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Editor’s note: The Complex mag crew asked me to give a sentence or two about my impressions to the Watch The Throne event. It looks like I OD’d on the hype and TWote too much. Here’s what I said…

I’m calling this album Gattaca Rap. In the new iteration of the classic future dystopian flick we will see Jay-Z reprising the role of Ethan Hawke and BeYonce cast as Uma Thurman. KanYe West of course plays Jude Law since his DNA is all over this record.

‘No Church In The Wild’ featuring Frank Ocean

Jay-Z is as awkward in this genetically modified world as Ethan Hawke was, but just like Hawke escaped from Earth so did Jay-Z escape from the Marcy Houses to another world outside of Brooklyn. But maybe it was the planet of Brooklyn where Jay-Z has always belonged? Maybe Jay-Z doesn’t need to be circling around Saturn since his vehicle of choice is a Maybach anyhoo? I wanted to hear him craft verses that explained what the rare air of outerspace smelled like, but Jay-Z is still too preoccupied with a mortal imagination. Albeit a wealthy one, still hardly one belonging to a god who can hold a supernova star in his hand.

‘New Day’

KanYe West isn’t limited by his imagination, although he is burdened by his tragic Midwest upbringing for attempting to put a gilded hood ornament on a rocket ship. It’s called doing too much. There are times when his flourishes are truly fantastic (MBDTF) and there are moments in Watch The Throne where I have no idea what he is musically doing to my ears. I’ll blame myself for not having the right DNA hexcode to truly understand KanYe. Maybe, just maybe, this album has such a cosmic sound that I got lost in the translation.

‘Welcome To The Jungle’

Watch The Throne means everything to some people and nothing to others. I’m finding myself exactly in the middle, loving some of the tracks for Jay-Z’s honesty and Kanye’s musicality and skipping over half of the songs that I just don’t get. I wanted this album to be an instant classic for me, but after taking the piss test at Gattaca Aerospace Corporation my genome must have been deemed invalid? It’s like I got to the launch site too late to ride on the spaceship, but I still watched the liftoff. Whoever made it onto the spaceship is having a good time I suppose while I’m stuck here on Earth with the other invalids. My only consolation is that the hype machine powering this spaceship will run out of gas before it reaches Mars.

‘Life Off’ featuring BeYonce

No Church In The Wild stays on the loop tho’.

I’ma put 2.5/5 Blackstronaut Tangs on this spaceship.