Archive for the ‘BeYONCE’s Hair’ Category

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FUX YO’ ROBOT!

Monday, March 8th, 2010

skynet

We all know that one day soon SkyNet will shit all over your steez with their automated drones along with their illuminati clones.

From time to time there have been little hints dropped at us from inside of the matrix.

Y’all remember when BeYonce came out as the Bootybot aka the Coochieclone.

beyoncebot

The robots will put their foot on humanity soon enough. Some humans will welcome them inside of their humanity.

Rihanna went from fuxing with a Michael Jackson clone to getting fingerbanged by a robot.

reboot
reboot
reboot

And then while she took on another robot she got her faced creamed on.

And then she swallowed it.

WTF?!?

Fux these robots!

Posted in 5000, BeYONCE's Hair, Black Bullshit, Ghetto Celebs, H.A.M., Ho Sit Down!, Lust = Love, Weird Science, Wig Owners | 18 Comments »

Stylin’ On ‘Em Since…

Sunday, March 7th, 2010

d x mo

The first actual baby shower I have ever gone to was yesterday. I’m trying to remember why I never went to a baby shower. I know girls that have had babies. I have even gotten girls pregnant. Those women ultimately did the smart thing and terminated those seeds. I’m a liitle sad that I’m such a selfish man. I will prA’li die alone. Suffocated by shoeboxes.

One time I had a beautiful girlfriend who let me style her in the flyest sample shit and other outfits that I found in thrift shops or wherever. She was a stallion tho’. You have to let a stallion run wild. You can’t put them in a cage. I wanted her to be my own private mannequin. Part of the thing that I loved about her was how she would walk into a room and shut shit down.

I also loved that niggas felt some kind of way that my bitch was badder than theirs. My problem is that I’m too selfish. Everything I do is about me. Most people eventually get tired of neurotic, controlling, maniacal personalities. Maybe I do that to folks so that they can leave me the fux alone. I don’t need to date a woman. I need to marry a mannequin.

d x mo

Posted in BeYONCE's Hair, Black Bullshit, Ghetto Celebs, Lust = Love, No Boutros Boutros... Ghali, Sneaker Fiends United, The Addict, When I Reminisce... | 6 Comments »

FOXY BROWZ…

Saturday, March 6th, 2010

foxy browz

I read an iHipHop article about Foxy Brown and Ron Browz working together in the studio and my mind immediately lit up.

Can you imagine a reality show with crazy ass Fox Boogie and the auto-tuned one hit wonder Ron Browz?

rantwit

These two meatballs would try to start a business. An eyebrow threading salon in Harlem called ‘Foxy Browz’. I think they would have to put some African chicks in there to do braiding as well. Of course, they would have a recording studio in the back.

So where do I go to when I have these moments of unmitigated pop culture creativity? TWitter, natch. This is where I like to go to ruminate on issues of the day.

rantwit

Or whatever shit just pops into my head [ll].

rantwit

But mostly I just talk my shit. To be perfectly 1000 with y’all, TWitter and the loss of my video camera is the reason this blog fell the fux off.

140 characters (spaces included) >>> 600 word drops

Maybe that isn’t entirely the truth, but TWitter is globalized text message catharsis and trust me that you will want to be on TWitter when the Oscars are awarded. Watching an awards show while logged on to TWitter is like sprinkling your Newport 100 with cocaine. That shit turns into a 1000000millie.

rantwit

If you tried to follow me on TWitter using the sidebar on this site you would have wound up at my previous TWit ID. I change them joints like my underwear. Okay, I change my drawls more often, but I keep it moving on TWitter. You can find me now @Rant_Sum, but I am already preparing my latest TWit ID – @Google_Blax. I’m saving that shit tho’ for the return of the Blax Headroom show.

Just know that I keep my priorities posted.

rantwit

Posted in 5 Elements, BeYONCE's Hair, Black Bullshit, Crappers, Ghetto Celebs, Harpers Weekly Review, Hollyweird, Ninjas, T.O.N.Y., Weird Science | 10 Comments »

Queen’s Day In Kings County…

Saturday, March 6th, 2010

nefertiti

Tonite is the Target 1st Saturday event at the Brooklyn Museum of Art. 1st Saturday is always filled with music, art and energy. The dance party for this evening looks like a winner. They’ve got a real deejay and she is going to focus on highlighting the women of soul and rap music.

I expect there to be a gang of sexy high heels walking around the building. Museum chicks >>> club chicks. Actually, they are all one in the same except when club chicks go to the museum they are better behaved. Bring your flask fellas because tonite will be one of THOSE nights.

NB1300

In honor of Nefertiti and the other African queens that will be present at this event I am popping tags on a crisp pair of New Balance 1300s. These joints were made in England. Polo Ralph Lauren will also be in effect as you might imagine.

If you aren’t doing anything later on and you can afford the free cover charge of zer-0 dollars and zer-0 cents you should fall through the Brooklyn Museum of Art. The event begins at 5pm but the dance party doesn’t start until 9pm.

I went looking for an image of my sneakers and I came across a pic of this colorway NB1300s. I have to find these joints now. These are definitely ‘Blu Cheez’.

blu cheez

Posted in 5 Elements, BeYONCE's Hair, Black Bullshit, Blipsters = Hipsters, Fashion Faux Pas, Ghetto Celebs, Lust = Love, Sneaker Fiends United, Straight Laced, T.O.N.Y., The Addict, When I Reminisce..., Wig Owners | 4 Comments »

Women’s History Month: Trina Is A Snitch…

Wednesday, March 3rd, 2010

trina

March is Women’s History Month. So I thought I could post a few drops about the women in the rap game right now and where they fall in the historical canon of rap music.

Okay, that was all bullshit. I just read this article over at iHipHop.com about how Trina was working with the FBI to help her recover her stolen cell phone after naked pictures of her were posted on the internets. I’m not going hard to find naked pictures of Trina tho’. Maybe the NahRight fam will have the links.

My whole point to this drop is that Trina, formerly the baddest bitch, is now the biggest snitch. Who puts naked pics of themselves on a cell phone and then gets all bent out of shape when those pics are leaked to the public? You obviously wanted someone to see them? I don’t even look at myself totally naked. I turn off all the lights before I take off my t-shirt.

So now Trina is cooperating with the feds to get her phone back from the person holding it for ransom. This is NOT what a gangsta bitch does. Lil’ Kim never snitched and she went to the clink. Remy Ma wasn’t a snitch either and she is going thru it in jail right now. Foxy Brown needed to be institutionalized because she was getting her ass beat in front of the Pink Houses. Trina fell off by going to the police.

Rap dudes and chicks be having the authorities on speed dial.

Posted in BeYONCE's Hair, Black Bullshit, Crappers, Ghetto Celebs, H.A.M., Wig Owners | 19 Comments »

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