Archive for the ‘Social Upheaval’ Category

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Takin’ It To The Streets 2010

Wednesday, June 16th, 2010

jets

Takin’ It to the Streets 2010… GET FAMILIAR!

Here at dallaspenn.com, you already know that if that real hip-hop is going down anywhere on God’s green earth, we’re there. Plain and simple. NY to the Windy City to wherever. So it’s absolutely no question that we have to put the whole Midwest (and actually the whole internets) onto the hip-hop event of the summer that’s going down in Chicago this Saturday, hosted by the Inner-city Muslim Action Network (aka IMAN), the most amazing, awe-inspiring non-profit around. Mos Def. Brother Ali. The blogs’ favorite, Mikkey Halsted. And many, many, many more. Marquette Park. 9 am to 9 pm. Straight up 12 hours of that real hip-hop. Get familiar, clear out your Saturday, and make your way to Marquette Park for an unforgettable event.

See you there, internets!

Posted in 5 Elements, Crappers, Slum's Villa, Social Upheaval, When I Reminisce... | 9 Comments »

Afro-Punk Is Coming To Town…

Monday, June 14th, 2010

afro punk

Mark you calendars internets.

Afro-punk Festival 2010
June 25-27
@ Commodore Barry Park (directly outside of the Bklyn Navy Yards)

Cool Kids
J*Davey
NinjaSonik
Activator
Game Rebellion
Martin Luther
Bad Brains

and more…

A skatepark and BMX ramps
FREE SHIT!

Listen, it’s Afro-punk hotdammit and if you don’t know by now its because you don’t belong up in there getting down. This year is gonna be the most major Affro-Punk Festival ever but you gotta copp tickets.

Posted in 5 Elements, Black Bullshit, Blipsters = Hipsters, Crappers, Fanboy Ish, Fashion Faux Pas, Hollyweird, iNternets Celebrities, Ninjas, Social Upheaval, T.O.N.Y. | No Comments »

One Day It Will All Make Sense…

Monday, June 14th, 2010

elemental

Just prA’li not in our lifetime tho’…

While the Gulf of Mexico will be fucked the fuck up for a long ass time there is some other shit we have been fucking up since the G Dubbz administration. Namely, Afghanistan.

Afghanistan seemed like a shithole to me. Especially when you looked at all those pics from the days of their war with the Russians. I mean yeah, they have hell’a poppy fields and that helps the heroin dealers move horse like a mother, but do we need to keep losing American lives so the Amy Winehouses and Lindsay Lohans can stay lifted? My problem was that I wasn’t using the molecular microscopes that the Pentagon has in effect.

Afghanistan looks like a land filled with deserts of sheepherders when in reality they might be one of the richest nations on the planet. All that bombing we have done to the Afghan terrain in search of, er, yeah, has uncovered a vast wealth of mineral resources that were previously unaccounted for. Something to the tune of trillions of dollars in mineral wealth. Iron, copper, gold, cobalt and LITHIUM. Wait until the Energizer bunny hears about all the lithium they have in Afghanistan. And you know that dude doesn’t stop beating his war drum for nothing.

He just keeps going, and going, and going…

The Gulf of Mexico? That shit will be clean enough to drink from in a few years and life will return to that region.

Afghanistan? Not so much.

Posted in 5 Elements, 5000, Black Bullshit, C.R.E.A.M., Harpers Weekly Review, HUFF YOU!, Politricks, Social Upheaval, The Addict, Wig Owners | 2 Comments »

Ghetto Big Mac III Coming Soon…

Tuesday, June 8th, 2010

fry king

If you think the Internets Celebrities are resting on their laurels after the critical success of ‘Stadium Status’ you are sorely mistaken. The final episode of the Ghetto Big Mac trilogy is the next target for a shooting schedule. But first, what will be GBM-3?

Ghetto Big Mac is legendary (Oh snizzap! Peep the tag ‘nigger’)

And the Futuristic Brunch is a slept on classic.

So the question remains… What is the final Ghetto Big Mac movie?

Posted in 5 Elements, Black Bullshit, Fanboy Ish, Hollyweird, HUFF YOU!, iNternets Celebrities, No Boutros Boutros... Ghali, Social Upheaval, Straight Laced | 23 Comments »

Beware Ebirah!

Tuesday, June 8th, 2010

ebirah

I’m not so much worried anymore about all the animals who are being killed by the Gulf Oilpacalyse as much as I am worried about the animals we are creating.

I remember that Godzilla had to fight this giant lobster one time. So I went to the web to find out who that creature was and it turns out the nemesis was actually a giant crayfish called Ebirah.

ebirah

Crawdads are something like the official fish of Louisiana.

Now the story takes on some super awesome ecological allegory and British Petroleum is the badass greedy corporation that unleashes the monster. We need a Steven Speilberg, Joel Schumacher or Michael Bay to jump on the production of this shit ASAP.

The late great Spy magazine said that helicopters, explosions and dinosaurs are all the components you need to create a summer blockbuster movie. In that case this flick is almost writing itself.

ebirah

The real life irony is that oil is literally the liquid remains of life on this planet. Animals and plants fused together under incredible pressure and time immemorial.

Maybe Ebirah is just an agent of the Earth sent by his angry mother to put a correction to an addiction that we all suffer from?

ebirah

Posted in 5 Elements, 5000, Black Bullshit, C.R.E.A.M., Fanboy Ish, Harpers Weekly Review, Hollyweird, Social Upheaval, Weird Science, When I Reminisce... | 4 Comments »

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