Archive for the ‘Social Upheaval’ Category

I’m With Stupid…

Thursday, September 7th, 2006

bubba and dubya

This used to be my favorite time of the year when I was a kid because I was going back to school and I would get to see who my new classmates were and if any of them were cool or assbags. There’s a similiar anxiety on Capitol Hill and throughout the Beltway in D.C. as politicians scramble to shore up their platforms prior to the ‘midterm’ elections. These are desperate times in Washington and a lot of the Senatorial flunkies may be collecting unemployment checks while they play golf this winter.

For being a bunch of pussies and letting the Administration walk over them to squash our civil liberties they all should know what its like to be one paycheck from living in a refrigerator box inside a public park.

Looks like politricks makes for strange bedfellows. The Senators were so haughty to harraunge BILL CLINTON for his cigar fellating intern, but no one is man enough to say that we are losing two many of our sons to the desert. None of these fools is brave enough to restore the ethics and integrity that was the lynchpin for working class idealogy. Corporations take their working class jobs everywhere but here. We are even outsourcing the labor for the rebuilding of the Gulf Coast. Not surprisingly though, the reconstruction work is moving as fast as a filibustered bill for healthcare reform. Let’s not even discuss the educational needs that we are facing. Let’s just hope that the worker of tomorrow only need to know how to operate a PlayStation controller.

And with the seams seemingly unraveling before our very eyes there is still only one thing that really matters…

“It’s the economy stupid!”

(click above^ it’s a link)

BLU CHEEZ Cruises For Kiddie Poontang…

Thursday, September 7th, 2006

mamita chula

or, If You Can’t Beat ‘Em, Eat ‘Em.

I vowed never to open a MySpace page since it reminded me of all the other crappy social network forums that I could never really be a part of. BlackPlanet, MiGente, Friendster, Match dot com, etc. I registered for all of them and I created a nice little page that was cool and the gang, but I never really made any friends or otherwise. For whatever reason the people could sense that I really didn’t belong. I guess it was because I didn’t know any of the cool HTML codes or the abbreviations to phrases like laughing my ass off and be right back. On BlackPlanet I did become semi-cool with this wild broad from L.A. that had three by three (3×3). Three kids and three baby daddies. Truth is that might have been my steez in my teens or my early twenties, but those are ultimately the types of broads that get you shots. Gunshots, or shots of penicillin.

Anyhoo…

This MySpace shit is bananas. Yeah, it’s obviously filled with the type of folks that I have utter contempt for. People that are essentially sheep just waiting to be herded on to the next hula hoop fad, but there also seems to be an undercurrent of serious, provactive thought going on in there. People that can think outside of the box who are just waiting to connect with someone from the mothership. I need to reach these folks and let them know where it’s going down at.

Awww, who are we kidding?!? There’s a shiiteload of horny young broads over there and daddy needs a brand new pair of Air Max Premiums.

Holler at BLU CHEEZ on MySpace.

Et Tu ERNESTO, Et Tu?!?

Thursday, September 7th, 2006

nike che

It seems that between Hurricane ERNESTO and the usual ‘back-to-school’ flurry of consumer activity retail sales are up slightly for the 3Q (third quarter, bitches). I suppose this is good news on one hand because that should get us to the end of the year without and marked downturn. Most of us really go into debt in the next three months with all the traveling and gift giving associated with the end of the year. I still find it ironic that CHE is making money for us capitalist pigs any way that he can.

The real funny part of this post is how money magazines talk about retailers and companies salivating over back to school sales, but nobody gets hype for an education system that works. With the schools going to shit at least the parents will have their kids looking good.

BLACK WOMEN = SCARY x (2)BOSSY

Wednesday, September 6th, 2006

black women

You do the math!

Thank goodness I have a broad’s opinion to buttress this post against, or all of you developmental studies graduate degreed dreadlocked feministas from North Carolina Community College would be bringing your pink pitchforks to my door. Y’all still got a chip on your shoulder ’cause that Duke case is smelling like another TAWANA BRAWLEY. People need to stop hating the messenger just because they don’t want to hear the message.

JOY JONES is one of y’all whether you believe me or not. She submits her essays to the Washington Post. You might remember her jawnt, ‘Marriage Is For White People‘. Well now Ms. JONES has turned it up a notch to explain, ne, ‘splain why most of you Black women aren’t fulfilling your domestic birthright of holy matrimony as ordained by the baby Jesus Christ. She calls this winner, ‘Why Are Black Women Scaring Off Their Men?: A Fighting Spirit Is Important-But Not At Home‘. But you can read all of that later on your own time.

This is my time now hotdammit and I want to know what is more important than serving me (in the collective royal sense – the Black man)?!? Don’t you understand that we are being attacked constantly at the workplace (those of us that have jobs) and in the media (those of us that read newspapers, watch television) so much that all we would like would be to come home and have a warm meal and a pair of slippers at the door. But nooooooo, you have a meeting tonight with the exec admin staff about the new memo pad format. BOLSHEVIK!!! So it’s another night of microwave turkey breast for us and the kids that we picked up from the sitter. Fine. And then on nights that you are home it’s spaghetti. Again. We don’t give a fuck if you have put fresh garlic in the pasta. We have spaghetti 15 times a fucking month.

We wish we had the chance to have sex with you as often as we eat your spaghetti. You were such a sassy women when we were dating. Your sex appeal was out the roof. We were open for cunnilingus too. As a matter of fact, we got so good at it we became cunnilingual. You graciously shared your chocolate starfish with us. The only time I get to see that now is when you are showing me your ass during a discussion. You knew that we were working at a blue collar profession. Because we say save for life insurance and you say save for retirement doesn’t make us outmoded. We were a team before, Batman and Robin, and we are not going to be playing the position of Robin. Extra no LUTHER VANDROSS’ shoulder pad glitter jacket.

What we need is for you to play your position. Sit back in the passenger seat while we drive this family through the ups and downs. We’ll occassionally ask you for some directions. Just don’t cop an attitude when we don’t follow them. We love y’all to death, we just need for y’all to simmer down, stay sexy and shut the fuck up.

PRINCESS DIANA = KAFIR LOVER

Tuesday, September 5th, 2006

diana

One of the main reasons that I like to talk with y’all is because y’all read between the lines so well. We can’t fooled by fake butter margarine, unless of course we wanted margarine because it has lower cholesterol. But you know what I’m sayin’!

The British fumbledrumble something or the other is going to pore over the wreckage yet again of the car crash that Princess DIANA and her consort, DODI AL FAYED were killed in to see if they are really dead or living in Cuba with TUPAC and B.I.G. Peep the headshot of the LADY judge that will be reviewing the evidence…

slossy

Whew. The more I see British women the prettier DIANA becomes. Her name is Baroness Judge ANN ELIZABETH OLDFIELD BUTLER-SLOSS (No! I’m not making this shit up.) Her claim to fame internationally is that she set free the two juveniles that lured the 3yr old away from its mom while she was shopping. They beat the crap out of the kid and then shoved batteries up his arse and left him for dead on train tracks. Just when I think that the U.S. justice system is the worst I realize that I can always look to the Brits for something even wilder.

Why are they wasting the pounds and pence of the good British people? We all know that DIANA had to die because she was pregnant with the seed of a kafir. How in the hell could they let a kafir child run around that would be blood related to the monarchy?!? It just wouldn’t seem proper to all the gentry over there. People would snicker behind the Queens’ back that she was grand mum to a colonial slave. It’s wasn’t a good look for Queen ELIZABETH so she had to terminate the pregnancy.

I don’t see the Crown ever admitting to killing DIANA just like they’re never returning anything that was stolen during colonialism. Let’s move along now, there’s nothing to see here.