Archive for the ‘Social Upheaval’ Category

Mommy, What’s a Hipster? (ReMix)

Sunday, July 2nd, 2006

hipsters

The new Negro Intelligentsia (BYRON CRAWFORD and The Assimilated Negro) have weighed in on this topic and since I live in the heart of ‘HipsterLand’ properly known as Brooklyn New York, I thought I should contribute something to the discussion.

The Hipster phenomena isn’t exclusive to New York City although we are the Hipster capital (sort of like the place where the Hipsters convene and create their memoranda). They have spread to cities like Philadelphia, Boston, Baltimore, Atlanta, Washington D.C. and Detroit. I see them on a level with other cults groups like the Jehovah Witnesses and Hare Krishnas. They populate low income minority neighborhoods because the property values are so diminished they are able to buy expansive buildings. In middle income neighborhoods the same property would be double+ the cost. The Hipster typically furnishes his/her property with items discarded by the local neighborhood residents. In this manner they are perceived by the locals as being less well off than they are and this brings them into the affections of the local residents. The Hipster diet consists solely of non-menthol cigarettes and cheap domestic beer. Hipster attire is often an amalgamation of items that have been salvaged from local trashbins and the more oft than not thrift store purchase. Hipsters give each other kudos on how inexpensive and uncoordinated their outfits are. For instance, Brad will tell Becky how splendid her patined-leather galooshes look with her woolen overalls. She will compliment him likewise and he will say that he spent $.56 on his entire ensemble.

I am not knocking Hipsters for their apparent devaluation of materialism. Their heads are in the right places when it comes to securing property on the cheap. Lesbian hipsters are famous for starting neighborhood gardens in the vacant lots adjoining their properties.

lezbo hipsters

By living in these low income minority neighborhoods the Hipsters acquire what they percieve to be an intimacy with the lifestyles and values of the locals. Thereby removing themselves from the possibility of being labeled as intolerant when they adorn their automobile with a Confederate flag. The Hipsters are simply mocking the intolerance that symbol represents, while simultaneously mocking the need for people to place flags of any kind on an automobile. I fully understand and appreciate the irony that Hipsters are trying to express. To that extent I have created a line of tee shirts that also uses irony to hopefully foster some kind of understanding.

I have sold only four so far, but if you enjoy this website, and you have a keen understanding of irony, I would love for you to help me ‘KILL WHITE TEE!

KILL WHITE TEE!

TOOKIE WILLIAMS IS NOT MALCOLM X! (ReMix)

Saturday, July 1st, 2006

tookie < big red

The internets are driving me bananas with all this talk about Crips founder, STANLEY ‘TOOKIE’ WILLIAMS. The eulogies are flying around as if we had lost one of the greatest humanitarian statesmen since PAUL ROBESON.

I don’t doubt the transformation that TOOKIE made during his incarceration and I don’t think that the state of California or Texas for that matter have ever had an equitable or justifiable record of prosecuting people of color and poor people. What has been lost in all of the hoopla of the protests by celebrity gangbangers like SNOOP DOGG has been TOOKIE’s adherence to the ‘G’ code.

With the small window of time that he remained on the planet he tried to leave a legacy that would outshine his darkest moments. I have to respect that gangsta. But by trying to compare his state-sponsored execution to that of MALCOLM or MARTIN you are missing the true essence of a leader. MALCOLM’s challenge to the status-quo mentality made him an enemy of Corporate America. There is nobody in the world badder than C.A. They are so gangsta that they can drop a bomb on you while you sit on the toilet. And in the morning papers it will read that there was a gas leak in your building.

I’m just saying that maybe if TOOKIE lived another fifty years he might get to the level of a MALCOLM or MARTIN, but as it stands he doesn’t even eclipse MUMIA.

Editor’s note: Further signs of the apocalypse… TOOKIE WILLIAMS tee shirts on eBAY listed as TOOKIE WILLIAMS ORIGINAL GANGSTER THUG PIMP. oy!

My Uncle’s Name is TOM (ReMix)

Saturday, July 1st, 2006

c.p.

I remember as a kid learning that the term ‘Uncle Tom’ is derisive, which struck me as a bit ironic since I have an uncle whose name is Tom. My uncle Tom is a rebbe in Brooklyn. He is funny and quirky and really intelligent too. So I needed to know how having an ‘Uncle Tom’ was not a good thing.

I asked BILLY SUNDAY about the meaning of ‘Uncle Tom’ and what’s wrong with ‘selling out,’ since it is a phrase I’ve heard uttered in connection with the first.

c.p.n.g.w.b.

The Uncle Tom character is someone who’s been given benefits and guarantees while he works hard to please his master. The Uncle Tom believes that due solely to his hard work, he has secured his master’s favor. The Uncle Tom believes that the master’s doctrines are universally beneficial and equitable.

c.t.

The Whip Cracker is completely different from the Uncle Tom in that the Whip Cracker understands that the benefits he receives are issued not for meritous acheivement but for complicit behavior. The Whip Cracker doesn’t believe that he is favored by the master but understands that if he complies with the master’s programs, then he will be spared from the master’s wrath. The Whip Cracker knows the dirty tricks the master employs to control his holdings and the Whip Cracker has no empathy for the moral consequences. All the Cracker wants to know is,”When am I going to eat?”

c.t.

In the end, the Uncle Tom is a tragic figure because he believes that he is truly loved by his controllers, whereas the Whip Cracker understands and accepts that he is only a servant responsible for sustaining the master’s control.

A LETTER FROM THE MANAGEMENT

Thursday, June 29th, 2006

gaza knicks

It’s halftime bitches!

Not halftime like in basketball or football, but it’s still a game. This is halftime in the financial and business world. It’s time for us to assess our assets and analyze our analytics.

Let’s see… I have $3.56 in my checking account. That can get me seven (7) 16oz. bottles of Tropical Fantasy Iced Tea. Over 112ozs of high fructose goodness. The same $3.56 can also get me two Ghetto Big Macs and a small french fry. I better fall back on that one since there is a rumor that McDonald’s doesn’t care about Black people. I could always just leave my money in the bank to earn interest even if the Federal Reserve is playing with the rate like a pimp plays with a hooker’s emotions.

The reason to take a break at halftime is to examine the direction that I am moving in. I want to be a writer in the professional sense of the word. I want to be paid for putting my thoughts into words. This is no easy task since there are even more writers than there are adolescent rappers. Most writers would do what they do for the love anyhoo, just like circus clowns and astronauts. There has got to be a way for me to break through. Look for me to take more risks in the content I bring to you during the third quarter. Some things worked last quarter and some of our concepts failed miserably

cletus

The interracial love pictures are on ice for now, but BLU CHEEZ has outdone himself with some of the images that he has stashed in his galleries. BILLY SUNDAY is sharpening his sword on some of the local NYC politicos that are vying to become lords of the ghetto in November. Somebody please tell KEVIN POWELL and DAVID YASSKY to protect their necks. I expect the INTERN to bring some heat during the summer as well. It’s even been rumored that GENEVA JONES will come back to the fold. Did I ever tell you how I love white women. Things are looking up.

The website team at ZILLA SAYS and OH WORD! have both agreed to tentatively working with us on some internets collabos so look out for that. I’m excited to think about how crazy this summer might get if everything falls into place. I will be taking some time off to catch up on some of the sites listed in my blogroll. I want to see who’s doing what and where I can borrow some FRESH material from. I will lace the page with a few of my favorite posts in remix form.

Thanks, as always for making DP dot com one of your favorite sites on the internets for getting plugged in.

pandalove

Israel Is On FIYAHHHHHH!

Thursday, June 29th, 2006

gaza

It’s not like we needed anything else to set the tinderbox called the Middle East up in flames, but the Israelis and Palestinians continue their pissing match until the losers say ‘uncle’. The Palestinians lost a long time ago so there must not be an islamic translation for the word uncle. After forty years of occupation you would think that the Palestinians would be smart enough to convert to Judaism. The Africans that were brought to America during the Middle Passage knew what time it was when KUNTA KINTE got his foot chopped off. Folks started reading the New Testament and doing cartwheels in church.

I guess its time for the Israelis to show the people in Gaza what a real Zionist azz kicking looks like. If these people haven’t gotten the message after four decades of having a foot firmly planted in their azzes its time to start over. I say wipe the pavement with fried Hamas bones. Send a message to the Syrians, the Egyptians, the Lebanese and the rappers from the dirty south.

“We run this rap music shit!”