Archive for March, 2006

Hip Bone Connected to the Thigh Bone…

Sunday, March 26th, 2006

operation

How in the world are stolen human remains distributed across the nation and only four people get pinched for this?!? Are there no longer any quality and assurance departments in these hospitals? When I go the supermarket and I don’t care for the way a piece of meat looks I don’t purchase it. That is why I don’t fuck with FreshDirect. I want to be able to eyeball my shit before I bring it home. Fuck that. I don’t want to find out a week later that the Mexican butcher was having a bad job day so he seasoned all the ground chuck with a little e-coli. But I digress…

So these dudes sold possibly tens of thousands of stolen body parts. Where the fuck do you get stolen bodies from anyway? And who knows what to do with a stolen corpse. My first and last idea would be to have sex with the body, especially if she was hot, but I wouldn’t know the first thing about removing organs or tissue. These dudes were good enough to have 8,000 samples already used in transplants. WTF?!? I am telling you that some of these hospitals had to know that shit was off the back of the truck. You know how these facilities are desperate to cut costs. When that kidney came through with the VIN number scatched off niggas knew that shit was fugazi.

My point is that this case involves a whole lot more motherfuckers than just the people that they have paraded in front of the cameras.

Don’t sleep readership. Soylent Green IS people.

PAM ANDERSEN = FAG HAG

Sunday, March 26th, 2006

pam & gay j1

It was one thing for PAM ANDERSEN to hang out with KANGAY, but to be holding hands with GAY J she has officially confirmed her status as the Hollyhood fag hag.

pam & gay j2

pam & gay j3

R.I.P. McNASTY

Sunday, March 26th, 2006

mcnasty

Before I get all sick over the Big East representing so thorough in this years NCAA tournament I thought I should give some love to my brother that brought his brand of Brooklyn excitement to the hardwood. CONRAD McRAE was nicknamed McNASTY for the ferocious zeal that he played the game with. His specialties were thunderous slam dunks and emphatic shot rejections.

CONRAD was a athletic and energetic player, but at 6ft. 9in. he was undersized to play the center position in the big leagues despite finishing Syracuse with a stellar career. CONRAD took his game overseas and found tremendous success playing in the Italian and Turkish leagues. The following press blurb was taken from the Ankara Daily News…

Con man “A hat-trick of basketball stories for you today, the first one we would prefer not to have to write. Forward Conrad McRae has died of a heart attack while in training with the Denver Nuggets. McRae was well known to Turkish basketball lovers from spells with Fenerbahce and Efes Pilsen. In his Fener days, he made himself one of the most popular players in the Turkish League, not only because of his fluent points scoring but because of his flamboyant style and crowd-pleasing antics. With Efes he was less successful. Some of the magic seemed to have gone and it was apparent he was never going to be the team player then- coach Aydin Ors wanted. The club released McRae before he had completed a single season. Nevertheless the fans will remember with affection the sight of him soaring in like a giant eagle for one of the slam dunks he and they so loved.”

That’s just how I remember ol’ boy too.

R.I.P. McNASTY

mcnasty

STROKER & HOOP: I Barely Knew Ye

Saturday, March 25th, 2006

strokerandhoop

My homie ANDREW told me that the humps at Adult Swim have cancelled my favorite television show, ‘STROKER & HOOP’. The show was running directly after the ‘BOONDOCKS’ on Sunday nights.

STROKER & HOOP‘ was a terrific spoof of all the detective buddy films that have graced the big and small screens. The scripting was raunchy and yet strangely cerebral. ‘S & H’ and the show ‘SQUIDBILLIES’ were the perfect chasers for the runaway train that the ‘BOONDOCKS’ has become. It’s no wonder that I was a big fan of this show because the directors were pulled from the Saturday Night Live ‘T.V. Funhouse’ sketches.

doug

T.V. Funhouse‘ may have been the most irreverant show that has ever been broadcast on television. Its cast featured a dog that liked to eat his own poop, a neurotic rooster and a massively hung turtle (no brokeback). The show was just straight bananas and if you still enjoy the mary jane then I suggest you NetFlix the ‘TV FUNHOUSE’ DVD for a fun Saturday night.

And if you want to give me something for Christmas that you can be sure I will like you can start with the ‘STROKER & HOOP’ DVD.

ST. PATRICK’s DAY RECAP

Saturday, March 25th, 2006

saint p dunks

White folks weren’t the only people losing their minds last weekend…

fools