Archive for the ‘Fashion Faux Pas’ Category

PRINCE OF THE CITY…

Sunday, June 8th, 2008

prince

Prince ran things in NYC this weekend. To celebrate his fiftieth birthday there were several tributes and parties in his honor. All the nightclubs and speakeasies in Brooklyn were playing his classics. The best moment of the weekend was when DJ SPINNA bust everybody’s asses at the Brooklyn Museum of Art with the extended ‘Let’s Go Crazy’ dance remix.

On Friday CHOCOLATE SNOWFLAKE took me out on a date to see the Black Rock Coalition at the Brooklyn Academy of Music. The BRC is an ensemble of lifelong professional musicians whose aim is to emancipate the African American within the genre of rock music. The Prince covers the BRC played were aiight, but they lacked something in order to make them everlasting.

Later that evening C.S. and I went to see the Brown Girls Burlesque Prince tribute. Brown Girls Burlesque is a dope little movement of ladies who take off their clothes with dignity and swagger. I need y’all to show these ladies some love so that they keep their movement moving. If the Black Rock Coalition were the backing band for Brown Girls Burlesque that would be an incredible show. What both these events were lacking was each other’s energies and talents.

I had forty million things to do on Saturday so I ended up just staying bunkered down in Freeport with the A.C. running. No Puerto Rican Festival on 110th Street, no Helen Marshall sponsored ‘Family Day’ in Elmhurst, no Rooftop Films screening of ‘Checkmate’ on the lower east side.

I left Freeport at 6pm when shit had cooled down a bit. First stop was a rooftop barbeque in Carroll Gardens with GABEROCKKA and crew. GABE and IAN gave me the idea for the Futuristic Breakfast one morning we ended up in a diner after pulling an all-nighter. These dudes go in when it comes to knowing females with the sick pads. I ate some shrimp that had too much Old Bay spice on them, some seedless watermelon and I had a few good beers. GABE always keeps a bottle of that green tea too. Nah’Mean?

Next stop was the Brooklyn Museum of Art. I had been waiting for this First Saturday for weeks. It was one of the biggest and best events the museum has ever thrown. So many people came out. I didn’t bring my camera because I didn’t want to have to work. I just wanted to chill and dance. That’s pretty much what I did too. I have to say peace to everyone that I saw…

SW was in town with his wife and his newborn baby son
GAME REBELLION was in the building
GABEROCKKA
ANITA BRYANT(Sista Factory)
OMAR ELLIS
RYAN(ThinkTank Mktg)
CARL(XXL)
CHAD MILLER(eriffs)
DAOUD(Coup D’etat)
TANYA MORGAN(is a rap band)
FARO-Z

And so many other beautiful people filled the museum. If you weren’t in the place to be kill yourself by climbing inside an old school steel refrigerator and shutting the door. I don’t know when the museum is going to pop like that again. Here’s the extended dance mix for ‘Let’s Go Crazy’

DON’T PLAY YOURSELF!

WONDER FULL – MANHATTAN CENTER – JUNE 14th

Hipster Rap Hot Tracks…

Saturday, June 7th, 2008

hipster

What is hotter right now than hipster rap music?

The Cool Kids, the Knux, Kid Sister and KanYe West have everyone wearing keffiehs and drinking iced cafe lattes. What’s more is that they have removed the focus of rap lyrics away from the themes of streetlife and drug sales depravity.

Unfortunately, the theme of debt has now replaced the depravity. Be careful what you wish for Hip-Hop, because you just might get it. Socially, we couldn’t afford to continue listening to nihilistic rap any longer, and now I listen to narcissistic rap about shit that I can’t afford. Y’all folks certainly don’t want to see my ass in any skinny jeans either. Anything I dropped on the floor would have to stay there or else I would have asscrack in everybody’s eyesockets.

You don’t ever have to worry about me wearing skinny jeans but I love my new wave 1980’s Euro pop music even more than Mr. West does. Am I in danger of becoming a hipster rap fan? If loving music from the 1980’s means that I am a hipster then call me your blipster. Synthesizer technology was complete by 1981 and as I sat in my parent’s basement with my Casio VL keyboard and my Commodore 64 computer I dreamed of being a robot one day. So don’t knock hipster rap music because it will one day lead to robotic rap music which is the harbinger of the rapture.

Check it… I just wanted to play a few songs for you, and its 4am, and I am drunk. Just listen to these tracks sampled from one of the great 1980’s new wave synth jams.


‘Cars’ – Kool G Rap


‘Cars’ – Kirb & Chris


‘Cars’ – GARY NUMAN

* BONUS BEATS * BONUS BEATS * BONUS BEATS *

NaS raids KanYe West’s closet[ll] for his Complex mag photoshoot…

naS

naS

naS

naS

REZIDUE: Lost In The 80’s…

Wednesday, June 4th, 2008

rezidue

Editor’s note: I know that we aren’t deep enough into baseball season to bring out the metaphors yet, but this drop from MAURICE G GARLAND over at Rezidue is a home run. To keep shit basketball we could call it a slam dunk. Enjoy.

With the Lakers and Celtics set to play in the NBA Finals, my suspicions have finally been confirmed. We are officially stuck back into the 80s.

Really though, look at it:

***A George Bush is in the White House.

rezidue

***1980’s Movies are being remade.

Transformers

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Indiana Jones

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G.I. Joe (yes, that is Marlon Wayans)

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***Rappers Sounding and Dressing Like This.

The Cool Kids

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Life The Great

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***Drug Epidemics

rezidue

Seeing that Doug Collins will be coaching the Chicago Bulls again, I’m predicting that the 1980’s rehash will continue. I just hope good shit than bad comes back. Because something tells me when they finally get around to bringing Starter jackets back out, niggas are gonna go back to shooting for them. I also hope they keep mindless gang violence in the closet too, no need to bring that back. Oh yeah, they can also keep Jheri curls. Even though I had a couple pair of “Burger Kings” back in the day, I can’t say I’m hyped about seeing them return either. Nintendo’s (Wii) are back hot again, so that must mean that Atari is about to come back too.

Some of the things I hope to see return are:

$1.50 for gas
.75 cents to ride Marta
Berry Blue Kool Aid
Hawks in the Playoffs Semi-Finals
An influx of Intelligent Rap Music
Me not having to pay bills

What do ya’ll think?

SNEAKER FIENDS UNITE!

Tuesday, June 3rd, 2008

penny

With the NBA Finals upon us I decided to look back at one of the league’s greatest journeymen players. ANFERNEE HARDAWAY was a 6ft. 8in. swingman [ll]. He was selected third overall in the NBA’s 1993 draft, and immediately traded by Golden State to the Orlando Magic for CHRIS WEBBER. It was with the Orlando Magic and alongside teammate SHAQUILLE O’NEAL that ‘PENNY’ HARDAWAY would see the most success in the league.

HARDAWAY was considered a triple threat player on the court because he could pass, shoot, and rebound from three different positions [ll]. PENNY was also a monster in the sneaker game. He has some of the most sought after shoes by sneaker fiend collecting addicts. No pair more valuable than the Foamposite 1 “Pennys”. The OG version has a translucent rubber/silicon outsole that is almost see-thru.

nike penny

As we go back in time, thanks to Google propietary search engineering, the wayback machine finds some of the great NIKE x HARDAWAY collaborations.

PENNY was a high flyer in his first signature shoe. The Air Max Penny I is a smooth and clean shoe. The outsole makes its way onto the shoes upper. The height of the shoes isn’t quite 3/4 either. It’s more like 5/8ths or even 9/16ths if you are using a micrometer. But if you are using a micrometer to read this drop then you have other issues.

penny

nike penny


The Air Max Penny II incorporated a scotch-lite piping strip along the upper. As an aside, I always thought that NIKE placed scotch-lite on their shoes so that people could be spotted in the dark.

penny

nike penny


The Air Max Penny III shows the early signs of the foamposite construction. The futuristic alien surface starts to make its way onto the upper of the sneakers. Its a mean concept to try to wrap around your brain that the best sneakers in the world are NOT worn by the best player. The monies that NIKE committed to the R & D of the Penny line of shoes was insane. Air Jordans are still the most popular athlete branded shoe, but the Penny is the most technologically advanced.

nike penny


The Air Max Penny IV goes back to traditional leathers along with the full 3/4 height boot.

penny

nike penny

MLB’s FACIAL HAIR HALL OF FAME (Unshaven Remix)

Tuesday, June 3rd, 2008

reggie and pops

REGGIE and Pops

I’m excited for the upcoming season of Major League baseball for a bunch of reasons. It’s the sixtieth anniversary of JACKIE ROBINSON’s entrance into the majors, BARRY BONDS will likely become the new all time home run leader, the Mets will pwn the league, and the whole human growth hormone has been silenced ever since it became apparent that the entire league was on it (read: beloved WHITE athletes). I even joined an Internets Celebrities roto league. Looks like good times all around this summer.

This drop was inspired by OSCAR GAMBLE’s favorite website on the internets, Passion Of The Weiss. He had the idea for giving a shout out to MLB’s greatest moustached mavericks and mavens. Don’t act like it was only porn stars that sported the ridiculous facial hair from our youths. Baseball players were the real mutton chop superstars. From LUIS TIANT to MIKE SCHMIDT, seventies baseball was all about crappy polyester uniforms and personal style below the nose.

The Californian teams in the big leagues were certainly the fashion forward leaders in the facial hair movement. The San Diego Padres alone could field an entire squad of facial hair Hall of Fame players. Add in the Angels, the A’s and L.A. and you’ve got yourself a mountain of moustaches. Combine that with some of the greatest afros evar and you are talking about a follicle apex for American culture. When steroids and HGH came into the great American pastime hair would never grow the same. But I’m not into placing asterisks over afros…

Here’s the DP Dot Com list of the facial hair Hall of Famers…

george foster GEORGE FOSTER
By the time he came to the Mets after his years with the Big Red Machine GEORGE’s bat didn’t have the same pop, but hotdamnit his moustache sideburn connection was still on some official ‘grown man in the club’ status.

DOYLE ALEXANDER
Dude needed more than his sideburns to cover those sonar scoops he had for ears.
doyle alexander

cecil cooper CECIL COOPER
I gotta make sure I put one in for LM so he doesn’t retract his sponsorship.

GREG LUZINSKI
Chicago native GREG put in crazy work with the Philadelphia Phillies, but he could still bring it in his Chi-Town uniform when his drunk ass made it to the ballpark. Just like another of Chicago’s favorite sons and longtime DP Dot Commie, P-CITY.
greg luzinski

amos otis AMOS OTIS
This one is para mi amigo grande en la Ciudad de Kansas. AMOS was all about bringing shaft back to baseball.

“Shut Yo’ Mouth!”

I’m just talking about OTIS’ batting skills.


johnny damon

JOHNNY DAMON
“So easy even a caveman could do it”

DAVE WINFIELD
Did y’all cats know that DAVE WINFIELD was drafted by a pro football team despite the fact that he never played a single down in high school or college? And CHARLIE effin’ WARD wins a Heisman but didn’t get a single call. Facial hair = draft day hype.
dave winfield

rollie fingers ROLLIE FINGERS
ROLLIE was without question one of the greatest to ever do it. His Snidely Whiplash moustache should be telling you that much.

OZZIE SMITH
The Wizard of Oz was stylin’ on fools from the moment he came into the league.
ozzie smith

goose gossage GOOSE GOSSAGE
San Diego damn near had the entire facial hair All-Star squad. GOOSE GOSSAGE was just a big ol’ burly country boy who threw fire from his fist. Nothing subtle or sneaky in his repetoire, just fast, and faster.

DAVE PARKER
Can you imagine his gaudy career numbers if big DAVE PARKER had played during the steroids era?
dave parker

steve bedrosian

STEVE BEDROSIAN
STEVE reminds me of MICHAEL McDONALD. Remember that Yacht Rock hit song that STEVE and KENNY LOGGINS made together? Yeah, it seemed like only yesterday…

mike schmidt MIKE SCHMIDT
Show some mother effin’ respect to the Jewfro when you see them on the streets.

BRUCE SUTTER
There’s no relief in sight from the gangsta of homey’s birdnest beard.
bruce sutter

reggie jackson REGGIE JACKSON
The big homey had his own candy bar.

RON CEY
I’d swear that he retired from the Dodgers to do porn with his moustache.
ron cey

don stanhouse DON STANHOUSE
DON pimped his matching afro and moustache style all the way into the 1980’s.

OSCAR GAMBLE
OSCAR is the G.F.H.H.O.F.O.A.T. of this shit. Right off the bat take into consideration the fact that his initials are O.G.

The sideburns and nappy moustache are official, but the afro is straight up on some HGH. That’s word to Oh Word!

oscar gamble

oscar G