free publicity. It doesn’t make their programming obsolete, but instead makes it worth viewing in a televised format. The people installed at Viacom are those of the simplest minds.

Notice the image above I took of the t-shirts for sale at the Hip-Hop Honors awards. It was a an executive at Viacom who thought it would be a good idea to sell these shirts during the show. That’s the type of small money brains that exist in Viacom. There’s no one that has any long range view and that is why they don’t understand the internets. If they can’t put it on a t-shirt then they don’t know where to put it.

Memo to Viacom… Let me tell you where to put it.

Fuck you Viacom. Unless you are creating a 401k for Grandmaster Caz or generating some health insurance for Phife Diggy then you are the reason that Hip-Hop is dead. All you are doing is broadcasting a glorified funeral.

cRap Music Fantasy League – Q4 Kickoff

Wednesday, October 10th, 2007

lil wang

Guess who got locked up in a town called Boise [ll]

Here it is! Bam! And you say gotdamn, this is the dope jam. It’s time to get the cRap Music Fantasy League up and running for the Q4 bitches. I expect this quarter to be a free for all with no clear MVP in sight. Nope, not even the Jiggaman is a prohibitive favorite for this round. It’s anybody’s guess and even a girl can win this shit. Here’s a look at the Dunks we sent to the Q3 winner – Gain Green Records.

dunkesto

And this quarter could be your chance to come out on top as the number record label in cRap Music. Now that all the labels who qualified have been placed on the spreadsheet along with their respective artists let’s take a look at who is who for the final round of 2007.

329 Music
All Starz Entertainment
America Done Fell Off Records
ASE Records
Bang 2 Dis Entertainment
Barely Literate Entertainment
Beat Break Records
Berries & Cream Records
BLZ Records
Bodega Inc
Bottlenecks Records
Brick Productions
Candyland Records
Combat Jack Records
County Of Kings Records
CRap-A-lot Records
Death On Arrival Records
Detroit In Dis Bitch Records
DubbleUp Entertainment
Fantasy Records
Fuckin Sellout Records
Funk Town Records
Gain Green Records
Gunshine State Music
Incilin Productions
Jesus Slap Boxers
Know The Limit Records
Krack Ko Kaine Entertainment
MIP Records
Media Whore Records
Mental Calisthenics
New Black Money Records
North Star Records
NYC Records
Open Cannister Recordz
Pretty Dollar Entertainment
SayDatNuccaName Wreckids
Six Feet Deep Promotions
Solutions Global Media
Talent Show Entertainment
The Block Is Hot Music Group
The Nappy Ram Affiliates
Vagina Crusher Records
WDISL Records
WindBreaker Records
WTF Records
Yes Baby Yes Entertainment

Some of the trends I’ve noticed for this quarter…

Almost everyone selected Jay-Z and Lil’ Wang. That’s fine and well if Lil’ Wang is going to get himself arrested all the way until January, but this game turns on the performances of the artists least selected. R Kelly is ALWAYS a point scorer. I think Fisty Scent could be a major factor this quarter and don’t forget about Ye’ Tudda either.

For the most part all the labels are strong and it will be up to one of the dark horse artists to do something that only the folks involved in cRap Music could appreciate. I thought I would ask some of the cRappers to give you guys pointers on how to come up in the game.

kanyizzle ‘YE TUDDA says…
“Closed mouths never eat!”

If you think an artist on your roster has done something worthy of cRap Music Fantasy League points then leave a comment in a cMFL thread or send an e-mail.


VH-1 Has Made B.E.T. Irrelevant…

Sunday, September 30th, 2007

hip hop honors

For one week a year VH-1 earnestly goes in and represents for Hip-Hop better than any media outlet evar. They make Black Entertainment Television’s programming look so damn amatuerish and irrelevant. I’m not saying that B.E.T. should be the network that exclusively broadcasts Hip-Hop related content, but B.E.T. shouldn’t get outclassed to the level that VH-1 does it to them.

This year is unfortunately no different for Whack Entertainment Television as VH-1 gears up for their annual broadcast of the Hip-Hop Honors Awards. I could prah’lee go in on why this show needs a shapeup as well, but for what it represents it is still the most important block of programming on television. VH-1 takes over the game this week though by rolling out a string of reality shows and documentaries focusing on Hip-Hop’s past, present and future.

If you work at Whack Entertainment Television and you haven’t given your resume yet to to Viacom’s VH-1 human resource department you better brush up on your gospel music because that is the only thing y’all will be broadcasting come next year. That and videos of ‘Chocolate Rain’ by TAY ZONDAY. B.E.T. please kill yourself.

‘BRIDGING THE GAP’
Ep.1 featuring QUEEN LATIFAH & EVE
Ep.2 featuring SNOOP DOGG & THE GAME
Monday October 1st 11pm

‘Bridging The Gap’ documents what happens when two established artists come together to explore their shared musical passions. In each half-hour episode, two artists who share a mutual admiration and respect for the other will share a day, discussing their lives while creating a new track produced by one of today’s hottest producers. Queen Latifah and Eve are featured in the premiere, while The Game and Snoop Dogg collaborate in the second episode at 11:30pm
Editor’s note: The first episode sounds like some feel good shit for the ladies. Let’s see if Latifah advises Eve on how to get it done in Tinseltown. Speaking of Hollywood Snoop and Gayme are some of Hollyhood’s best cRap-tors. They need someone to teach them how to stay out of prison.

‘VH1 ROCK DOCS: FADE TO BLACK’
Wednesday October 3rd, 8:30pm

Shawn Carter (Jay-Z) has been one of the most influential figures in black American music since the mid-nineties. “Fade To Black” reveals the multiple Grammy Award winning artist as never before, from his background and rise to fame to the recording of his last album. The film chronicles his legendary concert at Madison Square Garden in November 2003 that featured guest performances by Beyoncé, Mary J. Blige, Missy Elliott, R. Kelly, Foxy Brown, Pharrell, and Questlove and The Illadelphonics along with appearances by hip hop icons Damon Dash, Rick Rubin, Slick Rick, P. Diddy and many others. Viewers get the rare glimpse into Jay-Z’s creative process as he searches for inspiration, poetry, and perfection in his songs. Narrated by Jay-Z himself, his account of the night takes on reflections of his entire musical career and his journey that led to this one astounding, fabled evening–rightfully called “Fade To Black.”
Editor’s note: The JiggaMan hype machine is gearing up. Yawwwwwn.

‘CLASSIC ALBUMS: JAY-Z – REASONABLE DOUBT’
Wednesday October 3rd, 11pm

VH1’s latest addition to the “Classic Albums” franchise takes us back through the whole creative process behind Jay-Z’s stunning first release “Reasonable Doubt.” Initially as a performer racking up an incredibly successful string of hit singles and albums and later as an executive, having taken on the presidency of Def Jam Records in 2004. “Reasonable Doubt” is still considered by many to be his finest achievement. A much harder hitting and edgy record than his later more polished and pop orientated releases, it announced to the world that a new rap star had arrived.
Editor’s note: ‘Reasonable Doubt’ is a great album as a piece of entertainment, but when media outlets continue to tout this album as a biblical account of his personal life it only serves to trivialize and further disenfranchise the families who were actually decimated from substance abuse. One day the people inside of the ghetto will file class action lawsuits against all the rappers who claim to have been former drug dealers. Until them I suppose I will have to suffer the veracity of this hustler’s homage.

‘VH1 HIP HOP HONORS’
Monday October 8th, 10pm

Once again, VH-1 honors the hip hop pioneers and legends that have made significant contributions to all aspects of pop culture with the fourth annual ‘VH-1 Hip Hop Honors’. Hosted by Tracy Morgan, this year’s honorees include A Tribe Called Quest, Snoop Dogg, WHODINI, Missy Elliott, the film Wild Style and Teddy Riley and Andre Harrell for New Jack Swing. The music and influence of each of the honorees will be recognized through performances by classic artists in collaboration with today’s hottest new talent. The honorees are set to take the stage and showcase their legendary talent, along with Ciara, Eve, Pharrell Williams, T.I., Timbaland, Bow Wow, Busta Rhymes, Common, T-Pain, Keyshia Cole, Nick Cannon, Nelly Furtado, Ne-Yo, KRS-One, Jermaine Dupri, Grandmaster Caz, Nelly, Mos Def, Kool Moe Dee, Grand Wizzard Theodore and The Chief Rocker Busy Bee as well as appearances by Chris Rock, Harvey Keitel, LL Cool J, Salt -N- Pepa, Kerry Washington and Diddy.
Editor’s note: The iNternets Celebrities are trying to score some red carpet access to this event. Stay tuned for more info.