Archive for September, 2006

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ROOSEVELT WASHINGTON JACKSON LINKING

Sunday, September 17th, 2006

jackson

I will bet any of you there is a Black man with this name somewhere in America.

This might be a lazy Sunday for the people at DP dot com, but there are folks out there grinding on this bloggy shit like it’s getting them some of that good white girl P.U. That JESSICA SIMPSON snatch, nah’mean?!? If JESSICA SIMPSON doesn’t do it for you then just insert the foxyest piece of white tail that you know. Yup, that’s the best thing that a Black man can ever hope for. Some sweet milky meat from the master’s house. Now y’all got me off my topic which is to highlight some of the dudes that aren’t taking any days off on their blog grizzly.

JEROME BAKER is a number #1 tastemaker and bird gang fly guy. Better Than Yours isn’t just his brand, it’s his lifestyle.

SPLIFF HUXTABLE is one of the blog world’s best kept secrets. He proves that being a Hip-Hop connoisseur doesn’t mean that you have to be a cornball. His instrumental drops have my iPod on smash.

UNKUT dot com is one of the first real Hip-Hop fansites that didn’t suck and didn’t pander to any of the trends in rap music (except weedcarrying). Years from now I exprect ROBBIE to be a professor emeritus at Brown, Dartmouth or Cornell giving his lectures on long forgotten tracks like the joint from my cousin Slade Savage.

The Assimilated Negro might be the funniest site on the internets if you love snark and triple-entendre. It might also be one of the sites next to Jimi Izrael that I will openly credit for having better writing than mine on the regulack.

AMADEO SOGNI is one of the sites that I share a kindred friendship with (no Siegfried & Roy). He always manages to excavate the best YouTube clips from Adult Swim. Plus he is the only other cat on these internets that knows how to pick up a lady at a free concert and the name of the company that manufactures T.I.E. fighters.

NERDS UNITE!!!

Posted in Black Bullshit, Ghetto Celebs, Jig Lit Review, Social Upheaval | 4 Comments »

BILLY SUNDAY’s LATE NITE FUNK FLIX

Saturday, September 16th, 2006

lionheart

You can’t beast out on it this time. You have to take your time with it. Tease it a little bit. Treat it like your favorite piece of candy. Talk to it, and tell it that feels soft and warm like a quiet storm.

Now give it some more love…

Posted in Lust = Love, When I Reminisce... | 2 Comments »

TUPAC Is Still Dead To Me…

Saturday, September 16th, 2006

pac

It’s been interesting to see some of the dedications that writers have put forth to honor TUPAC SHAKUR on the tenth anniversary of his murder. What no one has really opened up is the decline of rap as an artform over the last ten years. There are still pockets of resistance for the glory days in guys like JOELL ORTIZ, the group LITTLE BROTHER, and even GAYME, but there certainly isn’t an omnipresent talent like TUPAC had become.

As usual, ESKAY is the most thorough in the game with a set of links that even the pedestrian ‘PAC fan, like myself, can appreciate.

The GLAMAZON relates a true life story about the man that she knew as a family friend long before the days of dancing with the Digital Underground.

For me TUPAC is an interesting dude. I had seen him perfrorm live at a few showcases right around the time the movie ‘Juice’ was being filmed. One of the sharpest young rappers at that point was TREACH from Naughty by Nature and I could see how TUPAC was influenced by that talented Jersey spitkicker. TREACH gave TUPAC his stage presence and even some of his mannerisms that were related to the camera. In my mind I will always see TREACH as sort of TUPAC’s mentor who didn’t have the same ambition to rule the world that TUPAC had. TREACH was more of a teacher and a groomer who gave TUPAC the style and swagger he needed to fly solo. I give TREACH credit for teaching LATIFAH how to rhyme as well.

That’s why I am pissed off that Disney fronted on me and my plans for a pilot sitcom with Reverend AL SHARPTON and TREACH as his son. It was gonna be the Hip-Hop COSBY’s until they hated and pulled the plug. I suppose there’s still a chance if the folks at TV ONE would get their shit together and sign your boy to a production deal.

sharpton

Posted in Crappers, Ghetto Celebs, When I Reminisce... | 3 Comments »

True MySpace Stories: Pimp’n Ain’t Easy

Saturday, September 16th, 2006

myspace

I’d love to tell you the stories of the reckless sex and drug filled parties that I have been going to now that BLU CHEEZ is a player on MySpace, but the truth is that we haven’t been offered a single B.J. or even an H.J. Yeah, there are wild amounts of young poon, but they all gravitate to the celeb (sho’ya right) pages.

In an effort to further this research project I was hoping to get some feedback from y’all on what makes a really good MySpace page. Do I need to have one of those crazy hypnotic backgrounds with circles spinning around all over the place, or should I go the music route and play some of the contemporary sounds that the young ladies love like FERGIE and FITTY and DIPSET?

Here’s what the page looks like right now…

Posted in BeYONCE's Hair, Black Bullshit, Fashion Faux Pas, Ghetto Celebs, Lust = Love, Social Upheaval | 7 Comments »

JAY-Z Screws The Working Man (No GREG LOUGANIS)

Saturday, September 16th, 2006

brown penis

I might have been the only person that wasn’t overjoyed with the news that JAY-Z was recording another album despite his claims of retirement. Black people have been running through the streets hugging and greeting each other as if O.J. were being acquitted a second time. Albeit, this will prah’lee be the best rap album released in 2006, topping the highly anticipated offerings from NAS and RAEKWON. With a look at the level of production lined up for this disk I can’t see how it will lose… KANGHEY, Dr.DRE and the 2006 recipient for the Bagger Vance award, TIMBERLAND (Bagger Vance awards are given to beneficent Black folk who help white get their shit right – MORGAN FREEMAN usually wins this annually).

If I were still 16 years old I would be excited about this news, but because I am a grown azz man I see a much bigger picture than just a forty year old man holding a microphone. I see a man who had worked at a profession and retired only to be forced to unretire by the people that were paying out his 401k. Universal needs a JAY-Z album just to stay in the black for this fiscal year. They don’t believe that NAS will turn in an inspired disk and they aren’t ballsy enough to bank on their stable of vets like JOE BUDDENS or the great REDMAN. So the T.I.’s at Island Records go to their ace in the hole. JAY-Z has a lust for the fame already and he has been writing rhymes to FOXY BROWN’s music ever since we all found out that she was only making deaf jams. He’s been itching to make a comeback and Universal/Island Records is desperate to sell some CD’s. Everything is not right with the world though…

JAY-Z’s unretirement is destroying the quality of life for the working class American. The precedent he is establishing is one that will be carried over into the real world as companies now bring their retirees back to the workplace in order for them to maintain their health coverage. Forget your dreams of retirement in sunny Ocala because your azz will have to stay at the mill until you die. You might as well terminate that deferred compensation plan and spend the money now on Cristal Dom Perignon and car wheels. Hip-Hop has just shattered your dreams of wearing flip flops.

ROC-A-FELLA y’all

Posted in BeYONCE's Hair, Black Bullshit, C.R.E.A.M., Crappers, Fashion Faux Pas, Ghetto Celebs | 12 Comments »

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