Archive for December, 2007

Got A Rocket In My Pocket? (Writer’s Strike Re-Runs)

Friday, December 14th, 2007

rocket

Let me just say that you would have to be pretty naive to think that ROGER CLEMENS didn’t dope up in order to remain dominant in the game of baseball. Unlike BARRY BONDS, he has been able to mostly fly under the radar due to other factors here in America (read: Supremacy-The Inconvenient Truth). Contrary to the mainstream media stories, steroids and performance enhancing drugs don’t make regular players superstars, but they do allow superstars to shine for longer periods. The window of opportunity to be a viable professional athlete is small. Performance enhancing drugs allow that athlete a chance to add a brief extension to that window. It doesn’t last forever and the downside is that the post-retirement lifestyle is usually short as well. Just look at LYLE ALZADO.

Former major league pitcher JASON GRIMSLEY is putting peoples’ business on front street now that the F.B.I. is getting up in his shit like RICHARD GERE’s hamsters. I don’t feel bad for CLEMENS or for ANDY PETITTE or any players that are implicated for juicing. It sucks that the players are forced to take the whole weight like JANET was forced to bear that cross after her titty went on television. The baseball team owners are just as complicit as the players are. The Houston Astros trotted CLEMENS out for the home fans one last time before the season was to end. By doing so they pushed CLEMENS out of his normal spot in the rotation and thereby took a day of rest from him. The management says that this was a gift to the fans. I hope CLEMENS gets a nice bonus for the azzes that he puts in the seats at Minute Maid park. In any case, its clear to me who gets the kid glove treatment when the talk of using anabolic steroids is flung around. Clear as the cream and the clear.

KeiStar Productions Presents SOUL SEARCH 12.15.07

Thursday, December 13th, 2007

soul search

If you live on the planet of Brooklyn I shouldn’t even have to tell you what it is when KeiStar and DJ Spinna are in the building, but since I am doing it anyhoo, listen up…

Saturday 12.15.07

KeiStar Productions Presents

SOUL SEARCH (The Ultimate SOULFUL Pre-Holiday Jam!)

Music By: DJ SPINNA
* Soulful House * Hip-Hop Classics * Dance Classics * Disco * Funk * R & B * Old School/New School & More…

@ Sputnik
262 Taffe Place
(Bet. Dekalb & Willouhgby Aves-near Classon Ave, Brooklyn, NY)
Doors 10PM-4AM

$10 Reduced Admission when you say Dallas Penn Dot Com to the cashier.

POLITRICKS 2008: I Get High With A Little Help From My Friends…

Thursday, December 13th, 2007

obaama

It was free button night at the S.O. hall, and guess who wanted to give away bumper stickers as well?

When operatives of the HILLARY CLINTON campaign machine said that BARACK OBAAMA’s drug use will be his Achilles’ Heel in his Democratic nomination bid I LOL’d. I mean, between BILL CLINTON and GEORGE BUSH Jr’s checkered histories with illicit drugs we have had two 2-term presidents. The biggest difference between those dudes and OBAAMA is… Well… Yeah, other than that.

OBAAMA’s single greatest political asset is that he has been remarkably honest when divulging parts of his past, whether it was the fact that he had once owned his parents as a former slave master or the fact that he liked to smoke crills with MARION BARRY. None of those shortcomings are as bad as someone who would bankrupt the nation in the guise of a fiscal surplus, or someone who would send the sons and daughters of the poor to die in the desert a world away.

For the last uhdeen years the president of the United States has been anything but honest. There was that blip with JIMMY CARTER, but before and after since nothing but rapscallions and ne’er do wells. You see I equate marital infidelity with wiretapping or perjury. They all point to a deficit of the ethical nature. What I can’t believe is that I am here describing a political actor for his candor and forthright character. What I also can’t believe is that Americans still want to maintain the lies that have been disproven time and again. The assassinations of JFK, MLK and X must have been the greatest national mindfucks evar. People are still shook ones to this day over those murders. Why else wouldn’t people demand their rights now?

I’m talking about the right to be given an honest assessment of our national forecast. Then again, maybe the honest truth is that as a country, we Americans can’t handle the truth.

PIMPIN’ INCORPORATED…

Thursday, December 13th, 2007

ike

Somebody need to pour some good shit on the ground for a real pimp. Real pimps don’t have to put the word ‘pimp’ in their names. You already know. Respect the motherfucker that singlehandedly made you change the name of tank top t-shirts.

And don’t pour out no fag ass liquer either. Get that good shit off your top shelf. That Patron motherbitches, because this nigga is only coming back in reruns. Before there was a RICK JAMES, there was an IKE TURNER. Before there was a CHARLIE SHEEN on the scene IKE TURNER was knocking broads unconscious.

There are times when you need to knock a chick the fuck out. I didn’t say hurt her, or even bruise her, but knock her ass the fuck out. Like, “Biiiiiiiiitch! Stop talking that shit, and suck a nigga dick for an outfit”.

And then she might say some shit like, “It must be the money ‘cuz it ain’t yo’ dick!”

Which is all good and then you say, “Work that ass a lil’ harder and this nigga might buy you a Starter.”

And then shorty says some shit about your momma…

You have to knock that chick out and steal her seat while she is asleep. This is the lesson that IKE TURNER taught us. Just look at how well it paid off for TINA TURNER. Her nutbush ass is still wearing mini skirts and high heels at damn near seventy years old. You’d still hit that shit too. I know I would. Not in an IKE TURNER way, but like in the biblical sense.

This drop isn’t posted to make fun of IKE TURNER’s life or death. More than anything this is a realization that during the course of relationships shit can get really physical(no OLIVIA NEWTON-JOHN). Respect due to all the women that can take an ass kicking too without resorting to drugs or alcohol to self medicate.

Basically, the masochists. I see y’all out there.

DP Dot Com Iron-Man Mini-Movie…

Wednesday, December 12th, 2007

iron man

First off, these are action figures, and NOT dolls!

Secondly, I am just getting myself hyphy for all the superhero films dropping next year.

Third, I have several more action figure movies planned so don’t be surprised when you see me getting my ‘Robot Chicken’ on over here. If you got a problem just keep in mind that the Huffington Post doesn’t make action figure video clips.

DP Dot Com = Huffington Post x Electric Company + Benny Hill