Archive for May, 2006

The MATRIX vs. The DAVINCI CODE

Thursday, May 18th, 2006

miller ronin

Just as an aside, if you feel like enjoying some meta-retro-futuristic FRANK MILLER work pick up a copy of the graphic novel RONIN. Good times.

The Association has listened to you NBA 2K6 stans and will move to re-format the playoff games. The preliminary proposal doesn’t make the game as fun as the DP dot Com bracket, but we can always pray. Here is a second round matchup that we could have seen…

Phoenix Suns vs. Clevland Cavaliers
The league MVP against the clear MVP in the East, LeBRON JAMES. Actually the focus of the series will be SHAWN ‘The Matrix’ MARION and LeBRON ‘Young DaVinci Code’ JAMES. RAJA BELL and LARRY HUGHES are the co-stars.

matrix over mash

The Matrix was always an exciting player and with the addition of AMARE STOUDEMIRE and STEVE NASH to the Phoenix mix you thought there might be a new sheriff in the West. When the Suns are on full blast you had better wear your track shoes to the gym. The biggest problem for the Suns is that their high-octane offense is complimented by a low horsepower defense. The Suns give up a lot of shots and size to most teams in the league. They can get outrebounded, but they can’t be outrun.

Let’s take a look at the NIKE SHOX MTX worn by SHAWN ‘The Matrix’ MARION.

SHOX MTX

The Cleveland Cavaliers are a resourceful scrappy team. Not too many names that you would recognize on the back of a jersey, even though they have their own ‘Snow Man‘. It has been LeBRON JAMES mostly. His sneaker is called the NIKE AIR ZOOM LeBRON 3. He is one of the league’s bright stars and every year his game and countenance improves. The DaVinci Code refers to people that are direct descendant’s of histories most controversial jew (no, not LENNY BRUCE). LeBRON’s got the look of someone that could be from that Ethiopian/Eritrean region.

lebreeze

This is a fun series because the Cleveland team surprisingly likes to run the floor. LeBRON and LARRY HUGHES fill the wings up with their slashing and spot up shooting. When LARRY has to take a break from the team for his brother’s funeral Phoenix takes the advantage. When he returns to the team the tables are evened.

I like Phoenix in 7 games for this series and the deciding factor was the NIKE SHOX MTX. I pick their design over that of the NIKE ZOOM LeBRON III.

ZOOM LEBRON 3

Good Food On A Friday Night

Thursday, May 18th, 2006

moose

O.K. Let’s keep it real. All of y’all mother’effers don’t have tickets to the ROOTS Crew show this Friday. That doesn’t mean that you can’t have a fun in a positive progressive vibe. This Friday, MALCOLM X Day, my brother in the struggle , KAHLIL ALMUSTAFA will be hosting his album release party. There is NO cover charge and GAME Rebellion will perform as well.

The album project is called ‘CounterIntelligence’ and it promises to change the genre of spoken word. Suspend your notion of what poetry is and free your mind.

Malcolm X Day
Friday, May 19th, 2006
@ Speak
28 East 23rd St.
b/w Madison & Park Ave.
New York, NY
Doors open at 5pm

Click the link to KAHLIL’s MySpace page to hear excerpts of his album ‘CounterIntelligence’.

BILLY SUNDAY’s Guide To Picking Up Summertime Poon

Wednesday, May 17th, 2006

jessica simpson

I used to be able to bag up shorties with my eyebrow compliments. Chicks eat that shit up like corned beef hash. I would give them kudos if I thought that they had threaded as opposed to waxing. I just loved to watch them blush and get shy. Girls like it when you pay attention to the details, because they spend a grip on the detailing. Too bad too many lame niggas peeped my game. Now all kinds of bum azz niggas is giving ladies compliments on their eyebrow game.

That is why I am BILLY SUNDAY and they aren’t. I stay way ahead of these lame azz fools with my pickup lines. The new shit I am on this summer is accessories, particularly earrings. I like those drop jawnts all the little eclectic poonahnee is wearing. They look middle eastern influenced on some arabic shit.

It had been a trend the last few years for white girls to be stompin’ through with the fat booties, but that novelty wore off. Once we all found out it was because of the cut of those Seven for Mankind jeans the cache of having a piece of white tail with a bubble was burst. The hot little mamas to bag up this summer will be either from Kenya or a mulatto chick with a Jew mom. You score either of these you have hit the Summer ’06 poon jackpot.

Kenyan broads have that exotic Africa thing going for them without the HIV or the missing hands due to civil war. Mulatto chicks with a Jew mom are simply the gold standard by which I judge all my summertime jumpoffs by. The mom is never going to let you marry the girl, but hey, you didn’t want to anyhoo.

X-MEN 3 Is the Best Movie in 2006

Wednesday, May 17th, 2006

old uni x-men

When you factor in box office receipts and add to that the fact that this movie has an actual story you should recognize that this is no stretch of my imagination.

I am just sad that Marvel is considering ending the ‘X-Men’ movie series. Even blockbuster movies ain’t making the scrilla they used to since the internets came on the scene, but I would still rather see ‘X-Men 3’ or ‘Revenge of the Sith’ on a big screen than sitting here on my Herman Miller aeron chair.

HOE SIT DOWN!

Wednesday, May 17th, 2006

magix

The thing I hate the most about the NBA Playoffs is when I have to listen to the post-game analysis from EARVIN JOHNSON. It’s like hearing Uncle Remus on prime time television. It wouldn’t upset me so much if EARVIN came into the studio dressed in cut up overalls and a straw hat.

JOHNSON is one of America’s wealthiest Black men yet with all of his money he refuses to hire a speech therapist. For crying out loud, EARVIN gives people lectures on managing their money. I wonder if he’s accompanied by a banjo player?

magix

There’s no banjo or washboard inside the Turner network studios. Instead we have to watch EARVIN butcher the English language when he stammers and stutters through polysyllabic words. I like MAGIC (nullus) and he was certainly one of the greatest players in the history of the Association, but there are tons of players that were capable on the court and can give a listenable, cogent breakdown of what is happening on the basketball court. When I have to listen to MAGIC and BARKLEY on the same telecast I lose my fucking mind.