Knuckles goes in [ll]! – pix courtesy of 215 magazine
I talk a lot of shit on this website about how crazy my life gets because it really does get that bananas. One of my longtime DP.commenters was in NYC and decided to take me up on my challenge. SIMON is from Amsterdam, Holland so he knows a thing or two about partying, but he has never hit the streets with DP2FTV. This is the realest reality show evar.
Our first stop was the Patron mixer at the Penthouse Lounge. Free Patron. Free food. And a gaggle of ladies in hooker heels and dresses with no drawls on. This is Monday night in NYC. Which is the new Friday if you ask me.
After at least a ten rounds apiece SIMON and I motivated to the Roots crew jam session at the Highline Ballroom. I’m tired of telling you to go to the Highline Ballroom to catch an evening of the Roots residency there. You could set yourself up for one of the best nights you ever had. Highline’s kitchen remains open during the show and the bartenders are typically heavyhanded.
The Roots have been doing their thing for so long it is almost easy to take them for granted. I try not to because I imagine that the day I sleep on these dudes they will fly off a spaceship that will be too legendary. This session featured my homey JOELL ORTIZ. He was the first rapper to get on the stage and pay homage to the Roots crew. I thought that was a great look by him. Hip-Hop was definitely in the building.
I talk about Black Thought so much that I am embarrassed I haven’t mentioned the skills of Truck North and Dice Raw. I watched Dice Raw hold the microphone with a confidence that comes from being a true veteran emcee. Dice Raw reminded me of the days when the Legendary would come to NYC and tear down classic venues like the Wetlands and Tramps.
It hasn’t stopped for me in over twenty years. Yeah, I’m starting to show some rust, but I’m still hanging out there with some of the all-time greats and the young, up and coming players.
I was originally slated to be at a staff meeting for this internet radio station. The only problem with that maneuver is that they never took me seriously enough to put a real deal in front of me. The kid needs new sneakers once a month and I still gotta keep the lights on and the roof over my head. Maybe another offer will come to my inbox. But in the meantime and in between time I will be getting it in.
My first stop was to scope out this joint being thrown by VitaminWater. The main reason was for me to get like a palette of free VitaminWater for the crib. That shit tastes like diluted Kool-Aid but I don’t care when its free. The VitaminWater joint was on some exclusy, velvet rope type shit. These be some of the corniest parties in NYC. Too many stargazers trying to eyefuck actual celebrities. No RSVP status for the internets celebrities. I kept it moving.
The next spot was the Antenna x Mighty Healthy party. Folks was getting it in early at this spot. By the time I got there people were already into their second round of drinks. That’s never a problem for me though since I automatically double fist [ll]. The obama was an off-brand name vodka which made a decent Cranberry mix, but an even tastier screwdriver. That would be my drink for the rest of the night. My Twitter frenemy ERICKA MITTS was up in that piece along with XXL’s CARL CHERY. My surprise internets homey for the night was this dude Sublicon who won the DP.com NFL football pool this past year.
The Antenna mag party was cool as shit but everyone there at that moment knew that the real popoff was the Complex magazine joint on Spring Street. Let’s just say it was understood that if you wanted to be a winner that evening you had to have your face up in there. You all know that DP is a winner and one of the most triumphant boozehounds of our generation. I had a couple more rounds of free vodka on Antenna’s dime before I swooped down to Spring Street where the Complex party was at.
Oh shit! The line outside of the Complex party was brawlick. Madd fools was standing around in that silent pose hoping to get chose by the chicks holding the clipboards. I walked up to the front of the ropes. This is the quick way to play yourself out of position. If you get shut down by the gatekeepers it happens in full view of all the other folks trying to get in. Good for me that I have friends with pull. Complex mag’s JOE LA PUMA zooped me in the spot with no delay. It was on like popcorn.
ONSmash’s Hoffa, LowkeyUHTN, Consequence, 88Keys, Mighty Casey, Che Guerilla, Hobbs, the Rosenthal brothers plus madd P.R. firm chicks and free Svedka vodka. It was disgusting. Drinks were being spilled, people were dancing on the couches and the best part was when KanYe’s ‘Flashing Lights’ blared from the speakers JOE LA PUMA held his Air Yeezy’s high in the sky. Complex parties are typically splashy anyhoo, this joint was particularly bananas. I can’t say why but it was just wildly energetic and festive.
Shouts to Mighty Casey and JASON ‘Che Guerilla’ NEGRON for knowing the key to hanging out is not being the last ones left in the party. After an hour or two we boogied out of the Complex joint and motivated back up to the Mighty healthy party for their 2nd Half. The bar was reopened at 12mid and the free vodka was still in effect. The second half of the Mighty Healthy shindig went up into outerspace like the Complex party was.
JUJU from the Beatnuts was getting literally lowdown for his. Sonn was dipped in ‘Lo from his head down to his toes. MICHAEL RAPPAPORT even made a cameo. My PU~ of the evening was in not politicking with RAPPAPORT especially since I heard he was producing a television series that needed writers. Blame it on the a-a-a-a-a-a-alcohol. Mighty Healthy’s spokesmodel 40Diesel had the VIP area locked down. He and I left the Mighty Healthy bash when the obama was declared a wrap at about 2am. We know well enough to let the kids with no jobs stick around until last call.
Plus the best part of any wild obama night is the Gray’s Papaya as the closeout.
shouts to my boy SERG on the camera and his wifey status DANIELLE
Last night’s Jam Session with the Roots at the Highline Ballroom was a damp affair.
Imagine the smell of soaking wet frat boy, Pabst Blue Ribbon beerfarts, the stinkiest, most delicious white boy weed and ether dripping from the microphones.
I have a few clips from the show but the very best part I couldn’t film because 1) some frat boys got me lifted, 2) I was getting my DP 2-step Harlem shake right.
I climaxed [ll] after ?uestlove began a drum solo which morphed into a Fela Kuti cover which then transformed into a high-speed, funky drummer rendition of Kool G Rap’s ‘Men At Work’. It was so brilliant and dazzling that I don’t think a video camera could convey the energy and vibrations of the moment.
I may have seen the Roots perform ten thousand times at this point, but I am always transfixed by their improvisation and their willingness to humble themselves for their craft. Tickets are available to the upcoming shows at the Highline Ballroom. I’ll be there. So should you…
