Archive for the ‘Fashion Faux Pas’ Category

OPRAH GIVES THE GASFACE TO U.S. SCHOOLKIDS

Monday, January 8th, 2007

ofrah

Let’s be clear about my feelings on OPRAH WINFREY from the gate. I don’t like her. Even though her track record for philanthropy is light years in front of the majority of megarich entertainers I’m still not impressed with her.

My problem with OPRAH is that her good works like rebuilding homes for families that lost theirs due to Hurricane Starrkeysha or the scholarships that she has issued or even when she gives her audience vehicles generate maximum publicity for her brand while actually only helping very few people. When OPRAH says that Black women are contracting AIDS disproportionately because they are sleeping with clandestinely gay men she is affecting millions of people. Negatively.

So now OPRAH tells people that she has essentially given up on the attempting to effectuate better education to America’s disenfranchised. She is a bellwether for not just American philanthropy, but the general concensus American public as well. Educating Americans requires a long term committment. The investment in the poor has lately only been for building new prisons. Philanthropists don’t just want a bigger bang for their bucks and subsequently a more colorful feather in their cap, they would love to avoid the complexities of class and race that are right upfront here in America. OPRAH has become the proverbial new ghetto pass that excuses people for ‘getting the fuck outta Dodge’.

My biggest problem with OPRAH’s remarks about the rampant materialism of inner city youth is that she is the captialist cultures’ premier cheerleader. She uses her program to basically tells us what to consume even though she receives these items free of charge. We are constantly surrounded by messages that put the only value in education as the ability to buy more stuff. Learning is not endorsed as a conduit to greater integrity, ethics or morality. The mantra that is repeated ad nauseam is “go to school, get a better job, make more money”.

Lastly… How the fuck is OPRAH gonna shit on kids because of the failure of America’s education system as if it’s the perogative of the children to determine their values? If you thought COSBY was off base for blaming the parents’ of disenfranchised youth for not promoting better values in their children then what would you think of OPRAH for blaming those that can defend themselves the least. OPRAH can spend her and her wife GAYLE’s money wherever she wants, but attacking defenseless kids on their Christmas present choices is baseless and cowardly.

How much you wanna bet OPRAH invests in prison corporations?

BRITNEY’s VAGINA IS STINKING UP NYC

Monday, January 8th, 2007

brit

BRITNEY SPEARS has taken to going ‘commando’ lately to air out her spoiled vagina. There was a mysterious odor in New York City over the weekend which corresponds to her taping an MTV segment.

NYC Mayor MICHAEL BLLOMBERG says that all the proper precautions have been taken care of to protect the city from Miss SPEARS toxic vag juices including the ordering of 10,000 cases of apple orchard fragrance Massengill.

NOTE TO CIARA’s P.R. PEEPS…

Saturday, January 6th, 2007

ciara

I’m ready to make CIARA my new ‘It’ girl, but you folks need to send me a pic of her genitals first. I won’t publish the pictures to my audience and at least we can move forward.

I understand that she is supposed to have an extra large labia, and I’m cool with that. Hell, if her pussy lips are large enough to put lipstick on I think that’s sexy, but I am strongly opposed to making love to CIARA if she has a penis. Even a small one.

Let’s say she has a penis and twat… I’m still opposed to having sex with her, although I don’t think that she should be stripped of her right to marry BOW WOW or MISSY ELLIOT or whomever is into that type of thing.

JAMES BROWN TRIBUTE PARTY 2.10.07

Tuesday, January 2nd, 2007

keistar flyer

Only a little over a week away…

Rest In Peace To The WIGFATHER

Thursday, December 28th, 2006

j.b.

“If you just give a man a wig, he may not know how to brush it, but if you teach a man the value of his wig, he will always take care of his wig”
-the WIGFATHER

As the internets prattles on ad nauseum about the greatness of the Wigfather we thought that we should highlight a few of the many people that the Wigfather trained in his soulful school of Wig Ownership. In this way you still have the opportunity to see the Wigfather manifest his influence in the entertainment realm. JAMES BROWN is to music what MICHAELANGELO is to painting what SHAKESPEARE is to tragedy what the Sun is to life on Earth.

So show some mother effing respect to the Wigfather!

j.b. JAMES BROWN – THE WIGFATHER
More than just a Wig Owner, the Wigfather used his wigs to buy record labels and radio stations. The Man knew that the Wigfather was the truth and he sent all kinds of ho’s and IRS flunkies after him to slow down his Night Train. The Wigfather’s example of creativity and determinism wasn’t lost on any of the musicians that he came in contact with either.

starchild

GEORGE CLINTON a/k/a STARCHILD

george GEORGE CLINTON
From humble beginnings as a doo wop singer and hair stylist from Plainview, New Jersey, the Wigfathers’ number one disciple became a major Wig Owner in his own right.
GEORGE CLINTON spearheaded the next generation of funk soldiers by creating several bands that would be recording albums all the while simultaneously touring. Parliament, Funkadelic, Parlet, The Brides of Funkenstein… The list goes on and on.

bootsy george

GEORGE CLINTON and BOOTSY COLLINS

bootsy BOOTSY COLLINS
Listen to the bassline on ‘Sex Machine’ and you are hearing a young BOOTSY COLLINS grind for JAMES BROWN and the J.B.’s. BOOTSY was an incredible talent and the Wigfather knew that with the right direction he would become a legend and extremely wig wealthy.

lenny terrence

LENNY KRAVITZ and TERRENCE TRENT D’ARBY
It would take these two cats combined to give you the full impact that the Wigfather brought to the stage, but at least these dudes have been steady maintaining the wigs that they earned.

m.j.

MICHAEL JACKSON a/k/a ‘THE KING OF POP’

m.j. MICHAEL JACKSON
If anyone realized the Wigfather’s acclaim in the popular music field it would have been the ‘King of Pop’. No single artist has sold more albums across the globe than this eccentric and brilliant Wig Owner. MICHAEL’s brilliance was in taking the Wigfather’s advice and buying the publishing catalogs of other popular musicians. In all of MICHAEL JACKSON’s publishing empire do you know that he doesn’t own one JAMES BROWN song?! M.J. had ’nuff respect for the Wigfather.

rick james

RICK JAMES, BITCH!

rick james bitch RICK JAMES
RICK JAMES didn’t just inherit the Wigfather’s funky grooves, but he also liked to put his foot on a broad when she slipped out of pocket. Unfortunately for us RICK JAMES returned to the essence before the Wigfather but you can enjoy some of RICK JAMES best work in the countless Hip-Hop samples of ‘Mary Jane’.

prince

PRINCE
No one replicated the Wigfather’s energy and creative spirit more than PRINCE. From the dance moves to the caterwauling screams PRINCE is everything that the Wigfather intended him to be. A sex machine with ants in his pants.

If you ever have a chance to see ‘Purple Rain’ in Brooklyn or Manhattan please do so. I will be somewhere in the theatre singing all the songs in my unfortunately un-PRINCE like voice.