Archive for the ‘Fashion Faux Pas’ Category

SNEAKER FIENDS UNITE!

Thursday, July 10th, 2008

running man

Since I am on a futuristic kick this week I figured why not talk about some futuristic kicks. As usual, the swoosh brand is the leader of the pack with a Quickstrike release of Air Max called The Running Man pack.

Twenty years ago the movie ‘The Running Man’ described a futuristic dystopia where contestants of a highly rated game show had to run for their lives to escape the grasp of bloodthirsty executioners called “hunters”.

running man

You might do a good job of running with a pair of these funky Air Max 90 on your feet. NIKE collaborated with a few streetwear designers to come up with these crazy colorways. Trust me, these look waaaay better in person.

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running man

The colorway of these Air Max 95 appears to have been inspired by the corporate chump mockneck look of JESSE VENTURA. The Air Max 95 is one of NIKE’s supremely iconographic designs. The details I like on these shoes are the the use of textile materials, Kevlar I believe, on the mudguard. The clear gum outsole is a nice touch on a subtle note. These joints here are straight flavor for your instep.

running man

running man

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THE NEW CLASSICS…

Wednesday, July 9th, 2008

lo life

Ever since the legendary 1992 series of knits and rugby jerseys (stadium status) was issued I always check hard for Polo Ralph Lauren offerings during suummer Olympics years. There are a few pieces that have caught my attention so far. I need another stitch of clothing like I need a hole in my head, but I can’t help myself when I see that flavorful ish. What more can I say? I’m an addict.

lo life

These polo knits have been gaining in popularity and I represent the black red colorway in my attire often.

lo life

The key to appreciating Polo Ralph Lauren clothing is in recognizing the details. This knit has grommeted weepholes under the arms on some real sailing gear type steez. The red blue colorway is also classic stadium status.

lo life

I’m feeling this rugby jersey for the front pockets. I might have to check out Syms to see if this joint is floating around on the discount circuit.

lo life

lo life

Classic Polo Ralp Lauren flavor, and a design on the back side to boot. Don’t let me find this shit in Marshall’s. I’m copping two. One to rock and another to put in my freezer, a/k/a on ice.

A Day In The Life With BLU CHEEZ…

Tuesday, July 8th, 2008

blu n billy

BLU CHEEZ is like my best friend in the whole world. He likes to sport the lifestyle along with me. I think that is how we connected as friends through our mutual love for ‘Lo gear.

blu n billy

This is BLU CHEEZ on his way to work in the city.

Don’t ask me what he does.

blu n billy

Would you believe that this was a total coincidence?

Okay, true story, BLU CHEEZ swagger jacks my steez sometimes.

blu n billy

BLU CHEEZ at a computer.

PrA’li downloading interracial pr0n pictures.

blu n billy

BLU CHEEZ is a true New Yorker.

He sits on the benches where homeless people sleep.

blu n billy

The commute home for BLU CHEEZ is easy money.

You can always get a seat after the train stops at Borough Hall.

blu n billy

BLU CHEEZ stays on that model shit.

What The Hell Elle Cool Ghey?!?

Monday, July 7th, 2008

ll

Stop playing!

Everyone here knows that Men’s Health magazine is even gheyer than Black Inches.

Pause to me even knowing the name of that magazine.

I once had a subscription to Men’s Health, but after I received my first issue I threw that shit in the garbage more determined to remain fat and subsequently hetero normal. There’s way too many nekkid men pictures in that mag. At some point you have to realize that the publisher is about to have you turn the page to see some dude whacking himself, or worse, his “spotter”. I don’t even look at dicks when I am enjoying my pr0n. Why the hell should I look at them when I am reading a magazine to find out which vegetables are high in potassium?

I’m pretty sure LL realized that his audience is now mostly men. All the chicks that came up when he was making hits like ‘I Need Love’ and ‘Around The Way Girl’ have all been married off. Chances are that any women still listening to commercial rap now are most likely dykey lesbians anyhoo. Who else would enjoy listening to the tales of women being humiliated? I don’t know, but I do know that LL is on the cover of a homo mag.

Aww ish, they even made a web video for this shit.

I don’t just say this because I am obese and poorly groomed either. LL could have made this same pose on the cover of Jet and I wouldn’t have said a damn thing. Ebony too. As a matter of fact, isn’t Ebony running a feature this month on the 25 coolest niggas Black men of all time? Don’t tell me LL didn’t make the cut? For crissakes, this nigga’s name IS cool!?!

This is some shit I would have expected that fruitsach WILL SMITH to try and get off. That fag even stars in a movie called ‘Handcock’. [ll] to the fact that I saw that movie this past weekend. Both of these dudes are definetly flambĂ© though. Lightskinned dudes with no mustaches is supremely suspect. Steer clear of that shit if you can. There should be pictures somewhere of these dicks wearing wigs and with heels on. Those are the games that Hollywood plays. That is why I will stay fat and subsequently broke.

Yeah anyhoo, that is a way ghey magazine cover.

Is all I’m saying.

Mag cover swag jacked from BOSSIP.COM
Video link heisted from NAHRIGHT.COM

WIG OWNERS > WIG BRUSHERS: Big Hair Bands…

Monday, July 7th, 2008

prince

When the majority of folks think of rock music and hair bands their minds turn to groups like Whitesnake, Poison or Def Leppard. No one really considers that one of rock music’s greatest Wig Owners of all time is actually Prince. You can’t tell me that Prince doesn’t play rock music. And you certainly can’t argue that Prince doesn’t own hell’a wigs either.

Thanks to the magic of YouTube we can reminisce today on all of the great Wig Brushers that have become owners themselves under the tutelage of Prince.

Morris Day and The Time

time

The Time was the gold standard for Wig Brushers. These brothers threads were so mean and their basslines were so focused. The band’s percussionist (read: weedcarrier) even sported a bald head so you know he had to be thorough when it came time to get his brush on. A few years ago I saw the Time perform at the Brooklyn Academy of Music in honor of the 20th anniversary of the film ‘Purple Rain’. The band was still tight as fuck and Morris Day’s doo was fried, dyed and laid to the side, but the entire audience lost their shit when Jerome pulled out the mirror.

BTW, Jerome = one of the greatest Wig Brushers of all time.

* BONUS BEATS * BONUS BEATS * BONUS BEATS *

Only a group as awesome as the Time could have inspired this fantastically awful karaoke perfomance.

This is how that song should have sounded…

‘Fishnet’

Alexander O’Neal

alexander o'neal

Alexander O’Neal definitely had the chops to sing but I don’t think he had the temperament to brush wigs properly so Prince ended up taking back his wigs. O’Neal would still manage to get a wig with some help from other members of the Time. Peep the video for the classic jam ‘Fake’. You can see that O’Neal wasn’t too adept at keeping his own wig straight.


Mazarati

mazarati

How could these fools NOT be a hair band? Their album cover lets you know from the gate what they are coming into the game as. Prince’s OG wig brushing homey Brown Mark formed this group and they managed to crank out a couple of hits, notably ‘100 MPH’ and ‘Player’s Ball’.


Klymaxx

klymaxx

Everyone knows that Appolonia 6 and Vanity 6 were Prince’s wig brushing ladies, but Klymaxx was an all girls band produced by former Wig Brushers turned Wig Owners Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis. Klymaxx dropped several hits like the classic slow jam ‘I Miss U’ and ‘Meeting In The Ladies Room’. Klymaxx was fierce for real. Think of them as the female version of the Time. As chauvinistic as Morris Day was is as sassy as Bernadette Cooper gould get. Her ad libs are ridiculous. I give these ladies the most credit however for having the prescience to create their futuristic “No Homo” anthem titled ‘The Men All Pause’. [ll].


‘The Men All Pause’


‘Meeting In The Ladies Room’

*Universal Music disabled the embed codes for these broads videos. Wig Brushers be having a hard time recouping. Heaven forbid some people might actually get to see these videos that were produced. I found a low quality joint though. Eff it, let’s rock.

CAMEO

cameo

Seriously speaking, how could these negroes NOT go down as one of the all time great hair bands?!? These fools have a hairstyle named AFTER them. Show me a band called the Mullets!?! True story is that CAMEO were official Wig Owners. There was even dance called the Cameo Slide. These brothers were trendsetters in music and fashion. Thank GOD that the thighboots and the candy apple red codpiece never caught on. Word up to that.


‘Back And Forth’


‘Attack Me With Your Love’ (LP version)