During a trip to Phillytown I was assaulted and then escorted out of an adidasOriginals installation by one of their employees.
It’s not enough for adidas to make subpar shoes for Reebok, but to also try to treat me like a loser I feel like I had to make this video.
Eff you adidas for treating me like a shitbag. Burn in sneaker hell with Etonic, Brooks, Saucony, Spot-Bilt, KangaRoos and L.A. Gear.
Put this on your thing.
No fishsticks…
Before I talk about the new show that HBO is debuting this weekend I have to tell you my situation. I’m a few days in front of my next paycheck and I’m crawling to the finish line. The only thing saving me in these times are the marketing companies that have listening events or preview parties with free food and drinks. My meal for this day would consist of pizza, along with beef, pork, chicken and fish tacos (ugh, why did I do the fish?). The Hof Brau Dunkel dark lager was deee-effin’-lish. Plus, it had the word Dunk in it’s name. Free food for the motherfuckin’ win everytime. Now that I have taken the edge off I’m ready to watch some television.
HBO has yet to recreate a comedic series as monumentally genius as ‘Curb Your Enthusiasm’, but bless their hearts for continually trying. I wasn’t into the ‘Eastbound & Down‘ premiere as much. Don’t get it twisted, I fux with DANNY McBRIDE hardbody, but the writing for that show was visibly cliche to my senses. I was waiting for the rubber chicken to get pulled out. The new series ‘Bored To Death’ is way more watchable and should be a decent post-Curb treat.
The writing for ‘Bored To Death’ isn’t as under the radar smart as ‘Flight Of The Conchords’ (tragically slept on hilarity), but the punchlines and sight gags still snap and pop regularly. The creator and lead writer JONATHAN AMES lives in the urban fiction writer culture of white wine, sex and weed (stuffwhitepeoplelike) so he effortlessly describes it in the show. JASON SCHWARTZMAN plays the lead character who shares the same name as the show’s creator, along with his best buddy played by ZACH GALIFIANAKIS and his boss, for whom the classic TED DANSON has been cast, we have a nice little ensemble ready for the shenanigans to commence.
ZACH’s character is a sex obsessed comic book artist, while DANSON is a pot-obsessed magazine editor. The deal with SCHWARTZMAN’s character is he is into the reisling a little too much. How can you be too much into reisling? I don’t know either but I will play along for the sake of laughs that should come from wino humor. Which is something AMES should add to the series now that I think about it. If the lead character is so heavy into his wines that his lady is forced to leave him he should also dabble in the bumwines a bit. That would give a nice little urban edge to this series.
DANSON and GALIFIANAKIS are scene stealers and the situations the lead character puts himself in will bring out the LOLs. I like the idea that the lead is an open minded recreational drug user. So much that he even considers smoking crystal meth. It’s funny to me because the character is supposed to be 30yrs old and not 21 (which is the ONLY age to be a legal recreational drug user). He’s too old to still be this irresponsible, but that is the story of so many other 30yr olds nowadays. JONATHAN AMES did it all so that hopefully you won’t have to make the same mistakes as him. Wine, weed and sex. It’s a wonderful lifestyle if you can live it.
So ‘Ye Tudda interrupted MTV’s flagship awards program to say that the ‘Single Ladies’ video was one of the “best of all time”. KanYe ain’t neva lie. Especially not after killing a bottle of that brown ‘truth juice’.
This latest KanYe West award ceremony outburst has the TWittter streets all aflutter tweeting. The truth is that KanYe’s statement was on point. BeYonce’s ‘Single Ladies’ video is well designed and choreographed to the tee oh pee. I’m sure the Taylor Swift video has good visuals too, but BeYonce is a fux’n specimen. KanYe and his muse lady Amber Rose were reportedly escorted from the building after his outburst. Who knows? And at the end of the day who the fux cares?
What I did want to talk about was the bottle of brown truth juice that KanYe is advertising on the VMA red carpet. Since ‘Ye Tudda is the Louis Vuitton Don and since Louis Vuitton is the owner of Moet (mo-way) and Hennessy I think it would be naive of us not to think that there wasn’t a corporate placement for this shot. I mean, a man of KanYe’s tastes and means would surely prefer Martell to Hennessy, no?
I was chopping it up on FaceBook with a fellow Commissioner, Jamal7Mile, when the homey pointed me to his weblog site – You Damned Right I Farted!!. By the way, J7M that is the funniest name of all time for a website, kudos. The homey’s latest drop talks about the state imposed timeout he is starting later on today. That is some pill to swallow when you know you are gonna be on lockdown. Your mind goes over all the shit that you could have done to not be in the position you are facing.
I think Jamal7Mile is already on the right path to getting his mind right in the long run. I wish I could say tha same for myself. I am an alcoholic. This doesn’t mean that I get drunk all the time because I don’t, but it does mean that I will seek out opportunities to be intoxicated and make decisions based on those opportunities that affect me long after I have placed down the bottle. I’ve dealt with counseling and rehab before for drugs and drinking. You learn that addiction is a lifelong process. You also learn that you have the power within yourself to overcome your demons.
I wish Jamal7Mile the best on his journey. He can definitely overcome this. No matter where you go brother there YOU are. Keep believing in yourself and keep your head to the sky. Peace.
Butching it up for the win…
As the spiritual first day of the great American gayme of football kicks off I thought we could have a debate about which of the two teh gheyest sports was the most… Teh Ghey.
Is it tennis, where men wear little tiny tennis shorts [ll]?
Or golf, where men hit a little white ball into a hole with their sticks?
In tennis you can be a champion without even being the best player left in the tournament. If the best player in the world has a bad afternoon and gets sent home early in the tournament then who knows who the hell will win the trophy? My guess is that it will prA’li be NADAL or FEDERER. Tennis tournaments are all about seeding. If your draw is filled with highly ranked bums or players to which your game holds an advantage you will advance. Not so much in golf.
In golf you have to beat the entire field of competitors. Rankings don’t determine who wins these tournaments, only which player uses the least amount of strokes to get his balls in the holes [ll]. That is the gheyest description of a sport in the history of ghey sports. Gheyer even than a wide receiver throwing a ball to a tight end. I mean, how often does that happen? Golf is totally gheyer than tennis also because you can still play golf well when you are old. Tennis, not so much.
Golf is especially gheyer than tennis because of the women’s game. Sure tennis had BILLIE JEAN KING and MARTINA NAVRITILOVA but isn’t every woman that plays golf a lesbian? If not then why do they all dress like one? I have nothing against teh gheys in whatever sport they play because all professional sports are teh ghey. Can you imagine what the Davis Cup locker rooms must look like? I will bet you that they are gheyer than a baseball dugout.
