Archive for March, 2006

The PRINCE and the PEANUTHEAD (ReMix)

Tuesday, March 21st, 2006

peanuts

It’s now official that the JIGGAMAN and NASFERATU have combined forces. This is surely an attempt to somehow capitalize on the G-UNOT bandwagon that is picking up steam. At JAY-Z’s ‘I Declare War’ concert the climax(no homo) was when NAS was introduced on stage. The show had a few other pleasant surprises and the usual suspects showed up as well. The following info is from the fags at the Village Voice…

Jay-Z didn’t dis anyone tonight, not 50 Cent or Cam’ron or Game. I feel a little ridiculous saying this after all the time I’ve spent publically wondering who Jay’s target would be, and Jay’s big surprise, Nas, wasn’t a surprise, at least not if you’ve been obsessively combing the internet dorking out over clues the way I have. But please believe me when I say that I am not the slightest bit disappointed; no one I heard leaving the Continental Airlines Arena was either. Even if you thought you knew it was coming, it was still a dumb-out moment: Jay stopping “Where I’m From” at the “Biggie, Jay-Z or Nas” part, falling silent for a minute, telling the crowd that the concert was called “I Declare War” but decided that it was bigger than that. And then: “You know what I did for y’all? You know what I did for hip-hop? I said fuck that shit! Let’s go, Esco!” Nas rising behind Jay on an elevator at the top of a staircase, doing the hook on “Dead Presidents.” And then the two of them standing side by side at the center of the stage, arms behind them, Nas wearing army greens and Tims, hat off to the side of his head, Jay wearing expensive-looking sunglasses and a black tracksuit, soaking in the atmosphere. There was a great moment near the end when Nas stood side by side with Jay, Kanye, and Diddy, like it was rap’s Mount Rushmore or some shit.

BEANIE SIEGEL also signed with the R.O.C. pushing aside all that G-UNIT talk and the LOX performed with DIDDY as well. So there you have it, a new era in mainstream commercial crap music has everyone becoming friends again. I don’t mind it at all, but is this what the kids in the exurbs want to purchase? Do they want to see crappers being friends or do they want to see the ‘urban safari’ that they imagine these crappers live in?

The good news for all the well-heeled suburban crap music fans is that the DefJam armistice will prah’lee go against the G-UNIT juggernaut in the next few weeks. You just know the T.I.’s aren’t gonna stop this black-on-black violence money machine now especially with the rate of prison inmates soaring. Free labor = more money, more money, more money.

ROC-A-FELLA y’all.

R.I.P. UNICRON (ReMix)

Monday, March 20th, 2006

rip unicron

When I think of all the brothers that I owe some measure of my breath to, I can never forget my brother UNICRON. There is no question in my mind that I am here today because of his street savvy and his courage.

The truth is that I was just a kid from Queens who got a chance to play street thug as if it were some amusement park ride and when I returned to the tree-lined streets of my neighborhood, the adventure and the drama ended. That wasn’t the case for my brothers that lived in the war zones. Their lives were caught up in a delicate and tenuous web in which a trip to the corner bodega for a carton of milk could be a final destination. There was no area in New York City for which this was more accurate than Ocean Hill – Brownsville. More specifically, the Brevoort housing complex. This is where UNICRON lived and where I almost met a fateful demise.

In the winter of 1988 I was no longer in high school and I wasn’t doing anything that my parents would consider productive or valuable. I spent my days traveling into Brooklyn or the city to meet up with my brothers. From there we would plot our day around what was usually a spontaneous and unpredictable chord. This is how so many of our days would begin, with a group meeting at ‘Sign of the Times’ park in Hell’s Kitchen, and then an afternoon of hell on Earth. Or something certainly akin to one of the rings in Dante’s Inferno. The promise of adventure, rewards, notoriety were all used as bait to induce as many brothers as possible to come along for the ride. I had spent so many days running missions with my brothers that I had begun to develop my own small satellite band of brothers that would accompany me anywhere with the utmost loyalty and zeal.

On a cool January afternoon the youth collective that I was a part of decided to visit a high school in midtown Manhattan. The potential for meeting some pretty young women and ‘finding’ some expensive jewelry were the temptations used to recruit members for the mission. The ulterior reason for this visit was to exact revenge upon some young men that had disrespected one of the senior members of the collective.

A connection that the collective had inside of the school located the boys who were guilty of the transgression and provided access into the school so that we could meet these youths inside of their classroom. As soon as the bell to switch classes was sounded, the signal was given to demand retribution. In the congested hallways mayhem ensued as young people roared and screamed and transferred their energy that was raw and unbridled. The fighting that ensued wasn’t as fierce as it was brutal. The sheer overwhelming numbers that my brothers contained made them look like a tsunami washing through the corridors. The destruction that was left in their wake was total and indiscriminate.

As my brothers exited the school they disappeared and blended into the multitudes of other teenagers that were shocked and awed out from their classes that afternoon. That transformation was imperative to the success of the mission. Otherwise, as a group of young Black teenagers near the school after the attack would become a target for the hundreds of police officers from the several local precincts surrounding the school. In these situations the collective relied upon the earlier briefings that established assigned rendezvous points throughout the subway stations along the 8th Avenue line. The key was to get to these points individually because any group of young Black teenagers near the mission area would become a target and therefore compromise the missions’ ultimate goal – a safe return home. This goal was something that I had always taken for granted, until this day.

uni

After we had all gathered at the meta-rendezvous area we decided to return to Brooklyn. Several members were confirmed as apprehended by the authorities. All others were present and accounted for especially my brothers from my Queens neighborhood. I took extra special care to insure that they would be part of an experienced recon team as opposed to part of one of the more robust and raucous scout teams. If these boys didn’t come home I would have to deal with two sets of angry parents.

As the 8th Avenue local marched through Brooklyn members would depart from the train at their respective stations. The brothers that lived in Red Hook, Walt Whitman and Farragut Houses would all exit at Jay Street. The collective members from Flatbush and Crown Heights would split from the core at Franklin Avenue to transfer for the shuttle train. The remainder would exit at Utica and then finally Ralph Avenue. Cybertron was located on the ‘Hill’ on Ralph Avenue. Cybertron was the home base for the collective’s leader, MEGATRON. My brothers RUMBLE, CYCLONUS and HEADSTRONG also lived there. On this cold wintry night, for whatever the reason, I decided to journey to Cybertron with some of my Queens brothers. I should have been satisfied with the afternoon’s mission and returned to Queens for the warmth and comfort of my parents’ home. This was a decision that I am truly lucky that I have lived to regret.

When we exited the subway station we were quickly summoned to attention. Along Fulton Street an anxious crowd was gathering. As we approached the crowd we could see that our brother RANSACK was in the center of this brewing storm. We sprung into action and began to extricate our brother in the only way that we knew how. Even though we were in the dead of winter our energy was so potent you could have told me that was July outdoors. As we chased the rival group into the lobby of Brevoort Houses we felt the rush of invincibility that comes from asserting your will on any mortal foolish enough to cross your path. This feeling was short lived. In a moment the temperature outside would feel as hot as Africa in the month of August.

From out of the doorway of the housing development came a young man who pulled a gun from inside his jacket lining. This wasn’t any gun I had ever seen before in real life. It wasn’t like the .22 caliber pistol that I had held before. It wasn’t at all like the chunky .38 caliber that was standard issue for NYC policeman in the days before the Glock semiauto. The only thing that I can relate this firearm to was the long barrel magnum used by Clint Eastwood in the ‘Dirty Harry’ film. The gun was a polished chrome that reflected the light on this cold, crisp night as if it were the sun itself. At that moment everyone that was advancing became frozen in their footsteps. The young man yelled something that I can not remember and then he pointed his gun at all of us that were standing in the courtyard of Brevoort Houses. As he began to pull the trigger everyone started running in every which direction, hopping over the wooden benches and hurdling the waist high cast-iron gates of the housing development. Everyone, that is, except for me.

I was hypnotized by the gun in a surreal sense. It was nothing like any picture show or television program that I had seen. The gun made a thunderous boom whose sound echoed several times off the housing project facades. I could actually hear the bullets. They were invisibly cutting through the winter night, leaving only the sound and effect of displaced air. I was transfixed. The shells passed by my ears or skitched along the concrete in the courtyard ricocheting off dumpsters and other miscellaneous metal. One of those bullets may have eventually come to a halt inside of my body had I not been tackled by UNICRON.

uni

He woke me up from my trance and then shielded me while the gunman continued to expend the shots loaded in the gun’s barrel. After a moment the shooting stopped and then UNI helped me up to my feet. My legs initially were unable to move and I looked around to see if THUNDERCRACKER, was alright. I scanned the crowd and found him crouched behind the concrete support of a park bench. He was untouched by a bullet, but we were both touched by the experience. We dashed for the subway at a speed that would have put CARL LEWIS to shame. On the ride back home THUNDERCRACKER, SOUNDWAVE, DUE and I did not say one word to each other. It was probably two days after that my heartbeat finally returned to a normal rate.

What was painfully honest to admit was that we had been acting out a fantasy as outlaw youth. When our collective was initially formed it was to repel the knuckleheads that would come up to our high school to terrorize us. But as the stakes got higher and higher so did the methods for fighting. There were no more ‘fair ones’ between the youth. Brass knuckles gave way to knives; switchblades were replaced with Smif-n-Wessuns; and our collective had transformed from defenders into the very oppressors that we had vowed to combat

I am eternally grateful for my brother UNICRON for saving me on that evening. Unfortunately, he would eventually meet with a fate like so many other young men that are unwittingly trapped in the downward spiral of violence. UNICRON had a sense of courage and compassion that so many other young men possess, but was without the direction and the proper tools to construct a sustainable sufficient way of life. And now he is lost to us forever.

uni

UNICRON’s sacrifice on this night transformed me. Unfortunately, it wasn’t the last time that I would need to learn a life lesson, but that my friends is another story…

TOOKIE WILLIAMS IS NOT MALCOLM X! (ReMix)

Monday, March 20th, 2006

tookie < big red

The internets are driving me bananas with all this talk about Crips founder, STANLEY ‘TOOKIE’ WILLIAMS. The eulogies are flying around as if we had lost one of the greatest humanitarian statesmen since PAUL ROBESON.

I don’t doubt the transformation that TOOKIE made during his incarceration and I don’t think that the state of California or Texas for that matter have ever had an equitable or justifiable record of prosecuting people of color and poor people. What has been lost in all of the hoopla of the protests by celebrity gangbangers like SNOOP DOGG has been TOOKIE’s adherence to the ‘G’ code.

With the small window of time that he remained on the planet he tried to leave a legacy that would outshine his darkest moments. I have to respect that gangsta. But by trying to compare his state-sponsored execution to that of MALCOLM or MARTIN you are missing the true essence of a leader. MALCOLM’s challenge to the status-quo mentality made him an enemy of Corporate America. There is nobody in the world badder than C.A. They are so gangsta that they can drop a bomb on you while you sit on the toilet. And in the morning papers it will read that there was a gas leak in your building.

I’m just saying that maybe if TOOKIE lived another fifty years he might get to the level of a MALCOLM or MARTIN, but as it stands he doesn’t even eclipse MUMIA.

Editor’s note: Further signs of the apocalypse… TOOKIE WILLIAMS tee shirts on eBAY listed as TOOKIE WILLIAMS ORIGINAL GANGSTER THUG PIMP. oy!

Hip-Hop is NOT Culture (ReMix)

Monday, March 20th, 2006

shouts to BC dot C

I have been trying to wrap my head around this topic for several weeks now. Ever since I saw a subway advertisement for the VH-1 produced show ‘Hip-Hop Honors,’ I have been in a lousy mood. When I think about the history of VH-1 and MTV in relation to Hip-Hop, I get pissed the fuck off. I am old enough to remember the time when these cultural hustlers would not recognize Hip-Hop because the T.I.’s didn’t believe they could make money from it. They thought that because this art was originally produced and created by disenfranchised people, it would not translate to the suburbs and the exurbs of America.

Give RUSSELL SIMMONS and RICK RUBIN hell’a credit too. When the T.I.’s saw how many white were coming to see acts like KURTIS BLOW, T-LA ROCK, RUN-DMC and of course, the BEASTIE BOYS, they realized there was money to be made. Keep in mind that Hip-Hop’s prime demographic group is white males between the ages of 14 yrs old and 28yrs old (a/k/a the new teenage years).

I went to see 50CENT at the 70,000 seat Ford Field in Detroit and the only black folks that I saw were the ones tap-dancing on stage and the fools selling bootleg tee shirts outside the arena. Hip-Hop music is how white in America gets a chance to go on an ‘urban safari’. From the veritable safety of their iPOD.

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE stop calling Hip-Hop a culture. This demeans the achievements of actual cultures that have shaped everything from language to economics to politics. Hip-Hop has not transformed any of the aforementioned standards. Hip-Hop in America is marketed as an alternative to securing an education, so much so that the word ‘bling’ now appears in the Merriam-Webster dictionary. Hip-Hop in America is marketed to promote consumerism without regard for fiscal austerity, so much so that people without a pot to piss in have a bottle of champagne in their refrigerator. Hip-Hop in America is marketed as an over-sized white tee shirt instead of the realization of socio-political responsibility, so much so that ‘VOTE or DIE!’ rolls off of my lips as easy as ‘JUST SAY NO!’

The actual culture is called capitalism. Hip-Hop is an artistic movement that is an outgrowth of the culture of capitalism, much the same way that 5000 years ago North African culture produced the pyramids. Though to tell you the truth, Hip-Hop isn’t nearly as great or everlasting as the pyramids of Giza. I don’t think any beings will look at the ‘Black’ album 1000 years from now and think that they missed some kind of cultural zenith.

I am not telling you not to enjoy watching a program that features performances from some of the artists that have crafted the soundtrack to our lives, just don’t get all longwinded and quasi-intellectual. No one will care what you have to say anyway.

All Day I Dream About Sneakers… (ReMix)

Sunday, March 19th, 2006

notre dame

One of the main reasons that C.S. and I traveled to Paris was to see if I could track down some rare and hard to find sneakers. There is a neighborhood in a Parisian suburb called Cligancourt that my friends tell me resembles the old Delancey-Orchard Street strip from the late 1980’s.

Sure enough, there were leather jacket dealers and sneaker traders everywhere. With no prices marked on the shoes it meant that you could ‘jew’ the dealer down to the price that you both agreed upon. Since I am a Black Hebrew, I have no problem jewing anyone.

There were all kinds of NIKE dunks and Air Max models to choose from, but this trip wasn’t about securing any more NIKE shoes since the swoosh brand and I were looking at being separated (and possibly divorced?). I was on the hunt for a pair of ultra rare ADIDAS. Paris is known to be a hotbed for the German shoe manufacturers products and up to this point I had seen some interesting pieces not yet available in the States. The shoes I wanted though were more than just a pair of collectible sneakers; they contained an incredible history that not too many people know about.

These were shoes worn by the Jamaican bobsled team during the 1976 Summer Games in Montreal.

monty '76

First off I know what you’re thinking… Jamaican bobsled team at the 1976 summer Olympic games?!?!? And normally I would agree with you but that is how sick this story is. Because the games were being played in Canada, the Jamaican boblsed team assumed that there would be snow and therefore it would be their first chance to compete in the games. Can you imagine for just one second how difficult it must have been to practice bobsledding in the sand?

ganja sled

I guess the team had been smoking some of that good sticky icky for them to think there would be snow on the ground in July, even up in Canada, but nonetheless they packed their bags and their sled and headed to Montreal. As word spread on the tiny island that the bobsled team would be competing in the Olympics, several other Jamaican winter athletes were inspired to make the trek as well, in the hopes that they too might secure the ‘big gold coin mon’. How many of you know the story of WINSTON LIVINGSTON, the great steel pan drummer and professional speed skater from Jamaica? He would have shattered all the established records in the Sapporo Japan Games in 1972 if he hadn’t been disqualified for going around the track in the opposite direction.

winston livingston

The real hero, or should I say heroine of the 1976 Olympic Games, was MAVIS BAILEY. She was from a poor little town in the Parish of Saint Andrew called Cockburn. The seaside town was so poor that all of its residents had to share one single pair of shoes. Even though MAVIS was scheduled to compete, the week the games were scheduled wasn’t her week to wear the town shoes, so she had to go to Montreal barefoot.

little mavis

This is where the bobsled team stepped in (pun absolutely intended). MAVIS was favored to win the women’s 200m race and she was perfectly fine running barefoot , but the I.O.C. (the T.I.’s that run that Olympic shit) had mandated that all competitors must wear track shoes. VERNON HERDSMEN, the Jamaican bobsled team’s driver and the only member of the team that wasn’t detained by Canadian customs officials for narcotics possession, was able to lend MAVIS his sneakers so that she could run her race. MAVIS nearly won the gold medal too, but she unfortunately stumbled and fell when the laces from VERNON’s sneakers became untied. Sadly, she ended up finishing in last place.

poor mavis

Even though MAVIS BAILEY returned to Jamaica medaless and shoeless, it is her perserverance that I honor and respect. I found VERNON HERDSMEN’s her ADIDAS shoe at this tiny little sneaker stand run by an angry Arab (yeah, I know, show you a happy one).

MAVIS SL 76

The second best part of the trip was that C.S. and I were back home before they set that sneaker store on fire.