Thumbs up to RAFI for catching Foxy in a good mood.
Right now I could really use an intern on my team that was willing to write an encouraging letter to Fox Boogie Brown. Shorty might be held down for a minute in order to get her mind right. She could definitely use the encouragement and support.
The Jena 6 need a whole lot more than just some scribble on a sheet of loose leaf. Them fools need the great Black god in the sky to come down on a spaceship and take them away to a better place. It’s obscene that the Black Code is still in effect after all that good work that WILL SMITH, CUBA GOODING Jr. and MORGAN FREEMAN have put in to help white get their shit together.
It looks like the iNTERNETS CELEBRITIES are going to go in hard on the Jena 6 story. We may even possibly hitchhike to Louisiana or go on a fast food strike. Hitchhiking seems more likely. Stay tuned and if anyone out there has ever been in love with Foxy and you want to get word to her just drop me an e-mail so we can get this shit on and popping.
This drop is for all of the cRap Music Fantasy League entertainment executives and for those of you scoring from home. I decided to run a periodic update on the overall scores of the two most anticipated artists to release albums this quarter (hopefully). As we get closer and closer to the projected release date I thought we could take a look at how these artists were doing for the labels that selected them.
FISTY SCENT is like a well oiled publicity machine, actually he IS a well oiled publicity machine (nullus, no johnnycakes, no LUTHER’s moisturizer bottle, *pause*, [ll], and whatever else you use to remove cooties). FISTY is starting to heat up now, by making televsion show appearances and insulting any rapper that will take him seriously.
‘YE TUDDA has had the mixtape of the summer and this led nicely into the release of the Common album although points have been slow to pick up. The Louis Vuitton Don is nominated for several MTV video music awards so his points can’t be far away. This one looks like it’s going down to the wire.
Editor’s note: With the help of the Oh Word designed OHHLA database, 40 Dawg submits the lyrics from what is arguably the greatest rap song in the history of microphone recordings.
Rock The Bells (1986)
Rumor has it that you’re tired of my scratchin’ and drums
And of couse I wanna expand to the maximum
So I inject in one more element to that of L.L.
Came up with something’ funky called Rock the Bells
During this episode vocally I explode
My title is the king of the FM mode
See, my volume expands to consume
And my structures emote a lyrical heirloom
Vocally pulsating, I initiate gyrating
Ya must respond to my bells, there’s no waiting
For the duration, there’s no articulation
Receiving ovation for the bell association
The vocalization techniques I employ
The voice of my shadow could take a toy boy
The injection of bells into this beat
The result-enough evergy to amputate your feet
Greater insulator microphone dominator
My name is Cool J, manipulator innovator
Connoisseur, I’m sure my percussion will excite
These bells are gonna rock all night
Rock the bells
The bells make your energy escalate
A sort of musical fury L.L. might detonate
Subject matter entitled “The Bells”
The lyrical arrangement is by L.L.
My program strains the tympanic membrane
I’ve been ordained the best believe I’ll flame
Paragraphs I concoct, Cut Creator’s like an organist
Cool J exists as a journalist
I illuminate over any number on the Richter
My throat contracts like a boa constrictor
You’re totally engulfed by the structure and the format
It’s not dormant, it goes to the core, man
As you repain, you’ll say I went
To torture individuals for excitement
Ambassador, the Thane of Cawdor
Dialect so def, it’ll rip up the floor
Ignite and excite with verbal extensions
What I’ll mention will put you on pension
Makin’ you tremble, nothin’ resemble
The bells and if it don’t
I disassemble
hit if you bit
I go have a fit
The master impresario of lyrical wit
A hip-hop creature, concert feature
Amateur teacher, my rhymes reach ya
When I commence with excellence
It eradicates levels of pestilence
Upon a plateau
No mortal can go
Mythological characters stand below
Rock the bells
A B-boy symphony complete with bells
No classical fanatic is parallel
From the design of my lyrics many people call me
An immortalized B-boy prodigy
Eeee a misdemeanor, cleaner women I subpoena
No conjecture in my lecture, name and adversary Gina
Promoter, my tune revolves like rotor
Wild style decoder, the cranium of Yoda
Rehearsing steadily, growing I sing tweeter, mid-range
And woofers need guarding
The bells rip your auditory canal
Plagiarism is suicide for then I shall
Be forced to assault
Our position will halt
Upset you with words
Drink your blood like it’s a malt
Opposite of illusions
Evidently it’s true
The beat metabolism supposed to accelerate you
Hallucinating severe convulsion
Your equilibrium is took from my propolsion
I came here tonight to rock
These bells will never stop
Rock the Bells
Ya livin’ off my lines
Autographs I sign
Inferior fan-recorder of my rhyme
Perfect spectator, well I’m the dominator
You rely and refine, it and you save it for later
Swipe it as you type it
You recite it as you bite it
Then you claim it as your own to get them excited
About it as you shout it
You don’t tell them how go it
And you repeat it and rock it
Multiply it, divide it, ya even sit inside it
It’s L.L.’s rhyme, I know ya wanna bite it
You announce, I pounce, destroy, annihilate
If you break, you’ll be straight when I eliminate
You study lke scholars and you write ’em on your collars
You’ll bomb and you’ll try before a million dollars
I get like a leopard, attack, ransack, disturb, cold crush
Use a line, I make ’em hush
The lovers in the taker, faker, lovers of the Lakers, simulator
Rap traitor,l perfect perpetrator
To see ya as you bit the words
You’d think you never heard
The mike sings like a hummin’ bird
Rock the Bells
Jack the Ripper
King Hercules
Professor of Death in the Seven Seas
Grim reaper of rhyme
Holder of the rock
Eradicating suckers all around the clock
The supreme machine
A microphone dream
My revenge is brutal when you start to scheme
I mean, you’re my adversary, I enjoy the feud
No Peruvian rock, cocaine or quaalude
The story, the beginning of your death is heard
But your cries are ignored by the kind of word
I’m the super insane murderer in the rain
Like a vampire goin’ for your jugular vein
Exterminating crews with my manuscript
And the best thing you wrote was a bunch of bullshit
The night of the nights
You’re my victim tonight
You ain’t nothin’ nobody so get outta any sight
Bein’ crushed by the source
It’s reinforced (thoughts)
Now ya feel remorse ’cause ya know who’s boss
L.L. Cool J is your undertaker
Def hit-maker plus a bone-breaker
Treble terminator, bass mutilator
You can drop your drawers, I’m a rapper castrator
On the microphone you will never recoup
When I’m finished with you, boy, you’ll be suckin’ on soup
Music virtuoso, melodical employer
I knew you was a sucker, first time I saw ya
Roll the red carpet, royalty’s arrived
Don’t try to fight back ’cause you won’t survive
So don’t never ever in any kind of weather
Try to mess with the tall young legend in leather
L.L. servin’ ’em well
The beat elevates and the scratch excels
Rock the Bells
Would somebody please do an intervention for this chick!?! Foxy Brown is going to be the Notorious MVP for the inaugural year of the cRap Music Fantasy League. Homegirl gets her points every quarter without even releasing any music. Jay-Z does too, but damn, at least he still figuratively works in the music industry. Foxy hasn’t done shit in the last five years, but she is spending money like she owns the publishing for ‘Ain’t No Nigga’. Maybe Jigga has her in the will too, right after Bleek? Prah’lee not tho’. At the rate Foxy is going she will be recording her Brooklyn anthem duets from the jailhouse studios with Shyne.
R. KELLZ was the beast on the scoring charts this week. His ‘Trapped In The Closet’ Hip-Hopera is just part of the talented genius mystique of this narcissistic weirdo. There’s a reason that R. KELLY is a blue-chipper in the cMFL and niggas like T-Pain barely get off the bench. KELLY even freaks a song on his album using the voice modulator that Akon, T-Pain and just about every other bootlegg R & B singer uses nowadays. That boys got talent. But of course… Nullus always and forever to anything R. KELLY.
The cRap Music Fantasy League leaderboard has gotten shuffled a little bit too. Pretty Dollar Entertainment was bum rushed for their top spot on the list. A few other labels came up in the game thanks to Foxy’s follies and KELLZ craziness. Let’s see who’s on top of the game now…
Gain Green Records 2975 Grand Theft Audio Records 2925 DubbleUP Entertainment 2625 Pretty Dollar Entertainment 2500 Krack Ko Kaine Entertainment 2475 America Done Fell Off Records 2475 Rainmen Records 2325 Rook Records 2200 Brick Productions 2150 Blue & Creme Entertainment 2025 20/20 Proof Records 2025 Bamboozled Records 1975 Smart-Dumb Rappers Records 1975 Ambulance Entertainment 1925 Sheem-Deem Entertainment 1900 Harleyworld Music 1650 Incilin Productions 1550 GnomesayinTambout 1550 Deaf Jam Records 1525 Cool Cash Collective 1475 BlackStar Records 1475 Game One Records 1450 Diamond Ballers Records 1450 Flatline Records 1400 Combat Jack Entertainment 1400
Gain Green Records jumps into the leader slot with Grand Theft Audio Records directly behind them. Dubble Up and Pretty Dollar Ent. are right there at the top as well. There is still almost another half of cRap Music Fantasy league still to be played with September shaping up to be a battle royal for the MVP of Q3.
In the meantime and in between time take a peek at some of the graphic information that El Gringo Colombiano has put together for us to analyze some of the trends in cRap Music. The graph below represents how the points have been distributed through the league according to an artists home region. The NorthEast is illustrated in green because we GET MONEY, and money we got. The South is orange for the Fireman Lil’ Wang, who still has yet to get warmed up this quarter. The MidWest is purple for KanYe and KELLZ.
The West is tied at 100 points with the International Division. Damn Westsiiiiiide! Y’all niggas is tied up with that chick from Sri Lanka M.I.A.?!? Get your weight up West coast. Can’t y’all get Snoop arrested or something?