Archive for July, 2006

GOOD MORNING LEBANON!

Sunday, July 16th, 2006

lebnon

Much respect goes to ROBIN WILLIAMS for what he does for our collective sanity.

It might be hot outside, but trust me, shit is way hotter in Tel Aviv right now. It looks like all the sand nigger that talk that jihad shit is on the rag at the same time. The Palestinians in Gaza are always up to no good, and now the people in Beirut want to get gully?!? Well, there aren’t enough trees in Hebron to make all the caskets that Israel is going to rain down on these fools.

You ain’t really a baller, Hezbollah. You need more people. Sure the global community will reprimand Israel for setting your azzes on fire, meanwhile you just lost half a generation. Killing the menfolk is easy enough, but Israel is like Homie the Clown and they don’t play that shit. Expect to have rows of dead bodies of women and children.

I blame Damascus for all of this current nonsense. They weren’t happy leaving well enough alone so they had to go and give arms to Hezbollah. So don’t be surprised either when Israel steps to Syria. Knowing Israel, and the fact that they are slicker than all the oil in Kuwait, they will creep on BASHAR al-ASSAD and put a fly in his soup. ASSAD better hope that his son isn’t in the building at the time.

I suppose this was inevitable in the long run. The military industrial complex stays on their grizzly building bombs and tanks and planes and whatever. It doesn’t make sense to have all this shit just sit in a factory in Nebraska and dry rot. The good thing about expending all of our reserves of depleted phosphorous and enriched uranium is that in a dozen or so years we can start a non-profit organization that specializes in bringing drinking water to all the radiation poisoned children in Tripoli.

I DID DRINK THE KOOL-AID!

Thursday, July 13th, 2006

kool aid

I admit it. I was one of those cats that drunk the Kool-Aid. Red was my favorite flavor.

So now drinking the Kool-Aid has a different conotation. To me it means whether or not I choose to believe the information that mainstream media tells me is important to believe. I am not sure how I became connected to the Viacom-glomerate that controls popular culture with an iron fist. Entertainment has become news as politics have become entertainment. I hate to think that someone at MTV controls my life so much because they probably got their job on a family plan hookup. These are dangerous and curious times in our nation. We are guided by people that have little respect for knowledge. I suppose we could just keep drinking the Kool-Aid for the comfort that sugar gives our neurological system, or we could pour the Kool-Aid onto the ground and decide that we are ready to take back our minds and our lives.

paulweezle

PAUL WALL drinks the Kool-Aid. VH-1 sent me an e-mail that they are making a documentary about blood diamonds and Hip-Hop’s connection to the civil war in Sierra Leone. The film won’t be aired until early 2007 so I guess that gives me enough time to get my grills out of lay-a-way. Sorry MTVH-1, but you are about 1 day late and 1 millions lives short. I don’t believe you, you need more people. It’s disingenuous and borderline evil to insinuate that the civil war in Sierra Leone was caused by Hip-Hop cultures love for diamonds. The diamond trade didn’t begin with rap music and it will continue long after rap has gone the way of blues and jazz. If you really want to do something for the people you should create a documentary describing how supremacy keeps people in check. Use FLAVOR FLAV as the host of that show.

PAUL WALL and NIKKI ‘HOOPZ’ ALEXANDER are the most requested names for people that google this site. I consider quitting this blog shit everytime I review my stats.

There has been a recent spate of incarcerated felons having their convictions overturned due to the fact that they were innocent. In some cases the prosecutors withheld evidence or used faulty DNA samples or in most cases just locked up a nigger because of the convenience. The return of these people to their families is fucking up the economy. There are already enough young Black males in their teens and twenties that are unemployable. What the fuck are we going to do with a grizzled Black male in his forties or fifties?!? If you have spent more than twenty years in jail for a crime that you didn’t commit you should have to stay there until you die. It’s not the president’s fault that you got locked up and he shouldn’t have to help you and your family put your lives back together.

The President doesn’t lack a credibility problem because he’s rich. If he were a poor man then he would have to be a man of his word, but as a multi-billionaire he doesn’t have to do a damn thing. Tapping people’s phone calls, opening up personal bank records, publicly disclosing confidential information and lying about WMD’s are all good when you have more money than GOD.

JAY-Z and BeYONCE will finally announce their break up with the release of BeYONCE’s second single, ‘Why You Treat Me So Bad’.

Note to self: Cancel vacation plans to Jerusalem

I am a beast when I’m drunk, but could you imagine trying to corral a drunken JACKIE CHAN? That motherfucker can climb walls like Spiderman.

Rest easy jig readers, your voting franchise will be renewed for another 25 years. Although, since you haven’t voted once as yet I don’t see why you should even care. Just keep on enjoying the Kool-Aid.

kool aid

ZILLA SAYS, “WHAT DOES IT SMELL LIKE?!?”

Wednesday, July 12th, 2006

pwned

Party people, guess what time it is? Time for some free stuff. Thanks to the good folks over at ZILLA SAYS we will be giving away CD’s of the classic summer album by SHAWNNA. She is the princess of the Disturbing The Peace clique, which is comprised of LUDACRIS and… well, LUDACRIS. It’s her debut album with DTP and it’s laced with bangers like ‘My Bootie Too Big For These Jeans’ and ‘I’m Not Sure Who The Baby Daddy Is’. Listen bitches, it’s free. Free for you to bang in the whip or break your weed up on so stop complaining and get with this new feature.

WHAT DOES IT SMELL LIKE?!?
Can you think of a more important question this summer? It applies to the ladies and to the fellas. Smell might be the most important sense that attracts people to one another. Pheromones signal fertility, masculinity and vitality. And they smell good. That last thing we want to do this summer is hit something with a foul odor. That funk will just get all up in your sheets and on your skin and for the rest of the summer you will have love funk cooties. Use this feature as a guide to keeping you away from the summertime smell bads.

Here’s how it works… BLU CHEEZ displays a ghetto celeb photo and below the photo will be three images of what it smells like. You guess the right image and you are a winner. Can it all be so simple? Yep. So here we go…

halle

WHAT DOES IT SMELL LIKE?!? – HALLE’s hotpants

fish a. fish

burnt rubber b. burnt rubber

dipsy doodles c. Dipsy Doodles


lipstick

WHAT DOES IT SMELL LIKE?!? – T.I.’s lipstick

smoke a. smoke

garlic b. garlic

dawg poop c. dawg poop

She-Hulk Returns…

Wednesday, July 12th, 2006

she hulk

Guess who’s back to wearing a tennis mini-skirt?

Feast on this JOHN McENROE you homo hump.

serena

SHOGUN ASSASSIN Is The Truth!

Tuesday, July 11th, 2006

shogun assassin

All the Wu-Tang heads that peep this blog should already have this jawn in they archives. If not, you are straight up lunchin’ on one of the greatest serials ever produced into a movie. On another post we will talk about Crying Freeman, but for now let’s kick it about ‘Shogun Assassin’ a/k/a ‘Lone Wolf and Cub’. the main character is a master samurai who works for the Shogunate in feudal Japan. The Shogun is worried that the master samurai will one day come to kill him too because he is a corrupt and unjust ruler so he hires ninja to kill the master samurai. The ninja fail to kill the samurai and instead murder his wife. After that goes down shit is so on and poppin’.

shogun assassin

A great scene in the movie is when the master samurai offers his son the choice to follow his mother with Buddha or join him in hell. Shorty is only an infant but he has to choose between the ball or the sword. Shorty chooses the sword because even as a baby he is gangster like that. He and his dad roam the countryside seeking revenge from the evil Shogun and his many henchmen. Niggas die in this movie like every minute too. Decapitations, dismemberments, flying swords to the eye socket, just straight up 7-thirty wild style shit. Even shorty gets into the action by helping his dad take apart this ancient Maclaren stroller that is fitted out with knives and the what not.

shogun assassin

It’s ill to see the bond that develops between the son and the father. the movie is narrated at points by the son who recounts his dad’s exploits. Eventually the master samurai gets his revenge upon the Shogun and by that time you are delirious with laughter because there are more dead people in this film than you could ever count. QUENTIN TARANTINO is a hack job bastard, but he will stay paid in full as long as the people that see his flicks don’t know his source material. Fuck a KILL BILL. NetFlix ‘Shogun Assassin’ for yourself and tell me if it aint the most gully flick you ever watched.

shogun assassin