Jay-Z and his alleged wife BeYonce are reported to be allegedly expecting their first child. Their. Alleged. First. Child.
I remember reading some story on the internets about how BeYonce had to terminate a pregnancy since the baby daddy was some loser from her hometown in Texas. It’s also hard to believe no scheming chick hasn’t secured a seed from Shawn Carter.
So if this moment is actually true it is monumental and historic for all the fans of these two megastars. Who may or may not be married. Only time will tell if BeYonce is actually with child, but in the meantime and in between time we can do what the internets is famous for…
Giving people advice they didn’t ask for.
Over 126,000 kids were born in New York in 2009. This is a list of the 10 most popular names.
If the Jay-Bey child is a boy it would be too obvious to name him Jayson huh?
How about Shawonce? Any real African-American can tell you this name works for both a boy or a girl.
I like Singladeeshia for a girl, or maybe even Rocasia.
I’m sure whichever name the alleged couple chooses will be filled with the creativity they have brought into the entertainment industry.
I haven’t enjoyed Fifty’s music as much as I enjoy his spectacle. No one has the same drive for controversy that Fifty has where you see them actively seeking out confrontation like he does. Fifty is also engaging and charismatic too. I would like to see what his day entails on a regular basis. He has all of these mini-empires to attend to while making records. I imagine Fifty Cent to be a more hands-on mogul than Jay-Z is. Fifty seems like the guy that wants to personally hand the checks off to his subordinates so he can look them directly in their eyes and gauge their loyalty. Don’t forget how Fifty creamed on Young Buck when he learned that Buck was being disrespectful towards Fifty on some downlow squirrelspeak shit.
A few weeks ago Jay-Z threw a salvo over Fifty’s bow when he said that “No one is scared of Fifty Cent.”. That was clearly a shot at Fifty’s remarks re: KanYe’s VMA interruption. This rap shit has become a queer, melodramatic soap opera where the raptors have a generic Pavlovian response whenever someone mentions their name.
Fifty’s claim that he is the king of New York doesn’t even take into consideration the real king, NYC mayor Michael Bloomberg, shut down Fifty this summer for his planned and overhyped ’40 projects homecoming’. Didn’t Fifty grow up in a house with his grandmother? Fifty was never a dude to let the truth ruin the hype. Bullet fragments become nine shots and grandma’s house becomes a New York City public housing development. What happens tho’ when all of this hype exceeds the artistic output? Andy Warhol turns into Marc Kostabi.
Instead of vying for the kingdom Fifty needs to regain his street authority with another position, say Chancellor, Commissioner or Comptroller. In the rap game, kings lose crowns.
I haven’t done a BeYonce Factor in a very long time. Mainly because no one can compete with her. She is like the Godzilla of pop music starlets. Who from her era hasn’t she crushed? Ashanti? Dead to me. Amerie, Ciara, Keisha Cole are all fractions of BeYonce. Even Christina Aguilera and Brittney Spears are washed up next to BeYonce. Who wuld dare try to rise up and challenge the current queen of R & Backside? It looks like we found a contestant in the homewrecking chanteuse ALICIA KEYS.
The internets have been buzzing with the story that ALICIA KEYS is dating Swizz Beats who is suppose dto be married or some shit. Waitaminnit? ALICIA KEYS dates guys? Swizz Beats dates women? I guess mutual beardism is the new beardism. *shrugs shoulders* ALICIA is also co-starring alongside Jay-Z in the music video anthem for New York City ‘Empire State of Mind’.
You folks remember how the BeYONCE Factor works don’t you? It’s really simple and here’s a quick rewind of the format for all of you folks scoring from home or the office…
Jig, spic and priveleged celebs will be rated on a scale for how close their game comes to that of the pinnacle of all jiggaboo goddesses – BeYONCE. In parentheses are the factors that give each candidate a high or low score depending on how we at the website rate them. If a subject does exceptionally well with a factor then they will receive the full allotment of points (100).
1) Can you say her name – (the more‘Black’ sounding the name of the candidate, the higher the number of points) 2) Can she pay her bills – (cash rules everything around us – does the candidate have any?) 3) Is she a survivor – (has the candidate had to endure scandal/controversy?) 4) Baby boy – (has the candidate ever had an abortion?) 5) Cater to you – (would you want a backrub from the candidate?) 6) Dangerously in love – (is the candidate in a relationship that can’t last?) 7) Bootylicious – (this should speak for itself)
Okay, so the criteria is established. Let’s see how ALICIA KEYS stacks up…
1) Can you say her name – Alicia is hardly as ghetto fab as BeYonce – 50pts 2) Can she pay her bills – Alicia holds down a gang of Grammy awards – 100pts 3) Is she a survivor – Alicia hasn’t had to fight through bad press from former bandmates – 0pts 4) Baby boy – No pregnancy rumors. Evar – 0pts 5) Cater to you – Alicia is fine as wine – 100pts 6) Dangerously in love – Alicia is rumored to have broken up Swizz Beats marriage – 100pts 7) Bootylicious – I’ll let the pic below answer that – 100pts
ALICIA KEYS only comes up with a total of 550 BeYonce Factor points when we include the 100pts she gets for being a superior actress to BeYonce, and even then that isn’t enough for her to topple Bey from her perch on the top.
Read this and weep ALICIA KEYS stans. BeYonce is still the boss of this shit.
Two days after Rock The Bells and my homegirl from Complex is STILL talking about Tahiry’s ass.
Yes, Tahiry is fine. But Ice-T was also there with his model wife and she was dressed borderline inappropriate as she always is whenever she goes out in public.
CoCo is still the G.O.A.T. rapper wife in my opinion. Until rappers start stripping their wives nekkid onstage in front of a bunch of men that last smelled pussy at childbirth CoCo holds down the slot. At a Body Count show I watched Ice-T rip CoCo’s top off, throw her to the ground and simulate oral sex and anal rape with her. How fucking awesome is that? So much so that I paid to go to the show the following day.
Tahiry is definitely in the number two slot even though she doesn’t have the years on the strip that some of these other ladies have. Remember when Buffie the Body was able to charge people a premium just for her to walk through a party? Those were good times. I remember the days when the chicks that gave the super head were all writers for Black Beat.
Nowadays the asses are more manageable. Maybe this is another effect of the recession. Damn you Bernard Madoff! Since y’all dudes don’t give an eff about these Rock The Bells photos how about some exclusive shit from SlaughterHouse that premiered at the 1st Annual Bring Your Own Blogger BBQ?
SlaughterHouse calls this joint ‘Cuckoo’ and after you hear their verses you’ll know why.
