So we all know that I fux with the Mountain Dew blue (Voltage) totally. I’m sure I’ll be dead from heart disease on my own before I have to deal with any adverse effects of a HFCS sweetened aqua-marine colored cola. If you haven’t tried MTN DEW blue you seriously have no idea what you are missing. What? You planning on living forever? Fuck that shit. I’m living today.
After several impassioned YouTube clips and a little politicking from HowFresh to the folks that market Mountain Dew I was given an invite to taste the newest MTN DEW at some funky obama with free food. I wasn’t sure how the set up would work out so I put a call in to my young homey from the TWitter – RLFNOWHERE. I asked fam to come through the event and hold the handycam for me while I talked that DP ish.
I owe HowFresh an apology because I didn’t think he was gonna push for me to get a word in with the whole PepsiCo. braintrust, but How is ultimately a man of his word. I’m not sure if I impressed on the marketers how serious I felt about their product or maybe I came across a little too fanatical. What can I say? My fanboy engine gets turned on and the next thing you know I am jumping through plate glass windows. Thank goodness there was no plate glass at this spot.
Mountain Dew rented out the swanky new Brooklyn Bowl in Williamsburg for the event. My biggest regret was not going in on the food hardbody. There were some crabcake appetizers that were for the win. I did get busy on the drinks though(naturally – natch) and I did beat HowFresh on the lanes so at least the Mets pwned the Yankees in that arena. The marketers sent us to this area where a MTN DEW technician taught us the how to make our own special Dew using their secret ingredients.
At the end of the day however the new diet Mountain Dew needs a shape up. First, the people at Pepsi need to kill the word ‘diet’ on their product. That shit is gheyer than a bag of dildos in RuPaul’s apartment. Whenever I see someone drinking a ‘diet’ soda I think that person would rather have a Tab or a penis in their mouth. My bad to anyone that like diet sodas. In my opinion the fact that this product is zero calories is enough of an attraction. What idiot doesn’t understand that zero cals means no sugar?
The marketers should have called this product MD UV ZC. That’s DP’s urban shorthand for Moutian Dew UltraViolet Zero Calories. How hot would that be? I still get the energy (read: caffeine) of a regular MTN DEW product but now their isn’t any sugar to push my blood insulin count out the roof. Sounds like a win for the kid if you ask me. The Mountain Dew UltraViolet flavor is being released with a limited run starting this week so if you see a bottle pick one up and try it out. If you don’t like it I will mail you a refund.
No, really.
The clip above was taken when the MTN DEW camera got at me.
Here’s the clip we made without the bigtime flashing lights…
