A 16yr old girl is trying to be the youngest person to circumnavigate the globe in a boat.
So let me get this straight… She pushes off in a sailboat and we wait the 3/4’s of a year to see if she gets back home? I wonder if she’s in cahoots somehow with the Balloon Boy? Who cares about this shit?
I personally think she is doing this stunt to fulfill some fantasy she has about having sex with a shark.
50 Cent – ‘Baby By Me (Remix)’
Heineken has a space in Black people lore similar to Hennessy. Neither of these products are the best at what they do, but Black folks can’t do without them (for the record: Heineken Dark >>> Modelo Negro). Therefore the Heineken Red Star Soul party was as bananas to get into as the Hennessy Artistry joint. Let’s also agree that a free concert with free Heineken on a Friday is as good as it gets.
The event was filled with celebrities who mixed things up with regular folks. That made the party real fun for me to watch because most Hip-Hop celebs occupy a weird space in stardom. Everyone loves to be acknowledged for creating content or art except when it comes to being recognized in a Hip-Hop setting you usually have to deal with people that are jealous of the success of your art and efforts. Some of the fans think that THEY should be in your shoes.
This is why I love being an internets celebrity. There isn’t anyone that knows me. And the folks that recognize me for my online efforts have a highspeed internets connection so they aren’t even the losers using dial-up. No wonder so many rappers are becoming internets celebrities. It’s way better than real world celebrity foe the simple fact that you save a grip on personal security expenses. Unfortunately, there is no red carpet for internets celebrities.
I did a Sneaker Fiends Unite! inspection on Wale and the boy checks out as always. I can’t even front like I have been fuxing with his music lately. After the ‘Mixtape About Nothing’ I have become lukewarm to him. He a cool dude tho’.
Apparently, Wale put the ‘high’ in Heineken.
While Melanie Fiona puts the fine in ‘foine’!
Randomness! Mario Lopez, but sadly no Lark.
It’s the Cons. G.O.O.D. Music in the building. Consequence be in the streets more than any rapper I can think of. ‘Don’t Quit Your Day Job‘ was tragically slept on. Don’t sleep on that next joint.
Is this chick from 3LW? And who the fux cares?!?
Why is this man smiling? Have the Knicks traded him to Cleveland?
His name is D-Nice. Taking out you suckas and you don’t know how he did it. Salute this man for being a creative force in Hip-Hop for over twenty years.
Clue Money > CLAW Money
Got milk?
Tyson still spending that Ralph Lauren money.
Slim what up?
Suicide it’s a suicide. Timm is trying to battle me on the lifestyle tip. Would someone please tell this man he does not want to test the champion.
Noz.
Watch out now. DeCep is in the building. Hail Meg!
Marvelous Mo is a good friend to this page. I’m happy that we became close because she is a real star. She recounts the time we worked the red carpet at the Hip-Hop Honors show and Mo went in on everyone that came through. Not as a grandstander but as a great interviewer, beautiful enough to disarm the most guarded celebs and unafraid to ask the tough questions. With each piece of press she creates her skills get sharper. Get familiar with Marvelous Mo. She is gonna blow… UP.
The homey PETE from Premium Laces hit me up on the TWitter and asked me would I call these new Nike Dunk Premiums for ladies.
I told PETE that they would naturally be called the ‘Dazzler’ Dunk Hi, appropriately named after the X-Men team member whose mutant ability is to convert sound vibrations into light and energy beams.
For crying out loud what more proof do you need than the fact that she even wore them on the cover of the issue in which she debuted?!?
And for the record, X-Men’s Dazzler >>> Adi Dassler
Editor’s note: A DP.com Martin Luther King Jr Holiday Weekend Black History Month classic…
In a few weeks we will all be under siege with another 28 days of Black Bullshit. Some of you take advantage of Black History Month to learn the names of some of your jig co-workers. That’s nice of you.
As a preemptive public service I thought we should create a guide to help people learn more about Black women according to the hairstyles they wear. The thing about Black women is that each different hairstyle comes with its own prerequisite attitude and lifestyle. This handy guide will help you choose a comparable Black female friend based on the style of her hair, and the best part is that she won’t even know how you knew so much about her.
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THE SKEEBALL I took this name from Byron Crawford because it’s so apropo. Skeeball head chicks are always unbalanced. Heaven forbid you are trying to get close to a bi-racial skeeball head girl. These chicks have too many issues to even begin to wrap your head around. |
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THE UPCHUCK Sometimes this style looks like a mini explosion at the back of someone’s head, but I think it’s meant to look somewhat Euro-casual. If the Black chick that has this hairstyle also wears a shaggy off the shoulder sweater I think you can trust her because she evidently doesn’t get out too much. |
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THE LIL’ BRO When the skeeball starts to grow back in hopefully the girls mind is also returning. By the looks of this sister and the rack she’s holding I would be down to talk some ‘Free MUMIA’ bullshit with her in the chance of scoring some pro African poon. |
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THE CURLY LIL’ BROHAM Here’s a look at the wet side of the Lil’ Bro style. Remember that girl group TOTAL? The lead singer had this haircut and she wasn’t gay after all. At least I don’t think so. Girls that sport curly lil’ brohams are cool to hang out with, but make sure you let them know from jump street that they have to pay their own tab. These chicks are saving money on styling by wearing this hairstyle so they can afford to pay for their own dinner. |
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THE CRAZY LIL’ BROTHER The name says it all when you meet one of these chicks. She’s one of those broads that had one of those ‘horrible’ long term relationships. She’s just getting her shit back together after a small stint in the pysche ward. Inside she’s a nice girl, but everything you say reminds her of the last dude. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT have sex with her. She will stalk your azz. |
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THE UNEMPLOYABLE Sometimes known as the W.I.C. check. Whoever wears this style I can guarantee you they don’t have a job or their own business, unless you call braiding hair in your kitchen ‘ghetto entreprenuerism’. The other thing that I can almost assure you is that this woman’s name has way too many vowels. Something like Starrkeysha. |
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THE SELF-EMPLOYED When you see this hairstyle you should understand the ambition that is contained in the wearer. She is a driven hard worker and she owns her own business. The question though is how many people want macrame knitted clothing? Not too many. If she could pore her energy and focus into a commodity that people wanted then maybe she might have enough money to pay for her own movie ticket. |
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THE STRIPPER BRAIDS This is what being self-employed is all about. Nobody tells her where to go or when to come (pun always intended). |
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THE O.G. FINGER WAVER I’d like to act like I don’t have an aunt that has this hairstyle, but I’m sure there is someone in Petersburg, Virginia related to me wearing this ‘do. |
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THE BLONDIELOCKS Whenever I see a lady wth her hair bleached out blonde I just shake my head. I don’t have conversations with these women because I imagine that their sensibilities and politics are all jacked up. Who was the one that told them their hair looked better blonde? And why did she believe them?!? |
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THE BOYGIRL BOY Quick message to parents… Stop making your sons look bitchmade with long hair. They’re boys and they aren’t supposed to be cute. |
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THE DOOBIE WRAP This is what you want to get next to fellas. Everything about this female is right on point. Long pressed hair, nice smile, and uh, nice kerbangers. You see she has a nice little fat on the back of her arms too so you know she can cook. I say bring some fried boneless chicken breasts over her house and a bottle of Reisling wine. When you get this sweet tender thing just a little drunk she will go down in you. At least that’s what her hairstyle is telling me. |
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THE DOOBIE DON’T Anytime you come across a chick with her style this tight my advice would be to leave her alone because she is gonna cost way too much money to keep up her hair and trust me all she thinks about is her hair. She’s in love with her hair because everyone compliments her on it. Her hobby is her hair. Her baby is her hair. If she has a child it is getting fed after her hair. |
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THE BLANGE DOOBIE Black women love to dye their hair this wild color that combines auburn and blonde streaks. I have taken to calling this hyrbrid hue Blange (pronounced blahnj). The really excessive women will also dye their eyebrows and try to match up their lipstick. You can’t tell her she isn’t fly either. She parlayed her community college experience into a civil service job and she balls out in Miami Beach every Memorial Day (yawwwn). |
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THE LION QUEEN Speaking of civil servants, let’s not forgot the wearers of the oversize box braids at the office. I wonder sometimes if actual African people look at Black Americans and laugh on the inside. |
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THE SHIRLEY TEMPLE DREAD Blue contacts? Nose earring? Looks like another charity case if you ask me. |
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THE NON-PROFIT Figuring out someone’s profession from looking at their hairstyle is one of my talents. This style is worn by most of the Blacks that have graduated from historically Black colleges and universities and now work at one of the countless educational and non-profit endowments that have been established to give these people with worthless degrees someplace to work. She shops at IKEA and makes you take your shoes off when you come in her house, but she smells so damn good its hard not to eat her up like a plate of collard greens and macaroni and cheese. |
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THE BONETURAL Combining LISA BONET with the natural wet look is one of my favorite styles, but be sure you check the back of the girl’s scalp for the weave. You’d be surprised how many liteskinned ladies are imitation Indians. She told me she had some Sioux in her blood, but she really meant lawsuit. Too bad that I have a thing for the grey-green eye chicks because she was a grimey type broad to steal money out of your wallet when you were asleep. |
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THE SELF-UNEMPLOYED LIL’ UPCHUCK NON-PROFIT CURLY BLONDE DREAD I know that I killed all the above women that had these elements in their hairstyles and the truth is that I’m sure they’re all really nice people once you get to know them. I just had to point out that the greatest thing about Black women has nothing to do with their hair. Their undeniable power comes from that space on their shoulder right where the neck comes in. It’s soft and tender and usually smells like some kind of fruit. As long as a Black woman has a clavicle she doesn’t really need any hair. |