Archive for the ‘Fashion Faux Pas’ Category

FINALS FOUR The ASSOCIATION

Wednesday, May 24th, 2006

dirk

The NBA season has arrived at its final four teams and lo and behold, Dallas is in the mix. This could be a banner year for everything named Dallas. TERRELL OWENS is in Irving, Texas. Reruns of LARRY HAGMAN, a young VICTORIA PRINCIPAL, and an even younger CHARLENE TILTON are in heavy rotation on T.V. Land. Most of all, yours truly is on a hemp smoothie diet. Get ready to hear the name DALLAS a lot this year.

I have been waiting a minute too for the Mavericks to get their shit together. It’s not like they haven’t had players. They were pretty decent when JASON KIDD, JIM JACKSON and JAMAL MASHBURN were their big three. The rumor about why they couldn’t get along was because JIMMY JACK stole TONI BRAXTON away from MASH.

tightpantstarp

I was down with the Mavs way before then. Back when they had ROLANDO BLACKMAN, DEREK HARPER, MARK AGUIRRE and my main stain ROY TARPLEY. They even had DETLEF SCHREMPF coming off the bench to give you that clutch white boy three point shooting. The Mavs could fill up a hole with the quickness(no B.B.). Them fools used to run and gun in their tight pants like nobody. The only problem was that the Western Conference of the 1980’s was pwned by the Lakers. The Mavericks could beat anybody in the league except for Showtime.

ro black

This year’s team is different from every other Dallas roster because they play some defense. Not a Detroit defense, but they don’t give away easy points or second shots and in the wild Western Conference that might as well be a Detroit defense. I also like the fact that this Dallas team kept alive the tradition of having a bunch of scorers whose names begin with ‘J’. JASON, JERRY and JOSH should be the reasons why the Suns set in the west.

And the Mavs have a selection of whores cheerleaders who have holes that need filling too.

who are

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LADY MARMALADE

Wednesday, May 24th, 2006

mz p

There hasn’t been a female vocalist with the charisma or talent to match Mz. LaBELLE. The only chicks that could come close were down with her. PATTI LaBELLE, NONA HENDRYX, and SARA DASH formed the high octane, high octave superheroine trio called LaBELLE.

the belles

They were known for their outrageous stage presence and futuristic costumes. More than anything else though, it was their talent that made these chicks so hell’a fierce. These ladies could “sang” is what your grandma might say. My stoner aunt and uncle that loved Funkadelic were also big fans of LaBELLE also. The following YouTube has the sisters performing the classic ‘Lady Marmalade’. After you hear this jawn you can realize what a cheap bootleg that remake was.



A few years ago the ladies talked about doing a LaBELLE re-union tour. These ladies would be worth my money to listen to them blast out notes that chicks like CHEWLEESE and FURSHANTI could never imagine.

You have to peep this next clip too. PATTI sings my favorite breakup song ‘Isn’t It A Shame’. She gets real emotional about the whole thing.

I aint mad either that PATTI is a grandma that can still get my two minute tiger love.

mmmmm

SEPARATED AT BIRTH: BIGFOOT

Tuesday, May 23rd, 2006

bigfoot

When it’s a slow night for inspiration I always go to the internets number 1 spot for ghetto celeb madness. I know something there will make me laugh.

BIGFOOT’s seed and former backup dancer for BeYONCE, KELLY ROWLAND has had her latest project pushed back like band member MICHELLE’s hairline.

The extra time off will allow KELLY the chance to give her big feet a break.

the ladies

dogs

SPAM, BITCHES!

Friday, May 19th, 2006

spam

What it do web cipher? I apologize to some of you if your comments haven’t been posted one hundred. It’s time for us to do some unexpected site maintenance to handle the traffic that is falling thru the seams. We will have our tech staffers like JACQUI HERNANDEZ get right on top of the issue. When she gets on top of something it always gets handled right. Nah’mean?!?

I call my baby P.U.S.S.Y.

Shouts to everybody that has been effing with us for the second quarter. We ain’t in the lead yet, but our offense is streaky like JOHN STARKS and it hasn’t been shooting its best. Otherwise, everything is still gravy in the Navy and we will be be back on this blog grizzly in a hot one with more of that internets crack that you be fiendin’ for. And don’t forget…

BLU CHEEZ IS FOR THE KIDS!

killa kid

NBA TIGHT PANTS REST IN PEACE SHOUT OUT

Friday, May 19th, 2006

young malik

The NBA playoffs are in full swing so I thought I could take a minute of your time to remind you of one of my favorite players to come out of St. John’s University. MALIK ‘SILKY’ SEALY was a credible college player and a reliable pro roundballer until his life was cut short by a drunk driver.

Bronx born, MALIK was the product of the NYC Catholic school system and I cheered for him when he decided to remain home to play college ball in New York City. This was the kind of character that MALIK represented throughout his life. He never lived as a ‘me first’ player, but he accepted the role when it was handed to him. MALIK was selected in the first round of the 1992 draft. In his eight years in the league he established his value as one of the players that you wanted on the floor in the waning minutes of a ball game.

fastbreak

MALIK was on his way home from a birthday party held for his then teammate KEVIN GARNETT when his car was hit by a vehicle moving in the opposite direction on the wrong side of the highway.

I like the possibility of KEVIN GARNETT coming to the Knicks in the off season. K.G. owes New York City biggtime since he is indirectly responsible for the loss of two of our beloved favorite sons, MALIK SEALY and CONRAD McCRAE.

Rest in peace my brothers. I will be cheering for y’all again when I get on the other side of the game.

mcnasty