A little numerology for all of you non-believers and music fans. Middle-east mixtape maven ABU AL-ZARQAWI is killed 60 years after FREDDIE MERCURY, an arab entertainer, was born. FREDDIE MERCURY was a flaming fruitcake who was married to another man. GEORGE BUSH Jr. doesn’t care about men who want to marry other men. GEORGE BUSH Jr. was born 60 years ago. What does this all mean? Nothing or everything.
A friend of mine, H.R., pointed out that the framed portrait of the dead AL-ZARQAWI was eerily similiar to the screen capture shot of one of the captors holding aloft the freshly beheaded NICK BERG. I remember seeing a website that dubbed ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ on top of the realtime audio. It seems that with the proper funding the terrorists could be much more stylized in their media manipulation than we are. They can pretty much produce and release mixtapes at a rate that makes me wish that REDMAN or DE LA SOUL were signed to their labels. In the least we would finally get to hear some new Funk Doc music. At some point you are going to have to admit that people that live in caves shouldn’t even be this media savvy.
Now don’t get me wrong, I am happy that AL-ZARQAWI is dead especially if it lowers my gas prices and brings the American troops home sooner. Neither seem likely. So why should I feel good about our progress in Iraq? Before we committed trillions of dollars and countless lives to the eternal sands of Iraq there was a dictator there who made the Al-Qaeda presence null and void. If you wanted to talk that Al-Qaeda shiite you would have to go into the caves of Afghanistan. That shiite was not popping off in Iraq even after SADDAM had been militarily weakened by Darth Sidious BUSH I.
The U.S. invasion into Iraq was done after the attacks in Afghanistan which caused all kinds of mass evacuations from that region. The middle east is now a clusterfuck of religions and ethnicities that have historically never liked each other and categorically don’t like Americans. If you wanted to create a war that could last like forever then this would be the place to start it. If you use a boulder for a chaise lounge you are going to be a little more gangsta than the average. Is it any wonder that after two 500lb. smart bombs blew up this dudes shanty burning everyone else to cinders he still tried to get away. And he had NO legs left on his body!
So I guess it’s time to dust off the old flight suit and do another aircraft carrier landing. I can imagine that they will pump a little bit of Queen’s ‘We Are The Champions’ over the P.A. system. These are heady times now that the dragon has been slain and I suppose that a little celebration is in order. Maybe we can release a little mixtape of own. Just leave off any songs by the Dixie Chicks.
