Things That Piss Me Off – NSFW
Archive for the ‘Talking Shit’ Category
Not For Long: Week 8
Sunday, October 26th, 2008
Fist pounding and assbeads?!? ***
No wonder the Cowboys stay losing!
This season my football pool picks have gotten me in a hole.
In the DP.com pool I’m stuck in the middle sandwiched by CeeRICH and the Swede with swagger.
Not a bad place to be in real life either, but I’m looking to win this ish so I have to be a power top.
The XXL mag pool is all dudes looking to come up on a crispy pair.
They don’t stand a chance.
To beat me in the football pool you gotta love the game.
Wide receivers and tight ends catching balls.
Scatbacks taking hand offs in the pocket.
*** [ll] to this entire drop.
What’s In Your Package?
Thursday, October 23rd, 2008
The Federal government is bandying about the idea of issuing another “stimulus package” for Americans to spend in order to help the U.S. economy float like a turd in a terlet. Take it from me, fixing the economy is not about putting $600 dollars in my bank account.
With all of the out-of-network fees, the below minimum balance monthly maintenance fees, and the overdraft fees that I accrue it’s like I’m giving the money right back to the screwballs who effed the system the eff up in the first place.
I don’t mind the free money, but I also know that no one is giving away free money. Someone’s gonna have to pay for that shit at some point. With interest too no doubt. So what does the government do to stop the jobless rate upswing? Keep in mind that chattel slavery is not one of the selections.
We need to start building shit again. Building shit and making shit. The far east has pwned us for the last several decades because they build and make better shit than we do. Better cars. Better toys. Better snack foods.
TOHATO Caramel Corn = OMG!
America has to return to their manufacturing and developing dominance. Sure we can kick ass on the battlefield, but when was the last time that the Wise brand excited you for the premiere of a new Dipsy Doodle?
America has to get back to having the complete game on the global court. Coca-Cola needs to create a new logo and a new factory in every state where people make gourmet organic sody pops by hand. Their dirty, unwashed hands. Where the CO2 is actual people farts.
Listen, I don’t know a gotdamn thing about fixing the economy. Maybe it shouldn’t be fixed since it’s already “fixed”. Maybe people should be sent a check for $666 bucks and they can’t cash it unless they accept a laser etched bar code on their foreheads. What would you spend your last cash money on?
$666 isn’t a whole lot of money but it is a little something to get you through a weekend.
$50 – Two(2) round trip tickets to Trenton via NJ Transit
$32 – Two(2) round trip tickets from Trenton to Philadelphia 30th Street Station
$210 – Two nights in downtown Philly hotel with the Friends & Family code
$180 – Two(2) pairs of exclusive Nike Dunks (his & hers) from UBIQ
$130 – A classy dinner with the lady at a jazzy supper club
$2 – Philadelphia Museum of Art ‘Pay What You Wish‘ Sundays
$24 – Lunch at Geno’s Steaks
$28 – Two movie tickets and popcorn for when our train gets back to Penn Station on Sunday night
The G Dubbz administration and their “Mark Of The Beast” economic program just gave Chocolate Snowflake and I a very nice weekend in Philadelphia.
Do the math and see where the Illuminati’s armageddon takes you.
RED SOX KICK ROCKS…
Monday, October 20th, 2008
Trading MANNY RAMIREZ was the end of the MLB ‘chip era in Beantown.
He’s Got 99 Problems…
Wednesday, October 15th, 2008
But a bitch ain’t one of ’em. Hmmmmmm?
I don’t care how hardbody you keep your shit at some point you are gonna have issues with your bitch. It just be like that sometimes. You could be the greatest rapper of all time and you will still have to deal with the bullshit that these broads manifest.
Mahogany
So even if the god MC has to put up with these chicks what makes you think that any lesser rapper won’t have to get put through the ringer? The best of the best get broken down by these scandalous chicks. Look at your man G Rap. He got Karinne Steffans pregnant. You see what that got him? Kool G Rap can’t get a motherfucker to listen to his lisp. Meanwhile Superhead is a rap music superstar without spitting one serious bar. Plus Superhead doesn’t spit, she swallows.Zing!I’ll be here all week internets.
NaS stays having issues with his baby boos because that is the lifestyle of a don. I remember hearing a radio interview with the little homey several years ago and he didn’t even sweat the fact his ex-bitch was getting all scandalous in the newsprint. NaS took it in stride like this was what happens in Holly’hood. Everybody passes around their broads and its nothing. NaS was going through the heartbreak of just losing his mother so I don’t think any trifling heifer could rattle his cage. Not like your boy Eminem got broken down.
I feel for Eminem because that dude loved his baby momma ridiculous. She must have been tongue kissing his asscrack as hard as she smoked the crackpipe because Em was sprung. He’s considered suicide over that chick several times as well as getting arrested and all sorts of property damage from him just wilding out in his mansion. Eminem was clearly one of the greatest rappers to ever touch the microphone, unfortunately, a bitch was definitely his problem.
I can’t say that a bitch was ever Fifty Cent’s problem. He has pretty much held his baby momma in check. There was that time she jumped up out of pocket and hired that dude Raoul Felder, but that didn’t net her too much paper. That is why homegirl burnt down Fifty’s crib on some Left Eye bullshit. Fifty stays winning though because he is transitioning himself to be a media magnate while homegirl is about to get Section 8.
Diddy stays having chick problems. Cassie, Siena Miller, Aubry O’Day, Kim Porter, Mysa. The list goes on for Diddy. If Diddy has 99 problems that means he has 99 bitches. T.I. got chick problems. Cop ass police ass man titty ass Rick Ross has bitch problems since he fucks with Foxy Brown. Even Busta Rhymes has bitch problems and everyone knows he’s teh ghey. KanYe ain’t got no girlfriend but he still has bitch problems. Which brings me to my final question…
Why don’t Jay-Z have any bitch problems?
Is his G just that melliferous? Is Jay-Z the greatest mack in our lifetime? Even Sinatra had problems with these whores. Even J.F.K. I’m not trying to bring down the House of Roc-A-Wear, er, Dereon, but I don’t never hear a peep from them. Jay-Z needs to smack the shit out of BeYonce before the end of this quarter just to remind her of who he is. I know BeYonce has to be getting all uppity now that she is using skin bleaching cremes and the what not. Jay-Z needs to remind that chick that she is still Blacker than Obama no matter how much of that Ambi shit she uses.