Archive for November, 2007

The Real Rock Girls by MAXINE

Wednesday, November 28th, 2007

roc girls

Rock Girls in the building tonight
Look at how I’m chillin, Im killin this ice
You dont even gotta bring your purses out
We the dope girls of the year TUITION is on the house!!!

The Association of American Colleges (AAC) was established at a meeting of college presidents in Chicago in 1915. Robert Kelly, president of Earlham College, was appointed the first president of the 179 member coalition. Throughout the century, the AAC has had a number of milestones, including blasting colleges and universities for losing value of liberal education, to being kicked out of Lafayette Square in D.C. after the President pre-empted its space.

The most interesting thing about the AAC is that in 1918, then President Lyman Lowell announced that fifty American colleges and universities would offer scholarships, expense allowances or free tutition to girls from France who came to this country for education. The reason for this outpour of generosity is supposedly because World War I had severely retarded France’s education system, and left the women and girls without means for educating themselves.

One way the women would be able to pay off their education is with fees paid to them for providing instructions in their own languages, or through scholarships and expense allowances. Lowell’s stance is that a group of students in each university would increase relations between the countries and make each more determined to win the war.

Bullshit! I don’t believe a fucking word of it. Since when do Americans, at the height of a world war, become concerned about the education of girls in general, much less French girls? Especially French girls whose families would otherwise have the money to pay for their education. Since when did America’s education system become a pillar of support for anyone, much less an associated power in a world war? President Woodrow Wilson was determined not to even term the U.S. an ally during the war. This is some shady shit to the fullest. In my humble opinion the evidence shows that those French broads were running drugs! Walk with me on this shit…

roc girls

Narcotics smuggling represented a colonial monopoly. Those who had it sold it and those who didn’t have it bought it. World War I provided many with the opportunity to profit off the lucrative trade and smuggling of lots of different items from pepper, tea, and ginger to opium derivatives. Where in the United States can you find large groups of severely impressionable people looking to expand their minds? Colleges and universities. Who better to further this expansion? Foreign chicks who barely speak English.

It is widely speculated that these ladies were the direct relatives of the infamous French mafia, Unione Corse. Most known for “Air Opium” and the French Connection. These dudes are so bad that when one of their own was arrested in the 60’s for carrying around $247,000 in cash from a suspected drug deal, he was released and the government paid him back, with interest! The Teflon Don ain’t got shit on these cats.

Narcotics and marijuana were perfectly legal in the US until the Harrison Narcotics Act of 1914 and subsequent laws changed the rules in the middle of the game. Opiates being refined in Marseilles were high market value in the US, during this time, drug agents seized 44 pounds of opium basically because the American government wasn’t getting their cut. As a compromise with the Corse, in 1916 the Supreme Court ruled that the government had no regulation over drugs and drug users, however,selling drugs was still illegal. Guess what Lyman Lowell of the AAC was doing between 1916 and 1918? Working abroad in Marseilles, France!

Every good dealer needs a front. Something that acts as a legit machine while making the real paper behind the scenes. The plan to offer free tuition to French girls through the AAC was brilliant. No one would ever suspect female foreign exchange students to be drug smuggling mules. It gave the Corse a direct link to willing customers, a ‘Thor’s hammer’ so to speak, and they didn’t get caught, and I can almost guaran-damn-tee that none of them ever became rappers.

The French motto is “Liberty, Equality, Fraternity.” We all know the word fraternity is really a collegiate euphemism for getting fucked the fuck up, so it was all in the blueprints from the beginning! If you take a look, you can chase that damn dragon right back to the warm bosom of a sexy French co-ed fresh off the boat.

Obtenir de l’argent! Get that money bitches!

roc girls

roc girls


Wednesday, November 28th, 2007

dark knight mixtape

Concept albums are all the rage now. What with T.I. and Jay-Z setting the world on fire with their latest releases and my all-time favorite album from Ol’ Dirty Bastard titled ‘Nigga Please!’, I thought I would try to throw my hat into the ring and make my own concept album. Not with my own original music mind you, because no one would want to hear that shit, but with other people’s music. Kind of like how I use other people’s photo images on my website.

I decided to create a CD that would represent my vision for the new Batman movie. Consider this CD the unofficial score for this upcoming film ‘Dark Knight’. I reached out to internets celebrity Combat Jack for his curatorial advice on which tracks best described the murky grittiness of Gotham City, the pathological sickness of the Joker, and the equally pathological determination of the Batman. What you have in your hand is fifteen tracks of brawlic beatdown madness.

The Joker kills some people. The Batman kicks his ass. The Joker kills some more people and the Batman kicks his ass again. Wash, rinse and repeat. The Joker and the Batman are symbiotic creatures. Each one needs the other to survive. I’m not even going to waste your time with my psychoanalysis of the crazy dance that these two characters perform. Just place this CD in a player that you can turn the volume up to 100 and tie a blanket around your neck. It’s time to save the world.

CD Tracklist
The Doors – ‘5 to 1’
Mobb Deep – ‘Shook Ones pt.2’
Geto Boys – ‘Mind Playing Tricks On Me’
Jimi Hendrix – ‘Voodoo Child’
Fifty Cent (featuring MJB) – ‘All Of Me’
Tragedy Khadafi, Mobb Deep, CNN – ‘L.A., L.A.’
Damien Marley – Welcome To Jamrock’
Tah Murda – ‘Pov City Anthem’
Gil Scot-Heron – ‘We Almost Lost Detroit’
Cypress Hill – ‘How I Could Just Kill A Man’
Dr. Dre featuring Snoop Dogg – ‘Deep Cover’
Bob James – ‘Nautilus’
Notorious B.I.G. – ‘Kick In The Door’
Mobb Deep – ‘Quiet Storm’
The Doors – ‘The End’

*Join the DP Dot Com Snail Mail list and receive a copy of the DARK KNIGHT Mixtape


Tuesday, November 27th, 2007

stand up

Hip-Hop used to be a lot like professional wrestling, but now it’s more like bowling. You don’t know whose hands have been touching some of these rappers’ balls, and some of the ladies have bigger balls than the men.

With that said, the i.C.’s had a little contest against the emcees that will be featured at the Stand Up! rap showcase. Underground Hip-Hop was definetly in the building. Hip-Hop at its best will be in effect on December 6th, 2007. Piano’s on Ludlow Street, NYC. 9pm.

Copp your tickets now and hang out with us and your new favorite rappers. These cats can actually bowl too [ll].


Tuesday, November 27th, 2007


Editor’s note: Exactly one year ago to this very day I dropped a post with the same headline. In the space of that year the only thing that has become readily apparent is that handguns are manufactured primarily for killing Black males, no matter whose hands they rest in. The comments below are from a reader who may not have seen my drop regarding my good friend and co-worker RAY BARNETT. The trend of Black males being slaughtered in America is a human crisis that must be challenged. If not by us, then by whom?

Sup, Fam? I think, somewhat-justifiably, that there’s always a tendency to think that there’s a karmic subtext to these situations when an athlete/rap star gets robbed or something bad happens to them. We’ve gotta be honest-the Pacman Joneses and Michael Vicks of the world leave an incredibly strong impression on our psyches giving the impression that these “spoiled brats” merely get what’s coming to them. Even the amount of attention that these brats get in 1) jail, 2) infamy, (and in this case) 3) death is a reflection of their privileged status-if you or I were to get shot, we’d get, at most, a sentence in the newspaper.

Still, this is tragic. I don’t know Sean Taylor. He seemed to be getting his life together, however, and doesn’t seem to fit the other prerequisites for a tragic death. No diss songs to everyone on the East Coast or tattoos with street names on his neck or making it rain in strip clubs or giving chicks STDs and dog-fighting or even flashing his Cartier watches and iced-out grill. He was in his house, doing the family thing with his lady and his seed, where he was supposed to be.

The grim, horrible statistic wins again

R.I.P. Sean Taylor


Taking One For The Team[ll]…

Tuesday, November 27th, 2007


There’s one thing that all coaches and managers of professional sports teams share in common. The fact that they will be earning less than the players they have to direct. Understandably so as well, I don’t go to MSG to watch ISAIAH THOMAS. Even if ISAIAH was wearing a Knicks jersey I wouldn’t go to the Garden to see his old ass get pwned by dudes like CHRIS PAUL or TONY PARKER. It’s all about the players on the court and the amount of effort they exude towards winning that I pay for.

So why is it that people pay good money to bring their children to sporting events in order to boo the coach? ISAIAH THOMAS needs to upgrade his rabbi. All the fans of the television show ‘Grey’s Anatomy’ have been selling their ‘Fire Isaiah’ placards in front of MSG. What’s ISAIAH’s offense in these people’s minds? It’s more like a lack of offense from the team he coaches, and more importantly, a lack of defense. I still don’t see the Knicks quitting on their coach which is the biggest reason you fire someone from that position. And when the Knicks brass has canned ISAIAH who do we hire? JOEY from Straight Bangin’?!? Hell nahh! The internets needs him to help us sort out our 1990’s greatest rap album angst.

Now you don’t see folks in Philadelphia shelling out money for their kids to heckle the Eagles head coach. Lord knows how much the folks in Philly love to get irate too. You’ve seen the crime stats right? This is the same Philadelphia that booed the draft selection of DONOVAN McNABB. It turns out that McNABB has been the best quarterback in an Eagles uniform since SONNY JURGENSEN, or was it NORM VAN BROCKLIN. Nevermind who it was, since motherfuckers were wearing leather helmets back then anyhoo.

I suppose some people think that the Eagles head coach ANDY REID deserves a pass this season since two of his sons are in the clink. That’s crazy talk. Whatever his sons did to get put in jail I’m sure they deserved it. Rich white kids don’t go to jail unless they are extremely out of pocket. Hell, the KENNEDY’s are known to kill a bitch or two and they have never smelled the inside of a jail cell, so whatever ANDY REID’s ill seeds were convicted for you can rest assured that they have done at least ten times worse that amount.

Eagle’s fans are quick to spit their venom at their quarterback or TERRELL OWENS when their season hits the skids, but they never come after REID who has a record now of failing to capture the big game. You can’t have it both ways. It’s either the players’ responsibility to “get ‘er done”, or it’s the fault of the entire kit and caboodle when the shit goes sour. If ANDY REID isn’t fired for losing the control and motivation of his football team, he should be fired for enabling his kids to be social shitbags.

Tons of states have been adopting laws that punish derelict parents for the transgressions committed by their children. If there was ever a parent that needed to get a real life timeout I think ANDY REID should be the posterchild. No more videotape reviews after game day. No more heartfelt team meetings proclaiming DONOVBAN McNABB as the starting QB. Nothing but a ‘Ho Sit Down’ for you ANDY REID. Your fucking rich family is singlehandedly raising crime statistics in Philadelphia. They are taking the dishonest work away from the marginalized, disenfranchised residents of Philly.

“Andy Reid should kill himself. Like now.

Bring back Buddy Ryan.”