Editor’s note: RD is the hardest working man in the blogosphere. When he isn’t coaching superstar rappers about work ethic at their listening parties, he’s writing for no less than fifty different outlets. King Magazine online, Hip-Hop Universe, About dot com, and his very own website called, I Did It All Before My Twelth Birthday. Not to clown RD either, because he has shown that he has a mind that extends to issues far out of the reach of the majority of teenagers in America. We’re happy that he contributes to this site and we’re excited to see him jumping into the pool of politricks. The water is deep and filled with sharks, but RD has the kind of self-confidence of a Hawaiian swimmer. Let’s peep his post election gubernatorial summary.
Most of you Hip Hop cats stay as far away from politics as possible. Y’all treat politics like an estranged baby mama – distant and cancerous. There are also a large percentage of you that think politics is limited to how hairy George Bush’s ass is. Sorry, guys politics is more than just that. If y’all can just stop watching BET for a minute, and let me kick a few lines, we can all learn something valuable from politics.
If you know anything about anything you know that Eliot Spitzer was recently elected governor of NY (not like any of you voted, anyway) by defeating John Faso (the equivalent of a hapless mixtape rapper). What is more remarkable is that DL Smooth E (Democrats Love Smooth Elliot) kept it politically gully throughout his campaign. As an Attorney general, he went through the ass to make sure no shady business was going down. He gunned down each big dog in their respected field until he stood alone on the battlefield clutching his gold locket (he’s Jewish, you know). His list of prosecuted reads like a Christmas wish list:
1) Hot 97 (remember, that smack fest shit?)
2) Sony (payola)
3) AIG (accounting fraud)
4) Merrill Lynch (shady stock market manuevers)
5) Wall Street
6) S.E.C.
Shit, the only thing he hasn’t attacked yet is colon cancer. He ‘spitz’ real talk that exalts the practice of ethics which will hopefully prevent lascivious homos like Mark “Your ass” Foley from calling your son at night. Spitzer is the combustible creation made up of the grind of papoose mixed with the ruthlessness of a pre-Interscope 50 cent, stirred with the dexterity of Jay. I’m telling y’all these Jew boys come to play. If Spitzer decides to drop an album, it’s revo (the torah is read backwards). He and Scott Storch should collaborate and make an album called “I’m a Jew, So Fuck you”. It’s never too late to convert to Judaism.
Now imagine if your favorite rapper went about his business like my boy Eliot Spitzer, we wouldn’t have all this shuckling and snapping foolishness. Cats wouldn’t be decrying the domination of the South or even acknowledging the mediocrity; they would do like Spitzer and just prosecute that ass. A lot can be learned from DL Smooth E.
-RD
