Archive for the ‘Fashion Faux Pas’ Category

SNEAKER FIENDS UNITE!

Sunday, February 5th, 2006

the holy grizzly

In Search of… The HOLY GRAIL.

I have seen a few websites where people proclaim that they are in possesion of the ‘Holy Grail’ of footwear. First off, the Holy Grail can not be found in a FootLocker or an Athlete’s Foot retail location. Holy Grail’s are usually only found as O.G.’s (originals) meaning the company that made them hasn’t had to go back to re-releasing their older shoes in order to stay visible in the sneaker game. Now don’t get me twisted, I am not hating on retro shoes, but if your whole brand is built on looking backwards, how the hell are you going to move forward?!? Secondly, the Holy Grail isn’t just one pair of sneakers, but actually 33 different pairs. One pair for each year that JESUS did his thing in the ‘hoods of Hebron.

black haysue

So I will do a service for all the sneaker fiends that visit this site on the regulack by describing as many of the jewels in the Holy Grail that I can. The first pair that I want to bring to the table is the NIKE AIR TECH CHALLENGE ’90. These tennis SHOES were originally released in several colorways for men and for the ladies. The line was popularized by the flashy tennis player ANDRE AGASSI and the line came complete with matching shorts, socks and jerseys.

for the ladieeeeeeeeeees

Earlier, I referenced this model as ‘shoes’ instead of sneakers because that was the level of engineering that NIKE put into creating these shoes. The outsole is made of a compond called Durathane. This is an industrial strength rubber infused with polyurethane for maximun treadwear. To put it mildly, these shoes will be around long after your azz has stopped playing tennis. The upper was made with high quality leather and not this new fake leather or styrofoam that is being placed on sneakers nowadays. NIKE also put their proprietary AIR design into the shoes for another level of comfort. To top off all that good engineering, NIKE designers issued the shoe in flavors that matched ANDRE AGASSI’s fiery competitiveness. No brokeback, but the hot pink joints were straight FLAMES!!!

the 90's
how real is this?

Too bad for AGASSI that he defected to the three stripe brand, because it would have been a grand party for him when NIKE finally wises up and retro’s these classics.

limited edition lowtops

BILLY SUNDAY’s GHETTO CELEB POP QUIZ

Sunday, February 5th, 2006

why is this man smiling?

What do you get when you listen to RAP music and then you take a couple of E tablets?

Editor’s note: Peep ol’ girl with the muscle neck Adams apple seated behind JIGGA MAN. Is that YOUR chick?!? Trans Europe Express.

The 2006 H.A.M. Beauty Pageant…

Saturday, February 4th, 2006

I smell sumthin'

will be coming all over you! More ghetto celeb judges are lining up to put their work on display. LISA RAYE is one of the G.O.A.T.H.A.M.s of our generation. I am just too happy to have her on my budget again.

CIGARS and NEEGARS…

Saturday, February 4th, 2006

jordan

Have you been wondering what the deal is with all of these celebs and their cigars? The cigar always looked like a curious object to me. Its blatantly phallic and its dark brown.

mel ramos 2005

I could imagine that for some folks it might be like living the dream without actually crossing the ‘line’, plus it satiates some Freudian hand-mouth fixation.

hand to mouth

I can’t really call it other than it seems to be a feminine thing

cuba santera

Maybe wearing pink or rocking a pair of thong sandals is more brokeback to most of the kids that read these internets stories.

cigga jigga

But you would be hard pressed to convince me that sucking on a big brown penis isn’t about the gayest thing that you could perpetrate in your life, and with COMMON doing it now…

comnonsense

it’s definitely brokeback. I blame ERYKAH.

et tu COMMON?!?

SEPARATED AT BIRTH: BLACK HISTORY MONTH EDITION

Friday, February 3rd, 2006

lawnjockey

Will the madness ever end?!?

Will these white-glove wearin’, gap-tooth grinnin’, shoeshine shufflin’, coonskin lawn jockeys ever cease to exist?!?

coonboy

Prah’lee not.