Archive for the ‘BeYONCE’s Hair’ Category

Making Cents From The Senseless…

Tuesday, July 22nd, 2008

rick fox

Today’s drop is sponsored (but not really) by Victoria’s Secrets steel underwire bras for men and women and Patron Reposada. The orange fuckin’ box.

What if Foxy Brown and Rick Ross hooking up is an arranged marriage by the t.I.’s at Universal Music Group? And why not? The t.I.’s realize that the game needs a female rapper to step up and get some shine. Foxy Brown could be a hot commodity with her provacative looks (read: really bulbous breats) and her street cred at an all time high. The only problem is that Foxy has become somewhat institutionalized. If she is free to roam in the public sector then he is likely to throw a brick at someone who crosses her. Real talk is that homegirl needs supervision.

Step in another one of UMG’s properties , er, artists, Rick Ross. His background as a correctional officer might just provide the stablility that Foxy Brown needs to complete her next album. The correctional system in Florida is one of the most hardbody detention systems here in America. They are a privately owned corporation that can legally beat kids to death. Rick Ross hopefully won’t have to do that to keep Foxy in line, but if he did, he would get off all charges.

Rick Ross might be mad at Trick Daddy for exposing him as an federal agant but Trick Daddy has been on the other end of that coin as well, literally the wrong end. Peep his history with Detroit’s Trick Trick. It makes sense to me that a syndicate of corporations that own stock in the prison industrial complex would consign their employees to portray characters that would ultimately drive business upwards by helping to maintain the flow of inmates. It’s the hustle of the flow.

“The number of women in prison, a third of whom are incarcerated for drug offenses, is increasing at nearly double the rate for men. – The Sentencing Project

I’m certainly not going to blame rap music for this shit either, but it isn’t helping solve the problem. America puts too many people in jail. Period. Of course, there are the unsociable motherfuckers more 7:30 than the Joker, but the overwhelming majority of inmates are being held for non-violent crimes. And most of that is related to narcotics in some way. Why else do we continue to build jails if they aren’t profitable? Gas prices continue to escalate and car manufacturers don’t stop building automobiles either. I always wondered if Sunoco or Shell owned stakes (stocks) in Daimler-Benz?

This is what I mean by making sense of the senseless. If profit is the motivating force of capitalism then who stands to gain the most at the end of the day. Those are the dudes that run this rap shit.

** BONUS BULLSHIT **

The top 10 jail movies of all time…

Penitentiary

Coonskin

48 Hours

Escape From Alcatraz

Papillion

The Running Man

Fortress

The Shawshank Redemption

The Green Mile

And what was that movie with Niggerlas Cage?

POLITRICKS 2008: Life Imitating Reality Imitating Politics…

Tuesday, July 22nd, 2008

powell

I don’t dare say shit sideways about Brother KEVIN POWELL, lest I have an army of women in the entertainment industry blackball me for life and block all my forthcoming projects.

I’m not even going to push back on KEVIN POWELL’s candidacy for U.S. Congress. He is correct when he says that EDOLPHUS TOWNS should vacate his Congressional seat because of the lack of improvement of the lives of his longtime Brooklyn constituents, but doesn’t CHARLES RANGEL also need to retire from his post since the area in Manhattan that he presides over still has all the ills of poverty for the longtime residents living there?

KEVIN POWELL just doesn’t go deep enough. He can quote rap lyrics when he delivers his speeches and for some people that represents an authenticity and street credibility. To me that just says that he has listened to a few rap songs.

*shrugs shoulders*

If being able to rap was a qualifier for the African American politician of the future I have a candidate in mind that would serve New York better than KEVIN POWELL…

heather b

HEATHER B.

And why not?

HEATHER B. has the same ‘Real World’ pedigree as KEVIN POWELL. Sheeeeeit, they were both in the same season.

As for rap music, HEATHER B. was also affiliated with Boogie Down Productions. She released music that was about community building and anti-gun violence. Plus, she is a woman.

I would trust a Black woman politician way before I trust a Black man. I will even go so far as to say that if OPRAH were to become a politician then I would start watching her show. As it stands, OPRAH makes far too much money to get her hands dirty as a public servant, but if OPRAH’s husband GAYLE KING was to go into politics I would support her too.

KEVIN POWELL is part of the new politicos who know well enough to NOT get married. I have been to POWELL fundraisers and coat drives and parties and all I have to say is that he brings out more grey-green eyed lightskint ladies than a little bit. Lightskinded women that be so fine that you almost want to put them up there with a white woman. Almost. I’m just so tired of male politicians who fall from grace chasing the kooty cat. KEVIN POWELL’s constituency is way too fine for him to avoid getting caught up in a scandal.

I haven’t been to any HEATHER B. parties and frankly I don’t care to go to any since they might be populated with carpet munchers who wear lipstick. Honestly, I could care less who HEATHER B. schtups on her free time. Women that are about their political business don’t let sex get in the way. HEATHER B. may not go platinum but at least she keeps her pickle in her pants. That gets my vote.

Functionality In Fashion…

Wednesday, July 16th, 2008

lohans pants

Here’s a preview from LINDSAY LOHAN’s new clothing line.

She calls these leggings the Mr. President.

What kind of work could MONICA LEWINSKY have put in wearing a pair of these?

via OhWord

WIG OWNERS > WIG BRUSHERS: Big Hair Bands…

Monday, July 7th, 2008

prince

When the majority of folks think of rock music and hair bands their minds turn to groups like Whitesnake, Poison or Def Leppard. No one really considers that one of rock music’s greatest Wig Owners of all time is actually Prince. You can’t tell me that Prince doesn’t play rock music. And you certainly can’t argue that Prince doesn’t own hell’a wigs either.

Thanks to the magic of YouTube we can reminisce today on all of the great Wig Brushers that have become owners themselves under the tutelage of Prince.

Morris Day and The Time

time

The Time was the gold standard for Wig Brushers. These brothers threads were so mean and their basslines were so focused. The band’s percussionist (read: weedcarrier) even sported a bald head so you know he had to be thorough when it came time to get his brush on. A few years ago I saw the Time perform at the Brooklyn Academy of Music in honor of the 20th anniversary of the film ‘Purple Rain’. The band was still tight as fuck and Morris Day’s doo was fried, dyed and laid to the side, but the entire audience lost their shit when Jerome pulled out the mirror.

BTW, Jerome = one of the greatest Wig Brushers of all time.

* BONUS BEATS * BONUS BEATS * BONUS BEATS *

Only a group as awesome as the Time could have inspired this fantastically awful karaoke perfomance.

This is how that song should have sounded…

‘Fishnet’

Alexander O’Neal

alexander o'neal

Alexander O’Neal definitely had the chops to sing but I don’t think he had the temperament to brush wigs properly so Prince ended up taking back his wigs. O’Neal would still manage to get a wig with some help from other members of the Time. Peep the video for the classic jam ‘Fake’. You can see that O’Neal wasn’t too adept at keeping his own wig straight.


Mazarati

mazarati

How could these fools NOT be a hair band? Their album cover lets you know from the gate what they are coming into the game as. Prince’s OG wig brushing homey Brown Mark formed this group and they managed to crank out a couple of hits, notably ‘100 MPH’ and ‘Player’s Ball’.


Klymaxx

klymaxx

Everyone knows that Appolonia 6 and Vanity 6 were Prince’s wig brushing ladies, but Klymaxx was an all girls band produced by former Wig Brushers turned Wig Owners Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis. Klymaxx dropped several hits like the classic slow jam ‘I Miss U’ and ‘Meeting In The Ladies Room’. Klymaxx was fierce for real. Think of them as the female version of the Time. As chauvinistic as Morris Day was is as sassy as Bernadette Cooper gould get. Her ad libs are ridiculous. I give these ladies the most credit however for having the prescience to create their futuristic “No Homo” anthem titled ‘The Men All Pause’. [ll].


‘The Men All Pause’


‘Meeting In The Ladies Room’

*Universal Music disabled the embed codes for these broads videos. Wig Brushers be having a hard time recouping. Heaven forbid some people might actually get to see these videos that were produced. I found a low quality joint though. Eff it, let’s rock.

CAMEO

cameo

Seriously speaking, how could these negroes NOT go down as one of the all time great hair bands?!? These fools have a hairstyle named AFTER them. Show me a band called the Mullets!?! True story is that CAMEO were official Wig Owners. There was even dance called the Cameo Slide. These brothers were trendsetters in music and fashion. Thank GOD that the thighboots and the candy apple red codpiece never caught on. Word up to that.


‘Back And Forth’


‘Attack Me With Your Love’ (LP version)

Go Shawrly, It’s Ya’ Berfday!

Wednesday, July 2nd, 2008

1969

Happy new year to our homegirl 1969 who just celebrated the 18th anniversary of her 21st birthday.

Y’all fools need to recognize that 40 is about to be the new 21 up in this piece.

And that is after two seeds and the whatnot (er, husband).