In only their fourth year of putting shit down as a festival the AfroPunk movement has emerged as the premier Brooklyn based music, films and arts festival. This is prA’li due to the AfroPunk organizers being part of the community they promote themselves to. Other music festivals in Brooklyn seem to just appear when it is convenient for them instead of maintaining their community ties all year around.
Let’s be clear, the Afro Punk festival doesn’t get as crowded as say, the Brooklyn Hip-Hop Festival, but the Afro Punk festival is over a week long of events featuring cutting edge bands and filmmakers that are up and coming, as opposed to a single day event featuring dinosaur boom bap rappers that you saw perform for free last summer. Suffice to say it, I am fucking with the Afro Punk festival this summer. Hardbody.
When I fell through the festival yesterday at the Brooklyn Academy of Music they had the skate ramps on and popping. I couldn’t get too close to the stage so my pics of JANELLE MONAE are more artsy than accurate. What they do describe is the energy that homegirl brought to the stage. She was dope.
Go to AfroPunk dot com to peep the calendar of performances scheduled for this week. My pick hits are the main stage on Wednesday and the Afro Punk Block Party on Sunday 7/13.
This is gonna hurt some of y’all feelings, but this is the ‘Tough Love MONTEL WILLIAMS’ part of the DP Dot Com show. This shit is written only to describe a part of my life that I have decided to alter. If you can relate to the knowledge I drop then get in where you fit in.
I just touched down from my vacay in St. Maarten. Ma Dukes is in town now too. She is a little bent out of shape because he flight from the ‘A’ was diverted into Pittsburgh for an undisclosed three hour layover. WTF gives? Airlines are madd bootlegg right now. C.S. and I had a mini 60 minute delay inside the customs area waiting for our check-in luggage. I normally don’t have any heck-in items but I can blame my vanity this time. I did bring the jumbo size bottle of SPF -30 cooking, er, tanning oil for the trip. Checking in items on any airline except British Airways = fugazi.
So Dukes is sick with me because I put her up in a hotel instead of in my apartment on Long Island. First off, I am considering the maneuvers she is making in the fam’s former stomping grounds – Queens stand up. So it’s not like I haven’t taken thought to her ease of movement. My kid brother’s baby mamas (3×3) all come from the literally the same neighborhood (Jackson Heights – East Elmhurst). My dad is interred in Queens close by. My mom’s sisters are all within earshot as well.
My mom is only focused on cleaning out the hotdamned storage unit in Hempstead. Finally she is ready to throw this shit out. It’s been time to do that shit. I said that shit years ago. When my dad convinced me to throw out the stuff I kept in the garage he did so by saying that I kept too much bullshit. He was right too. I had ridiculous dumb shit in the garage from all my years alone. I threw away my entire cassette collection. I only kept three tapes. Wu-Tang’s ‘Enter the 36’, the Purple Tape and O.D.B.’s first joint. Funny story, true story is that someone put the CNN album in the case because when I found these tapes in a box a little while ago that was the deal. Shit like that always happened at my bachelor pad. It was the quintessential jumpoff spot where you were always welcomed if you had an elle or a 40 oz. Niggas thought that allowed them to leave with something. A Tribe Called Quest debut album was stolen from me so many times I never bought another ATCQ album until ‘The Love Movement’. I just stole other people’s ATCQ cassettes.
So boom, my dad’s point was anything you have in storage is pwning you more than you are owning it. Shit is occupying space that you could otherwise put some shit you use or has a greater value. I shouldn’t have let my dad make me believe the shit I was hoarding had no value. If you look at the classic (photoshopped?) picture of Biggie and 2Pac hanging out together it was taken at the Bad Boy label launch party. The poster in the background is Puffy’s kid Justin in a diaper. The party was at the Tunnel and I remember it well because it was a top-shelf obama and I took about 30 of those posters.
I didn’t have a thing for kids in diapers like ROBERT SYLVESTER, but I thought it would be a slick idea to have one wall of my bachelor pad plastered in placards. I had some sick shit hanging around my crib that I mostly came up on from my garbage digging tendencies. I went through the garbage onetime at Tower Records and came up on a 72″ mylar promo poster for LL Cool J’s ‘Mama Said Knock You Out’ single. Posters were also cool because then I didn’t have to paint. When I moved back into my parent’s house all this stuff was transferred into my parent’s garage and my dad saw it as a load of shit. The main reason I got on eBay eight years ago was so that I at least made a few bucks from all the shit I accumulated instead of just putting them in a dumpster.
I put my mom in a hotel for another reason. My apartment looks like a storage warehouse. You’ve seen the pictures. Shoeboxes fill the wallspaces that don’t have framed art hanging on them (read: everywhere). Shit is in various stages of coming or going. Neatly ordered, but still everywhere.
Sometimes I feel like my apartment is a curious experiment in the exercise of having too much of nothing.
-D motherfuckin’ P
So this is my challenge to myself for the remainder of the summer. I intend to complete over 101 eBay transactions up until Columbus Day weekend. Shit is on like a motherfucker. Maybe after Columbus Day I can let my mom stay at my crib. This storage shit is bullshit and vain. Anyhoo, I’m tired as fuck and rambling and cursing incoherently. Get rid of your storage rooms party people. If you really need to store some shit then do it, but don’t keep a storage locker filled with bullshit magazines, CD’s(fuck around, VHS tapes) and old clothes unless you plan on opening up a newsstand, that reruns old movies inside of a vintage clothing store.
Right now I am somewhere really warm and sunny, touching my lady where the sun doesn’t shine.
I brought my Blacbook just in case we get a wireless signal out here, but in case we don’t you can still do well for yourself by falling through some of these sites…
Rap music is firmly entrenched as pop music now. And just like everything else in the popular culture universe, from reality shows to daytime television, the world turns on a soap opera.
The Fisty Scent saga with his weedcarriers is never ending. When is Lloyd Banks going to get into the act? Between Tony Gheyo pimp smacking children to an actual woman named Shaniqua burning down houses and now a confused Young Bucktooth, Fisty Scent doesn’t even need to release a record to be an entertainment powerhouse. Why isn’t there a reality show on t.v. now following him around. We would get to see firsthand exactly how close Gheyo keeps it [ll].
The Young Bucktooth reply almost flew up as fast as the taped phone call too. Damn, the internets doesn’t wait a fucking minute. This shit ain’t like the old days when we would have to wait months to get a reply on vinyl. I just read a news article that said that vinyl sales were on the rise. Who the fuck is buying records now? I mean who has a record player anyhoo. I know who is buying CD’s though. Thirteen year old white girls a/k/a the Miley Cyrus Soulja Boy demographic. Generation P for puberty. P is also what R. Kelly likes to do to these chicks.
Lil’ Wang is about to do Milli Vanilli Ice numbers with the ‘Carter III’. I’m not surprised either since that album does have the new millenium ‘Macarena’ on it. I went through a week of hearing ‘Lollipop’ in so many different places I just had to laugh. Baseball stadiums are using it to warm up crowds. Never mind the lyrics of the song. Its not like he’s telling people to ‘Superman that ho’. That is also pop music’s greatest advantage. It can take anything decent and innocuous and transform it into something ribald and inane.
Lil’ Wang and Young Bucktooth are going to be the crap music stories of the summer. Fuck that new NaS album. I was waiting on the Gayme’s latest album as well, but it looks like Fisty Scent is going to drown out dude’s voice with all of his shenanigans. The new G-Unit album wasn’t even high on list of shit to fuck with despite the few tracks I had already heard having some fire to them. Now I wanna listen to that album just to see if Fisty admits to burning down his house. Rap dudes stay telling on themselves.
What do you think is next for Kanghey? I can’t imagine that dude to just sit still and let all these cats get headlines while he only gets bylines. This crap shit is hee fucking larious. I can’t forget about the little general T.I. either. Or drunk ass Jeezy. I’m glad school is out so I can just fucks with crap music and all of its characters. The south stays losing though. No matter how many records Lil’ Wang sells.
‘A Milli’ (The FREE Mix) *safe for work although you will become a little dumber after listening
I gotta come home tonight straight from the day job. I’m sick right now. When I was younger I could go in for an entire week. Nowadays I am usually undone by my first night, fuck a second consecutive night of obamas.
Check this site out called The Minority Report. That’s my homey AL DEEZY. He’ll plug you to all that shit that is young, fresh and clean. AL listed this obama at a sneaker store in SoHo called Premium Laces. Since I have never been there i thought I would fall through and see what the scene was like. Plus it was an obama. By the time I left my office I knew there would only be an hour or so left of the party. I got there just in time to tap off the last cup of Skyy vodka and cranberry juice.
The party was for the launch of some line of t-shirts. Yawn. If you are dreaming about starting a clothing line please set yourself on fire while you are asleep. The world does not need anymore printed t-shirts. BTW, if you are looking for some cheap tees I just copped some Polo Ralph Lauren joints at Syms for $10 cent apiece. ‘Nuff said. That spot was dead so I motivated along Spring Street to the westside to catch the Eighth Avenue line to the moviehouse. As I ambled along Spring Street I laughed at the Black kids on skateboards. The old man in me called them “cliché ass niggas”. I secretly wished I could still ride a skateboard.
The skate dudes went into the Von Dutch store and I heard loud music playing there definitely from a DJ setup. I walked past sonn with the list because y’all already know and through the door to see another obama in full swing with better looking people than the first one and no shortage of liquor either. The free hooch in this spot was called T2. It was a tequila with taurine (yipes!) from Holland. This must be the shit that they give you in Amsterdam to get you all fucked the fuck up so that they can cut out your pancreas and leave you bled the fuck up in a back alley.
Who came up with the idea to mix tequila with taurine, AND caffeine to boot? Is that shit even legal? I stole a bottle. Whoever is having a barbecue in NYC and invites me will get to taste this wild shit. I’m mixing in $2 worth of fresh limes with two quarts of PAUL NEWMAN’s Limeade and this T2 shit. I’m sure that furniture will be broken after we’re done. Oh shit, before I forget, my good friend ANITA BRYANT was up in this piece. She is part of the Sista Factory collective. Definitely fucks with them if you go in for J*Davey, Ledisi, RES and any sisters that do that smoothed out R & B.
Me and ANITA both noticed that there were clearly too many kids inside of the store drinking that T2 when they were only old enough for Tang. Damn you Von Dutch. This is what happens when a clothing company is washed up. They resort to plying kids with alcohol. I wonder what the inventory shrink will be like at the end of the night? Who the fuck cares? Von Dutch is only for 13yr old suburban chicks with Swarovski stones on their cell phones. I kept my shit moving with my bottle in my back pocket. Copped a slice from Famous Ben’s. I’m winning…
I almost gave away mye green variant Marvel Legends Hulk. I was just gonna mail it out to someone like eff it. I’m glad I kept it now. I mailed the Marvel Legends Colossus to my nigga from Start Snitching and instead of saying thanks that nigga was like “how much is Marvel paying you to give these out?” WTF?!? This is why I don’t fucks with Black people. Just white, and an occasional asian motherfucker. Start Snitching is still my peoples tho’. The Marvel Legends Colossus was going for $60 cent at the last comic con. The only thing about collectibles, and basically anything in general is that shit is only worth what someone is willing to spend on it.
*Still have the Beta Ray Bill / Loki package available if you want to copp*
The Incredible Hulk film was effing church. Combat Jack held back on his assessment. The shit about Hulk is that it wasn’t supposed to be the thrill ride that Iron Man was. The Hulk is on some sensitive, cerebral shit. Sonn is stuck walking around with a monster inside of him that can fuck up a decent wardrobe if shit pops off wrong. The story is about research scientists trying to keep the military from weaponizing their discoveries. The only problem is that the military has their hands in all kinds of shit and they won’t stop, because they can’t stop fucking up shit.
All the actors were sublime and no one was over the top. ROBERT DOWNEY Jr.’s cameo as Tony Stark was a bit extra. Marvel is going so hard right now with these film projects it almost makes the DC brand appear cartoonish even though they are live action. DC’s problem is essentially crafting movies that have a fidelity to the characters and actual storylines. Marvel stays winning because they play close attention to the connection and continuity of their comic books. Think about it, that’s why we were all gathered there in the theater at midnight on a schoolnight in the first place.
If you haven’t seen the new Hulk movie yet go do that this weekend. If you still haven’t seen ‘Iron Man’ yet then go bang your pinky toes with a ball peen hammer. Both of these movies, along with ‘Speed Racer’ have made this season one of the all-time illmatic cinematic summers. We haven’t even gotten to the July releases yet. I’m about to have an effing nerd attack. Best cameo in the Incredible Hulk was LOU FERRIGNO as the pizza loving security guard. STAN LEE’s was cool, but you gotta love big LOU. The audience definitely showed their love. You will too.
ESOTERIC, 7L and TERMANOLOGY – ‘Incredible Hulk Rap’
