Archive for the ‘BeYONCE’s Hair’ Category

The cRapper Y’all Love To H8…

Friday, November 13th, 2009

wale

I can understand why people don’t fux with Kid Cudi because his themes are darker and more delusional. I can understand why people don’t follow Asher Roth on a larger scale either because his shelf life appears to be somehow similar to a loaf of white bread. But all the h8 that gets thrown towards Wale baffles me. What did he do to y’all? His Mixtape About Nothing was on my 2008 year end list at the top and I never like to qualify mixtapes but Wale’s joint was definetly some of the best music to drop in a long while.

The report cards from XXL mags 2008 Freshmen class aren’t all submitted yet and frankly, I’m not checking for Ace Hood’s debut disk either, but between Asher Roth, Kid Cudi and now Wale’s debut ‘Attention Deficit’ I think you have a clear view of rap music for the next decade. Wale has created his own lane along with Cudi by not just pushing forth lyrics but also re-introducing go-go and afrobeat music to Hip-Hop. I think it works because Wale’s flow is a unique stop and go staccato.

Wale isn’t into over-rhyming like, say a Talib Kweli might on a track that featured a Fela Kuti sample. He’s in control and clearly thoughtful of how he wants his lyrics to be received. My only complaint for this debut album is that there isn’t enough of Wale in here. All the ideas he expressed on the Mixtape About Nothing are diluted by the number of guest features on this album. I feel like this project became a Mark Ronson disk highlighted by some Wale tracks. The album is still dope though and the tracks that I love are really, rwally good.

Triumph is the type of song that I would make Wale wear a ‘Coming To America’ lionhead sash in the music video for. 90210 is definitely that ‘Ye Tudda track. It makes me want to sniff some yayze and play Super Nintendo for 36 str8 hours. Prescription is a listen to the boastful Wale persona at his lyrical best. Wale is clearly the most talented rhymesayer from the XXL freshmen ’08 class. Let’s see what he does as a sophomore before we randmly h8 on dude.


Triumph


90210


Prescription

Lady Gaga Owes Cher A Check…

Wednesday, November 11th, 2009

cher

Cher is the OG drag queen songstress. Lady Gaga owes this chick a check for everything about her steez including her audience.

Lady Gaga is certainly the spectacle I will give her credit for that much as she makes her music videos the equivalent of attention grabbing trainwrecks.

I keep watching in hopes of catching a glimpse of the dead bodies strewn about. Oh shit, I think I just saw JonBenét Ramsey…

cher

Cher was an entertainment atomic threat because she could sing, dance and look effin’ hawt all at the same time. Lady Gaga is more along the lines of a Madonna-type popstar who is more proficient at taking still pictures and posing seductively as opposed to actually being a bonafide talent.

Plus, who in the game other than maybe BeYonce has as many wigs and butterfly wings as Cher does?

Exactly.

cher

The BeYONCE Factor Gets Crucial With ALICIA KEYS

Sunday, November 1st, 2009

a keys

I haven’t done a BeYonce Factor in a very long time. Mainly because no one can compete with her. She is like the Godzilla of pop music starlets. Who from her era hasn’t she crushed? Ashanti? Dead to me. Amerie, Ciara, Keisha Cole are all fractions of BeYonce. Even Christina Aguilera and Brittney Spears are washed up next to BeYonce. Who wuld dare try to rise up and challenge the current queen of R & Backside? It looks like we found a contestant in the homewrecking chanteuse ALICIA KEYS.

The internets have been buzzing with the story that ALICIA KEYS is dating Swizz Beats who is suppose dto be married or some shit. Waitaminnit? ALICIA KEYS dates guys? Swizz Beats dates women? I guess mutual beardism is the new beardism. *shrugs shoulders* ALICIA is also co-starring alongside Jay-Z in the music video anthem for New York City ‘Empire State of Mind’.

You folks remember how the BeYONCE Factor works don’t you? It’s really simple and here’s a quick rewind of the format for all of you folks scoring from home or the office…

Jig, spic and priveleged celebs will be rated on a scale for how close their game comes to that of the pinnacle of all jiggaboo goddesses – BeYONCE. In parentheses are the factors that give each candidate a high or low score depending on how we at the website rate them. If a subject does exceptionally well with a factor then they will receive the full allotment of points (100).

1) Can you say her name – (the more‘Black’ sounding the name of the candidate, the higher the number of points)
2) Can she pay her bills – (cash rules everything around us – does the candidate have any?)
3) Is she a survivor – (has the candidate had to endure scandal/controversy?)
4) Baby boy – (has the candidate ever had an abortion?)
5) Cater to you – (would you want a backrub from the candidate?)
6) Dangerously in love – (is the candidate in a relationship that can’t last?)
7) Bootylicious – (this should speak for itself)

Okay, so the criteria is established. Let’s see how ALICIA KEYS stacks up…

a keys

1) Can you say her name – Alicia is hardly as ghetto fab as BeYonce – 50pts
2) Can she pay her bills – Alicia holds down a gang of Grammy awards – 100pts
3) Is she a survivor – Alicia hasn’t had to fight through bad press from former bandmates – 0pts
4) Baby boy – No pregnancy rumors. Evar – 0pts
5) Cater to you – Alicia is fine as wine – 100pts
6) Dangerously in love – Alicia is rumored to have broken up Swizz Beats marriage – 100pts
7) Bootylicious – I’ll let the pic below answer that – 100pts

a keys

ALICIA KEYS only comes up with a total of 550 BeYonce Factor points when we include the 100pts she gets for being a superior actress to BeYonce, and even then that isn’t enough for her to topple Bey from her perch on the top.

Read this and weep ALICIA KEYS stans. BeYonce is still the boss of this shit.

Hilary Swank Is For The Kids…

Monday, October 26th, 2009

swanky

HILARY SWANK is one of my favorite actresses but I could swear she was 1/16th Black because of her features. That’s not why I digg her though. She is hot. She is like a hot tomboy who puts on makeup and then walks in the room and blows everyone away with her pizazz. Did I just say pizazz? You hotdamn right.

HILARY is catching some heat right now for an interview she made in which she admitted to being nude before her boyfriend’s 6yr old son. How lucky is this lil’ crumbsnatcher? I spend my every waking hour on the web searching for nude celebrity photos (females, natch) and HILARY SWANK is giving snatch shots to an audience that doesn’t even appreciate that goodness.

HILARY SWANK, I am giving you T-minus 10 seconds to walk nude in my dreams…

Reel Recognize Reel…

Friday, October 23rd, 2009

cmjeezy

^ 600lbs. of I.C.B.S. (ice cold blue steel)

Like I said in an earlier drop, shouts to Nah’Right and OnSmash for helping me get my dreams out by leading the way on the internets.

Think about this for a second…

A few years back eskay starts a website mainly for posting music that he fux with and talking about rap in a free and open environment. Nah’Right also grinds its ass off. Nah’Right becomes the pre-eminent website for new Hip-Hop music and they didn’t even cheat their way to the top by having a URL with the words ‘Hip’ or ‘Hop’ in it. No big deal. Just a kid from Yonkers on some rap shit. I’m not talking about Jadakiss or Styles P tho’. I’m talking about eskay.

OnSmash used the video player format to launch Hip-Hop music and culture into the future while other sites use their players to bring the culture backwards and downwards. You won’t see catfights, or anything that adversely describes Hip-Hop culture in an OnSmash player. Just real rap and the real people that move this thing. Nothing exploitative or degrading. How many other sites can claim that and would aim for that? Cupcakes bow down to Hof.

Anonymous heads on the internets can say some slick shit from their keyboards but Hof and eskay deserve their accolades for NOT selling out and keeping their sites true to the culture. Hip-Hop needed help to get to the year 2010 when we could see rappers from all different backgrounds with different styles get their exposure and their recognition. This wouldn’t have happened without the persistence, perserverance and power of the internets. Show yourself some effin’ respect.

Now here’s a video clip of the Internets Show featuring Dallas Penn as he does events during CMJ 2009 in NYC.

Chea!