I’m the one who is the low-key Don,
dick stay hard call me Pokemon.
I’m the one they call cutie pie.
I’m the one with the Gucci tie.
I’m the one with the brand new Benz, ‘droopy eye’.
thats the one they said “I knew he’d buy”.
I’m the one who be fly.
I’m the one that hit it from the back, dookie pie.
If you are one of the seven people that read this shit on the regulack (my word bitches!) then you would know that I used this title already. But who would know that only a week later the Wicked Witch of the West would actually buy the farm. C. DELORES TUCKER, one of crap musics’ most outspoken critics has finally kicked the bucket at the age of 78.
Now I realize that I should show more respect and deference to an old Earth, but this lady was a major tool. How do you clump artists like PUBLIC ENEMY and BODY COUNT in the same basket with N.W.A. and TWO LIVE CREW? All she did was further confuse the issue of who’s zooming who and she used the pulpit to bully her way onto Americans tables. Black folks are especially susceptible to any political agent that pimps the church.
I don’t like all crap music myself, but I understand and recognize the responsibility that some artists share for being the griots and educators for the disenfranchised. I myself feel like TUPAC is completely overrated. The only people buying his and 50CENT’s albums are whites from the exurbs. But don’t hate on my X-CLAN or my POOR RIGHTEOUS TEACHERS.
To further annoy me I go to the internets for some stock photo of Mrs.TUCKER and I come up with pictures of her cozying up to Tennessee Rethuglican BILL FRIST. Way back in January they trotted out ANDREW YOUNG and Mrs.TUCKER when they needed some negras to cosign the nomination of CONDOLEEZA RICE to Secretary of State. Right now I am considering renaming my cache of provacative interracial ‘love’ pictures the C. DELORES TUCKER PHOTO MEMORIAL.
Peep the new ROC-A-FELLA jewelry that all the kids will be wearing. I am not talking about the R.O.C. diamond white gold necklace around homegirl’s neck.
I am digging the new R.O.C. platinum teeth straighteners.
ROC-A-FELLA y’all.
If anybody has been reading the internets lately then you know that lady crapper FOXY BROWN is deaf. Not ‘def’ which is a good thing, but deaf. As the Right Reverend Run might say, “not bad meaning bad, but bad meaning good”. Anyhoo…
Some have suggested that FOXY’s brief dementia and her hearing problems are a biological reaction to being forced to listen to her own music for years, but others have attributed this condition to a viral infection that afflicts about 1 in 10,000 people. I guess she really is the ILL nana.
FOXY will be undergoing surgery in an attempt to restore some of her lost hearing. Hopefully she can complete her upcoming album before JAY-Z takes back all her good production beats for his ‘comeback’ album.
You might call this a coincidence but all I know is that her new album was supposed to be titled ‘Broken Silence’ and she is on the ‘Def’ Jam music label.
ROC-A-FELLA y’all.
JUELZ SANTANA thought that if he pulled a KANGAY “George Bush doesn’t care about Black people” WEST he might get some extra units moved on his upcoming album tentatively titled ‘I Roll CAM’RONs Weed’.
JUELZ was asked to comment on Barbara Bush’s remarks made during her visit to the Houston SuperDome. Let’s rewind… “What I’m hearing, which is sort of scary, is they all want to stay in Texas. Everybody is so overwhelmed by the hospitality and so many of the people in the arena here, you know, were underprivileged anyway, so this, this is working very well for them…” Mrs.Bush’s comments were definitely sideways, but JUELZ said “That sounds like something a stupid bitch would say to me. That’s all I got to say.” JUELZ also admitted that he didn’t know who Barbara Bush was but he thought that she was related to the ‘other Bush’.
JUELZ SANTANA was asked to provide commentary on things that were closer to his wheelhouse of information. VOLETTA WALLACE, the mother of Notorious B.I.G., said in her memoir that, “I believe that Sean (“The Diddy” Combs) loved my son after he was dead. I used to tell Christopher all the time not to trust Sean.” JUELZ response to that was “She said that she told him that? I mean seriously, that’s too personal for me? You understand? That’s too deep for me. I swear to God I got goosebumps on my arms! I swear to God that you just said some crazy shit like that to me. Like, I’m not even lying to you. For real. I can’t even answer that one either. That shit is too crazy. Goosebumps came to me when you said that B. Goosebumps.”
I hope that JUELZ gets over his goosebumps in time to do some real promotion for his new album. JAY-Z decided to keep JUELZ as part of the Def Jam roster instead of casting him away with CAM’RON and JIM JONES. The T.I.’s that run DefJam don’t want any more weak selling YOUNG GUNNER – MEMPHIS BLEEK – JOE BUDDEN types on staff.