Archive for July, 2006

Cash Rules Everything Around Me

Thursday, July 6th, 2006

Well boys and girls, I hope that the hangover fom Tuesday has finally worn off because if it hasn’t I am going to give you some sobering news.

Our economy is fucked the fuck up. President BUSH gambled on this Iraqi war for several reasons. One of them was to uplift the U.S. economy through the revitalization of the military industrial complex. It has worked to a small degree, but that has been offset by the large debt that the country and individuals have amassed during the same period. We are facing a massive downturn in our economy and this may mean more unemployment and inflation for some of us.

WILLIAM H. SUNDAY wasn’t always homeless. There was a time when he was a promising young bond tradesman for Oppenheimer. Alright, he never actually traded bonds, he worked in the mailroom, but he dreamed of trading one day. BILLY gave me some advice as to how I might be able to structure myself in order to ride out this oncoming fiscal bear economy.

INVEST IN PRECIOUS METALS
Not the bullshiite that Jacob the Jeweler sells but mutual funds that are weighted heavy with gold, silver, copper and other metals. Their values are not attached to any central bank therefore they have the least liability.

INVEST IN FOREIGN CURRENCIES
Even while we shove our rifles up the azzes of insurgents, our dollar is taking a global beatdown. Now is the time to invest in foreign currencies like the Euro and the Yen. African countries and South America have the most potential for growth also.

THE HOUSING BUBBLE POPS
I am not telling you not to buy a house if it will be for you to live in, but certainly don’t buy any property if you are looking to speculate. This is where many of us have assumed debt that will not be turned around as quickly. The rate at which real estate was appreciating was unchecked by the feds and now we have too many properties that were over-appraised.

WHEN ALL ELSE FAILS – FILE FOR BANKRUPTCY
It’s the American thing to do

We now return you to your regular programming…

THE MAN IN THE DAILY MIRROR

Thursday, July 6th, 2006

jacko

When was the last time that you tuned into CRUNK and Disorderly?

Be sure to hop through CONCRETE LOOP today too.

Guess who’s on the move again? Your bizzle, eM JIZZLE, was like ‘eff’ this arab shizzle in Bahrizzle, especially after DALLAS AUSTIN was cast in the real life AKON ‘Locked Up’ video. The King of Pop is going to buy a castle in Scotland to keep all of his young lovers children.

I say knock yourself out. The Europeans like his weirdo antics anyhoo. You can’t dangle no baby out a window in the States. The Admin for Child Services will be up in your shit like a tapeworm. MIKE already look like a tapeworm got into him too, wearing pajamas and house shoes everywhere.

SEPARATED AT BIRTH: SUPERMAN & SKEE BALL

Thursday, July 6th, 2006

SUPERWOMAN

See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Say Nothing…

Thursday, July 6th, 2006

gaza boys

Just as Israel is starting to put the hardbody smackdown on the Palestinians some clowns in the E.U. had to get their panties in a bunch. It seems that Switzerland doesn’t think that the Israelis are shooting the fair one.

This is war baby, last one standing gets to be the last one standing and anything less is unacceptable. I don’t know who in their cotton picking mind thought that Israel was going to play with these dudes with kid gloves on. Palestinians are about to become the human dodo birds if they don’t hurry up and drink a tall can of act right. Israel will drop a bomb on the PLO kindergarten school. And it’s nothing.

Incidentally, how do the Swiss get to be neutral all the time?!?

SUPERMAN RETURNS = YES HOMO

Wednesday, July 5th, 2006

superman

Are we all in agreement with this? The latest installment of the DC Comics franchise was regrettably a piece of shiite. I am not going to go into all the reasons why this may have been the worst superhero flick ever, but I will just say that there was way too much wasted talent, money and time on this production. Sadly, I am never getting those two and half hours back.

The story presented in this movie was for a Black superhero, like maybe the Falcon or Black Lightning. I mean, what white gets stronger by being in the sun?!? BRYAN SINGER was director, producer and writer for the movie. He fucked up by thinking that he was really the shit. The story which had potential, was ultimately flat and lacked credibility as a Superman storyline. I am going to list a couple of joints that ruined the film for me. Don’t read this post any further if you are still going to waste your hard earned money on this supertrash.

1) Superman gets his strength from the sun and he never has to break out the SPF-100 even though dude is pasty like a muhh.

2) The characters have been modernized in that Lois Lane is a groupie video ho reporter. Superman banged out Lois Lane and she had a seed, but he doesn’t know it because he skated from Earth for five years (told you that it hould have been a Black man).

3) JAMES MARDSEN has to be BRYAN SINGER’s lover because why else would you jump from the X-Men franchise where your character gets to bang out Jean Grey to a storyline where you have to be the beard to Lois Lane and raise a child that isn’t even yours.

4) KEVIN SPACEY couldn’t save this piece of shit film either with a portrayal of Lex Luthor that lacked malevolence and comedy. It was somewhere in between the two and that’s a shame because KEVIN can bring the heat or the laughs when his writing is sharp.

5) Who the fuck is in the Quality and Assurance Deptartment at the film studio? They made sure that the telephones received the brand placement ‘AVAYA’, but Superman’s cape had no ‘S’ on it?!?

6) The worst action scenes of any superhero movie ever. No azz kicking monsters or thirty-story robots. Just a dude with his underpants on the outside of his pantyhose, unable to tell this groupie slut that he loves her.

7) BRANDON ROUTH = extra BOUTROS BOUTROS BOUTROS GREG LOUGANIS