Archive for the ‘Combat Jack’ Category

Easy Like Sunday Morning…

Monday, June 15th, 2009

cj kids

Chocolate Snowflake has a side grind almost as crazy as my own. She make jewelry and travels around the city to different street fairs to sell her wares. That shit can be taxing when after you work a 9-2-5 week you work 12 hours a day on the weekends. That’s what this weekend was like for her. I did my Sneaker Fiends Unite! NYC tour on Saturday (shouts to JaiSlayer) and then I hung out with the wifey status on Sunday since her jewelry making partner flaked out.

I brought out my CHEA t-shirts and my I.C. DVD’s. None of which sold though. Being an iNternets Celebrity was a bit humbling on this afternoon in NYC. We were posted up on Bleecker Street in the West Village. I was hopeful that someone in the thousands of people that would stroll by us today would recognize me and buy something. Bupkus. I wasn’t disappointed however because I did get a visit from the homey Combat Jack who happened to be in the area with the wife and some of the kids.

cj kids

I needed to chop it up homeboy too. There’s talk that we are going to throw a barbecue on July 18th for the internets. Something just for the bloggers and those that read the blogs. I’m imagining that there will be some folks in town since the NYC leg of Rock The Bells is the following day on Sunday. With only a month to go we need to plan this event for serious. Combat Jack has crazy visions but we need to get some concrete shit in place if this joint is gonna happen.

In the meantime his kids just handled their business by being kids and looking cute. His daughter is an angel in the streets so she must be hell at home surrounded by boys who cater to her every whim. She was ordering me around too. His youngest son is my homey though. He was telling me the story about his girlfriend at school and how they share peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for lunch. I was iike “Whoa homeboy! Slow down with all that”. Brooklyn kids move fast though.

cj kids

Shit gets so real when you put kids into your cipher. C.S. and I love to travel, to dine out, to do our thinga-thing on a whim with no worries other than the fact that we might run out of cash. All that shit changes once you start making people. Either that or our grinds have to become supernatural. I might have to blackout on this blog shit and start posting advertisements from the armed forces.

So I salute all of y’all out here making more people.

That’s what we were put on this planet for in the first place.

Combat Jack, holler at me on some real shit about this barbecue.

cj kids

Respect His Eminence…

Friday, May 15th, 2009

em

Are you ready for your Daily Mathematics?

For several years this weblog has existed I have tried to explain that the essence of rap could be described by using a mathematical formula. Rap is a hyper-evolved level of communication using music, melody and mnemonic devices. This is why it is loved all across the globe. The greatest achievement of the human species is our ability to communicate on the highest level with speech. If we only had body movements and yelling we would have never have invented Twitter.

I think that the highest level of rap artistry is contained in the artists that frequently use polysyllabic words. The complex compound words can contain several meaning all at once based on the root of the word and the context it is delivered. The artist commonly considered to be the best rapper of all time was the master of injecting his rhyme speech with polysyllabic words. These phrases bent and stretched his rhymes well past the verse they were spoken in and put them into the stratosphere as some of the most used quotes spoken in the Hip-Hop culture.

The most important word to an emcee is polysyllabic – microphone.

‘Nuff said.

Eminem’s latest album ‘Relapse’ is fantastic for it’s graphic gory content. This album is part of the great history of epic entertaining horror-core productions. This album is rap’s ‘Nightmare On Elm Street’. It is horrific, disgusting, profane, satirical and brilliant all at the same time. Lyrically, I consider this to be on a classic level. If the beats by Dr. Dre were swapped out for some of the dark production of DOOM, or more appropriately RZA, this album would be a certified classic. This drop though is to discuss the lyrical eminence of Eminem. A reader stated that this album was garbage. I don’t believe that reader listened to this album or if he did his ability to judge art is negligible.

This album is the VAN GOGH of rap music. The fact that Eminem even referred to himself as VAN G adds to his lyrical prowess. The heartbroken madman who has gleefully crossed the line into insanity is vividly painted in story format as well as open form rap braggadocio. I asked the reader to offer an album that contained better lyrics than ‘Relapse’. His offering was Lil’ Wayne’s ‘The Carter II’. That should already tip you off to the fact that this reader is a da-dunn da-dunt. Lil’ Wayne’s ‘The Carter II’ is actually Wayne’s best album. As I scanned over the album looking for a track to do a cross-reference comparison to I looked for songs that had similar lengths to the unusually long tracks posted on ‘Relapse’. I decided to use the track ghost-written by Juelz Santana called Tha’ Mobb.

As a repayment for Santana’s skills on this song I believe Wayne introduced Juelz to syrup.

wayne

Tha’ Mobb

Wayne uses 853 words in this song. Thirty(30) are polysyllabic. The longest being promethezine clocking in a strong twelve(12) letters. The key number in all of these stats though is the percentage of polysyllabic words to the entire composition. Wayne’s final numbers were 3.5169/1000. That is the percantage of polysyllabic words his verses would contain per 1000 words. Big Daddy Kane averages about the same. Kane is loved and feared, but no one, not even Kane himself, calls him the greatest rapper alive. Hyperbole lives and his name is Lil’ Wayne.

em

3am

The Eminem song I used is the comically violent 3am. This song had the same run time as Lil’ Wayne’s Tha’ Mobb (5mins 21sec). Eminem uses only 769 total words but forty-eight(48) of them are the 3+ syllable variety. The longest polysyllabic word in this murderous rap rampage was the thirteen(13) letter hallucinogens. Eminem was obviously on something extra to have the mind to craft this masterpiece. The average percentage of polysyllabic words per 1000 for Eminem is 6.2418 and approaching twice that of Lil’ Wayne. My point in all of this is to illustrate that the Relapse album is far from garbage no matter how you look at rap music. It merits your highest consideration for the lyrical content contained therein. And at the end of the day, instead of flow and swagger, shouldn’t lyrics matter most in RAP music?

BTW, Rakim Allah’s percentage on ‘Microphone Fiend’ was 7.272 and this is why we call him the G.O.A.T.

Additional background reading for those of you just tuning in to Dallas Penn…

Crap Music Is Making You Stupiderer…

G.O.A.T. Classic Rap Jam Cage Match…

All Day I Dream About Syllables…

More mathematics shenanigans @ DP…

Ghetto Celebrity Math Is For The Children…

Nerdcore Maximus…

Sunday, May 10th, 2009

nerdcore

I saw Star Trek 2009 with Chocolate Snowflake last night. The movie was excellent Hollywood fanfare deserving of the hype and praise being lavished upon it. I’ve decided to rename the flick ‘U.S.S. Enterprise: Origins’ since that is essentially what the story acts as. J.J. ABRAMS did a masterful job of incorporating the favorite fanboy elements with a new flavor for the folks that might not have been too familiar with the classic O.G. television program.

Combat Jack has a review posted on his site that I thoroughly co-sign so I won’t waste your time by duplicating tasks. Instead I will use what is left of my fried green tomato brain cells to discuss some of the upcoming blockbuster films being released in the next few weeks.

  • The Terminator franchise gets back to fighting off the techno dystopia with Batman’s CHRISTIAN BALE cast as the always under duress John Connor.
  • While the Transformer franchise is sure to have the most explosions of any film this summer with their Rise of the Fallen sequel (this flick is my 4-star sleeper, but I’m also admittedly biased)
  • Land Of The Lost starring WILL FERRELL looks to have some laughs for the whole family. DANNY McBRIDE along for the ride can’t hurt this film.
  • Night At The Museum brings back the original cast for more faux-historical hijinks. I think I will pass on this one since Blacks are always omitted from the historical context. Pasty skinned Egyptians? Stiller please?!?
  • I won’t see Harry Potter because that shit is gheyer than a bag of dildos at the bus terminal bathroom.
  • G.I. Joe will challenge the Transformers sequel for explosions in a feature film. The CGI for this is looking reee-derky. I have to see this film but it might end up being a PU~.
  • I’m considering the remake of ‘Taking Of Pelham 1,2,3’ because I like the work that DENZEL and TRAVOLTA have produced over the course of their careers. I have to wait for C.S. to have the OG movie NetFlix’d to her crib for a preview screening.
  • Now in the meantime and in between time I will try to cook up something retarded from my filmmaking adventuers…

    Which one of these pics says that I have truly lost my mind? I’m digging the last one.

    Literally!

    LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

    booger vision
    booger vision
    booger vision
    booger vision

    SNEAKER FIENDS UNITE!

    Friday, May 1st, 2009

    dp

    Tomorrow is the first Saturday of the month. This typically means I hold it down in the Brooklyn Museum of Art for their Target 1st Saturdays program. The music has been so shitty lately that I haven’t bothered going to the museum. They are playing the movie ‘Pee Wee’s Big Adventure’ though so I may walk across the street just to watch that.

    Speaking of a big adventure, who walks in Brooklyn?

    dp

    Buckshot Shorty, he sounds like an automatic…

    dp

    The new Brooklyn dad. He looks like Combat Jack.

    I was thinking about have a Sneaker Fiends Unite! NYC tour, but not unless we have more than five (5) people.

    Sheeeeeit, I can always go sneaker shopping by my lonesome.

    dp

    Dunk premiums are on sale right now. The pricepoints range from $40 to $60, but if we put our paper together we can negotiate some serious deals.

    I just caught these Tampa Skate Park SB’s for $60 after I put on my super haggle steez of show an go. Show your money and then act like you are going to walk out of the store. Cash rules everything around us and that is how deals are made.

    dp

    By a show of hands let me know if you are trying to make the rounds tomorrow.

    Reminiscing About Brooklyn…

    Wednesday, March 11th, 2009

    j.o.

    JOELL ORTIZ has dropped a couple of nice tracks onto the internets as he prepares to release a mixtape sampler of him spitting over some of Hip-Hop’s classic beats. Give a listen to his T.R.O.Y. tribute…

    JOELL wouldn’t be true to his Brooklyn roots without sending out a kite to B.I.G.

    Speaking of Brooklyn and B.I.G., the dudes that do the monthly event Hip-Hop Karaoke will be holding their annual tribute to the Notorious B.I.G. on Friday night at SouthPaw in Park Slope. Are you a fan of Biggie? Here is your chance to shine as you hold the mic and spit one of the greatest rappers joints.

    SouthPaw
    125 5th Avenue, BK
    doors open 9pm

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