Archive for May, 2006

GET OFF ME BALL!

Monday, May 29th, 2006

barry bonds

For one day in your life…

Don’t hate. Celebrate. Bitches.

X-MEN 3: The Review…

Monday, May 29th, 2006

dark phoenix saga

I wanted to let CLETUS the fetus do a review of this film, but after he submitted his paperwork on ‘The Inside Man’ and the utter abortion that was ‘Killa Season’ I thought better than having some Christian conservatives target this site. Not that we’re scared of them, but I just spent the whole weekend working out spam issues and we don’t need to have a group of people with nothing but time on their hands on our azzes (nullus).

cletus

Just as an aside, movie blockbuster wise, did you know that TOM CRUISE ate the placenta from his wife’s uterus!?!? How is this guy not in jail yet?

X-MEN 3 was everything that I hoped it would be. It was thrilling and suspenseful. The action scenes were on an adult level, yet still acceptable for younger viewers(not kids under twelve, but who other than jigs brings a 6yr old to an ‘R’ rated movie?). Because this is Hollywood I understand that it isn’t possible for them to maintain 100% fidelity to the comic series and they haven’t done too bad a job. I have complained about casting for some of the characters but that has been my biggest sticking point. The fact that the original five X-Men don’t appear in the cinema series until this episode hasn’t bothered me either. The X-Men franchise has a wealth of characters with interwoven storylines that it makes for an excellent film whenever the writing team is on point.

The team that Marvel conscripted to deliver this film was good. They weren’t great, like the Spider-Man team was, but they weren’t as flat as the Hulk or Daredevil team. And the Daredevil team had arguably the best storyline to work with when you consider the emotion contained in the ELEKTRA saga. With all that said they did an admirable job in keeping the franchise alive for additional sequels without leaving you hanging too badly in this one. New heroes make their appearances as do new villains. You can best believe that I shouted out in the theatre the line, “I’m the Juggernaut, biiiitch!” at the appropriate time. I still can’t believe that the writers had worked that line in for the character. The power of the internets is a beautiful thing.

The few issues I had with the film won’t give away any spoilers for those of you that haven’t seen the flick yet. No Cyclops and no Nightcrawler?!? WTF? The Beast made up for the fuzzy blue mutant contingent, but there was no inference of his backstory with the X-Men. The costumes were still boring as all hell with our merry mutants still clad in black leather like a motorcycle gang. Queer crappers SHAM’ROCK and KANGAY have made pink and pastel yellow acceptable for mainstream consumers. I think our superheroes should be reflective of society’s changing morays.

The theatre ran a preview of the new ‘Superman’ film and guess who is as teh ghey as ever? He even still has that faggoty spit curl.

SECRET LIVES of GHETTO CELEBS

Monday, May 29th, 2006

fugmochris

A quick question…

Does anyone remember when CHRIS ROCK officially went from being an ugly man to an ugly old man?

KUFI SLAP SUNDAYS

Sunday, May 28th, 2006

sunni slap

This is just a little reminder to all of those Shia insurgents that are still stuck on stupid.

Sunni forces are running this Iraq shit!

N’Awlins Jig Mayor Gets A Do-Over

Saturday, May 27th, 2006

shawrly

The chances of us seeing images like this one are slim now that N’Awlins has created an evacuation plan for this summers’ hurricane season.

One of the problems last year with the overcrowding was due to the police NOT shooting enough people in the back. The N.O. Sheriff’s Department has their marching orders now so if you negroes don’t have on your Air Max when the storm hits this year you might as well put some lipstick on your hand and smack yourself in the butt. In other words, kiss your azz goodbye.

I admit that I was surprised that RAY NAGIN found himself still in office after the city’s mayoral election. That other dude that was opposing him had a few powerful southern buzzwords in his corner. Words like ‘tradition’ and ‘heritage’ carry a lot of weight in Louisiana. Don’t get it twisted by thinking that Mississippi is the only place that the rebel flag gets cheers. There is still a popular fashion accessory called the ‘New Orleans Necktie’.

l1

Most Bayou folks are a forgiving, laid back sort and I guess they figured that RAY NAGIN didn’t completely fuck up as mayor. Well, at least he cursed out the President and the Governor.