If the eyes are the windows to one’s soul, then the eyebrows shouldn’t be looking all kinds of crazy like some big velvet curtains or some shit…
Archive for the ‘BeYONCE’s Hair’ Category
SECRET LIVES of GHETTO CELEBS
Wednesday, January 10th, 2007BILLY SUNDAY’s HOLIDAY PHOTO ALBUM
Saturday, January 6th, 2007
Your boy BILLY SUNDAY is back from vaycay as well and he’s up to his usual tricks. He and Mr. BLISTER spent the New Year in Singapore and I think I will have to hear about how southeast Asain chicks are the new azzcrack for the ’07.
You be the judge.
NOTE TO CIARA’s P.R. PEEPS…
Saturday, January 6th, 2007
I’m ready to make CIARA my new ‘It’ girl, but you folks need to send me a pic of her genitals first. I won’t publish the pictures to my audience and at least we can move forward.
I understand that she is supposed to have an extra large labia, and I’m cool with that. Hell, if her pussy lips are large enough to put lipstick on I think that’s sexy, but I am strongly opposed to making love to CIARA if she has a penis. Even a small one.
Let’s say she has a penis and twat… I’m still opposed to having sex with her, although I don’t think that she should be stripped of her right to marry BOW WOW or MISSY ELLIOT or whomever is into that type of thing.
MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM SCARLETT JOHANSSON’s Crotchless Panties…
Sunday, December 24th, 2006
Whenever I think of Christmas I think of having a few days off from work to run around my apartment naked and chase my girlfriend. In the end Christmas is the celebration of childbirth. And how do you make a child in the first place (don’t answer this if your MARY CHENEY)?
If the infant baby JESUS could chose any womb to exit from I’ll lay odds that he’d chose one of these wombs that I want to enter…
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SCARLETT JOHANSSON After watching SCARLETT in ‘Match Point’ is when I knew I would have to get me some of that yum-yum-ooo-tang. She was licking her lips and rolling her eyes and just playing the role of a sexy whore. I was never really checking for her too tough at first because she didn’t have an azz as plump as ANGELINA, and she didn’t have that ‘Norway stunner’ look that UMA rocks, but now I have come full circle and I’m giving mad props to Ms. JOHANSSON. |
| CIARA Remember when everybody was saying that CIARA had a penis? It turned out that she has an extra large labia which isn’t even that uncommon after all. Plus you know Bow Wow was too busy fucking around with video games and toys instead of wearing this young tail out like he should have been. CIARA is begging to be worn out like a pair of Payless pumps. She wants you to throw her around and pee on her six pack stomach. Good for you CIARA that I just drunk four cups of green tea and my bladder is having wild spasms. Let’s bang it up lil’ mama. |
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TRICIA HELFER a/k/a Number 6 This is my little futuristic intergalactic cyborg beat box. If you aren’t fucking with Battlestar Galactica yet you need to get up on that shit. This chick alone makes the program worth watching. She’s a total cocktease and a kick azz malevolent bitch all wrapped up in the same package. The best part is that she’s a robot so if you wanted to azz rape her with a leather belt around her neck it wouldn’t be a crime, because technically, robots aren’t considered human even if they have a soul. |
| SANAA LATHAN A few years back DENZEL turned out this little fine piece of chocolate tail so badly that she had to go get ‘Something New’. SANAA filled the void in Black cinema that NIA LONG had on smash in the early 1990’s. I’m not saying that NIA motherfucking LONG couldn’t still get her weave pulled while I aired her out from behind, but SANAA is just a little more sexy with her clef chin. In my book a clef chin = cum cup. |
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VANESSA WILLIAMS Ugly Betty’s boss, VANESSA WILLIAMS, is forever my lady like that Jodeci song, except I won’t be kidnapping her and burning Newport cigarettes on her nipples like Mr.Dalvin does, allegedly. She was my first Valentine love. I’ve been patiently waiting for VANESSA for over twenty years and I will wait another twenty if that’s what it takes for her to be mine. I can see myself giving Miss America (that’s what I call her) a sponge bath when she’s 80. She is going to be fine for all of eternity. |
DIDDY’s LITTLE GIRLS…
Friday, December 22nd, 2006
My bad if I have seemed like somewhat of a grinch during the holiday season. Here’s some good news to take home with you this weekend. PUFF DIDDY, The King of All Jigs, is a daddy once again now that KIM PORTER has given birth to twin baby girls. We here at the site would like to congratulate DIDDY and wish a speedy recovery to his babies’ momma.
Being good friends of PUFF DIDDY in the sense that we plan to work for him one day (no FONZWORTH BENTLEY) we thought we might advise him on the naming of his new queens. Please NO JIG NAMES. How about KAITLYN and KRISTIN, or maybe even KARIN. Something with a ‘K’ to give KIM a shout, but at the same time something that a white would be comfortable with.
Not that KEISHA or KASSIE aren’t… Kool, but c’mon DIDDY if everyone in America named their kids KATELYN and Black kids still weren’t able to get into good schools then we might have an argument with Yale’s admissions department.