Archive for March, 2007

BROOKLYN NERDS UNITE!

Sunday, March 4th, 2007

nerds

Who’s trying to fuck with the premiere of FRANK MILLER’s ‘300’ movie?

This Thursday night let’s form Voltron at the multiplex on Court Street in downtown Brooklyn.
UA Court Street Stadium 12
108 Court St., Brooklyn, NY 11201

Go to Fandango and buy your ticket for the March 8 show @ 11:59pm. We’ll meet up at the McD’s on Court Street.

Holler!

MOMMY, WHAT’s AN ‘INTERNETS CELEBRITY’?

Saturday, March 3rd, 2007

i.c.

YouTube ‘Internets Celebrity’ Mr. PREGNANT tells the truth about what it really means to be an ‘Internets Celebrity’.

After you watch this video you can send me some PayPal scrilla – bluecheese28@hotmail.com

RETURN OF THE DRAGON…

Saturday, March 3rd, 2007

bruce lee

Last week the American stock market took a tumble and the mainstream media all chimed together about how this was caused by regular folks using E-Trade at night from their home computers. That’s as if regular folks all conspired to sell the same exact stocks on the same exact evening. Ha! Regular people were too busy watching the Oprah broadcast that they TiVo’d from earlier that day, or they were too busy feeding their children. This is what regular people do. Some of us fucks with the E-Trades and the other kajillion services available that allow you to rearrange the pennies that we have miserly accumulated in our mutual funds, but there is nowhere near the amount needed to make the market kvetch like that in a single day. This was way bigger than that.

This was bigger than Enron and Worldcom too. This was some serious paper that was being reallocated. This was some global scrilla. I’m sure most of you realize the amount of money that foreign interests have invested in American business. From venture capital loans to outright ownership, sometimes the only thing that was ‘Made In America’ is the actual sticker that gets placed on an item, and that label was manufactured inside the prison industrial complex using what amounts to be slave labor on foreign built machines. So when the excrement touches the air oscillator you best believe that our overall situation is fucked the fuck up.

The only thing that keeps the lights from being shut off on our azzes is the fact that we are willing to go deep into debt to prevent ourselves from appearing to be poor. This is the second worst thing to be in America. The first should be pretty obvious to you, although it’s sometimes mitigated by receiving an Academy award for being a downtrodden, yet soulful mammy, or being the embodiment of white fear. ‘Monster Ball’ = ‘Dreamgirls’, ‘Training Day’ = ‘Last King of Scotland’. Fantasy and fear both speak to supremacy’s whispered undertone, but enough of this shiite I want to talk about America’s most dangerous enemy.

CHINA.

The mainstream media would love for you to be angry at Iran for their nuclear ambitions. As if somehow Iran would hurl bombs at us as soon as they figure out fission or fusion or whatever it is that makes the atom atomic. The truth is that Iran only wants to produce their own energy so they don’t have to buy it from other countries second hand and third hand. Energy is that boss shiite right there son. You wake up at six a.m. and you go to the loo to piss off the nights’ sweat and you don’t think twice about flicking your light switch. You have it so easy that you don’t even know. Easy also because if you do have an electric bill it’s ridiculously cheap and affordable. Now imagine if your neighborhood had a ration on electric power which also controlled your running water and your heat? The real world is a whole lot bigger than Hip-Hop.

bruce lee

So what if China is restructuring their loans to the U.S.? What does that mean for bottomfeeders like you and I? Not too much in the comprehensive sense I suppose, maybe our children’s children will have to remain in this caste system as well, but I didn’t see that changing anyhoo. From a global standpoint it looks as though we have to recognize our place as not the only superpower on the planet, but one of many. I’ve noticed that Russia has been feeling herself lately. I give the Russians credit for having one of the most hardbody mafias on the planet, but they lose points as a country because they constantly have toilet paper shortages. Toilet paper shortages in China? Not so much.

I knew China was about to rise up after I read this article where this Chinese science fiction author was shitting on Blacks and whites. He is creating a science fiction series and leaving Blacks and whites out of the future. This son of a bitch is doing the same thing that white has been doing for the last fifty years. I can just see his Matrix trilogy with all Asian characters. The fight scenes will be so much iller. Blacks will have no place in the future unless we get on our OCTAVIA BUTLER grind and create some epic stories. I just hope that when the Chinese people take over they show me some love for all the gotdamn chow fun and crispy duck I have bought over the years.

Peace out to KAM HONG Take Out on Washington Ave and St. John’s Place closing down after thirty years because the old man is getting a back operation. The best fried chicken wings and P.F. rice. Evar!

Further proof that the Wu Tang Clan ain’t nothing to fuck with is how decidely Asian def poet BEAU SIA pwns decidely lesbian lard azz talks show host ROSIE McDONNELL after her disparaging racial remarks against Chinese people.

bruce lee

AMERICA’s NEXT TOP H.A.M.

Friday, March 2nd, 2007

toni

I apologize to all of the loyal DP Dot Com fans that have been patiently waiting for that piffy pfft that the world’s most dangerous website is known for bringing. I’m trying to stay in the forefront of this blogosphere edutainment phenomenon and it feels like the world’s moves faster than my broadband connection sometimes. Anyhoo, with so many choices on these world wide webs I’m thankful that you spend your money here with me.

We gon’ jump off Women’s History Month with our annual Hot Ass Mess pageant. TONI BRAXTON’s twat must be on fire because for the past two years she has been airing her shit out in public. Go copp some cream for that itch TONI and I’ll still beat. Hell, even BeYONCE has hepatitis now. Or it that SASHA that was at the Sports Illustrated party?

As always, the H.A.M. movement owes a debt of recognition to Crunk and Disorderly, the mother of the this blog shit and her sister, the Concrete Loop.

AMERICA’s NEXT TOP H.A.M.