Archive for January, 2008

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DP Dot Com x NFL Playoffs Pool Scoreboard

Tuesday, January 8th, 2008

jacobs

Peep son’s face while trying to tackle JACOBS…

Okay, so here are the final tallies for Wild Card Weekend…

Pittsburgh
N. Davenport – 48yds overall = 4pts, 2TD = 12pts / Total = 16pts
H. Miller – 85yds overall = 8pts, 1TD = 6pts / Total = 14pts
H. Ward – 135yds overall / Total = 13pts
S. Holmes – 49yds overall = 4pts, 1TD = 6pts / Total = 10pts
M. Spaeth – Total – 0pts
W. Parker – Total – 0pts
DEFENSE – 2INT = 2pts, 4SCKS = 4pts / Total = 6pts

Washington
C. Portis – 80yds overall = 8pts / Total = 8pts
A. Randle El – 96yds overall = 9pts, 1TD = 6pts / Total = 15pts
C. Cooley – 46yds overall = 4pts / Total = 4pts
S. Suisham – 2XP = 2pts / Total = 2pts
DEFENSE – 2INT = 2pts, 1SCK = 1pt / Total = 3pts

Seattle
S. Alexander – 45yds overall = 4pts / Total = 4pts
N. Burleson – 64yds overall = 6pts / Total = 6pts
M. Pollard – 2XP = 2pts / Total = 2pts
J. Brown – 2FG = 6pts, 3XP = 3pts / Total = 9pts

Jacksonville
F. Taylor – 50yds overall = 5pts, 1TD = 6pts / Total = 11pts
M. Jones-Drew – 72yds overall = 7pts, 2 TD = 12pts / Total = 19pts
M. Lewis – 16yds overall = 1pt / Total = 1pt
J. Scobee – 1FG = 3pts, 4XP = 4pts / Total = 7pts
DEFENSE – 3INT = 3pts, 6SCKS = 6pts, 1FR = 1pt, 1TD = 6pts / Total = 16pts

Tampa Bay
E. Graham- 90yds overall = 9pts, 1TD = 6pts / Total = 15pts
M. Spurlock – Total = 0pts
J. Galloway – Total = 0pts
DEFENSE – 1SCK = 1pt / Total – 1pt

Tennessee
R. Bironas – 2FG = 6pts / Total = 6pts

San Diego
L. Tomlinson – 61yds overall = 6pts, 1TD = 6pts / Total = 12pts
C. Chambers – 121yds overall = 12pts / Total = 12pts
A. Gates – 15yds overall = 1pt / Total = 1pt

New York
B. Jacobs – 50yds overall = 5pts, 2TD = 12pts / Total = 17pts
P. Burress – 38yds overall = 3pts / Total = 3pts
L. Tynes – 1FG = 3pts, 3XP = 3pts / Total = 6pts
DEFENSE – 2INT = 2pts, 1SCK = 1pt, 1FR = 1pts / Total = 4pts

Thanks to Angry Citizen for double-checking our defense totals

Here’s a look at the scores of our poolers…

  • the ambassador – 31pts

    • QB – Tom Brady (Patriots) – 0
    RB – Vernand Morency (Packers) – 0
    RB – Shaun Alexander (Seahawks) – 4
    WR – Micheal Spurlock (Buccaneers) – 0
    WR – Antwaan Randle El (Redskins) – 15
    TE – Matt Spaeth (Steelers) – 0
    FLEX – Chris Chambers (Chargers – WR) – 12
    KICKER – Adam Vinatieri (Colts) – 0
    D/ST – Dallas Cowboys – 0

  • Peter Divito – 40pts

    • QB BRADY – 0
    RB L TOMLINSON – 12
    RB B JACOBS – 17
    WR S HOLMES – 10
    WR R. WAYNE – 0
    TE MERCEDES LEWIS – 1
    FLEX C. PORTIS –
    K CROSBY – 0
    DEF DALLAS – 0

  • Paul Ruppert – 37pts

    • QB – Peyton Manning (IND) – 0
    RB – L. Tomlinson (SD) – 12
    RB – Clinton Portis (WAS)
    WR – Randy Moss (NE) – 0
    WR – Donald Driver (GNB) – 0
    TE – Heath Miller (PIT) – 14
    FLEX- Nate Burleson (SEA) – 6
    K- Lawrence Tynes (NYG) – 7
    D/ST- Dallas – 0

  • KiNGrEX – 47pts

    • QB=TOM BRADY – 0
    RB=FRED TAYLOR – 11
    RB=EARNEST GRAHAM – 15
    WR=DONALD DRIVER – 0
    WR=REGGIE WAYNE – 0
    TE=ANTONIO GATES – 1
    FLEX=BRANDON JACOBS – 17
    K=NICK FOLK – 0
    D/ST=WASHINGTON – 3

  • zillz – 27pts

    • peyton manning – 0
    LT – 12
    maurice jones drew – 14
    donald driver – 0
    randy moss – 0
    jason witten – 0
    folk -0
    bucs – 1

  • MrEin = 0pts
  • Casey – 25pts

    • QB Favre – 0
    RB Alexander – 4
    RB C Portis – 8
    WR TO – 0
    WR Randy Moss – 0
    TE Antonio Gates – 1
    Flex Addai – 0
    K L. Tynes – 6
    D/ST Pittsburgh – 6

  • dubble up – 18pts

    • QB – T. Brady (Pats) – 0
    RB – N Davenport (Steelers)
    RB – J. Addai (Colts) -0
    WR – S. Bodiford (Packers) -0
    WR – J. Galloway (Tampa Bay) – 0
    TE – M. Pollard (Seattle) – 2
    FLEX – L. Tomlinson (Chargers) = 12
    K – N. Folk (Cowboys) – 0
    D/ST – Giants – 4

  • Angry Citizen – 35pts

    • QB – Brady (NE) – 0
    RB – R. Grant (GB) – 0
    RB – S. Alexander (SEA) – 4
    WR – R. Wayne (IND) – 0
    WR – T. Owens (DAL) – 0
    TE – A. Gates (SD) – 1
    FLEX – B. Jacobs (NYG) – 17
    K – Scobee (Jags) – 7
    D/ST – Steelers – 6

  • Jaislayer – 67pts

    • QB- Peyton Manning (COLTS) – 0
    RB- Fred Taylor (JAGS) – 11
    RB- Brandon Jacobs (GIANTS) – 17
    WR- Randy Moss (PATS) – 0
    WR- Hines Ward (STEELERS) – 14
    TE- Cris Cooley (REDSKINS) – 4
    FLEX- L. Tomlinson (CHARGERS) – 12
    K- Josh Brown (SEAHAWKS) – 9
    D/ST- DALLAS – 0

  • iFux aka Etheraldinho aka Farouq Obama aka Kasual Kashmere aka Mickey Magnum aka Phil da Advil – 61pts

    • qb Peyton Manning – 0
    rb Tomlinson – 12
    wr T Owens – 0
    wr Randy Moss – 0
    Te Heath Miller – 14
    Flex Brandon Jacobs – 17
    K Redskins Kicker (dont know his name) – 2
    d Jaguars – 16

  • BiggSipp – 31pts

    • QB – Peyton Manning (IND) – 0
    RB – Fred Taylor (JAC) – 11
    RB – Marion Barber (DAL) – 0
    WR – Plaxico Buress (NYG) – 3
    WR – Randy Moss (NE) – 0
    TE – Chris Cooley (WAS) – 4
    FLEX – LaDanian Tomlinson (SD) – 12
    K – Mason Crosby (GB) – 0
    D/ ST – Tampa Bay – 1

  • N.O. 4 life – 39pts

    • qb – peyton manning (ind) – 0
    rb – maurice jones drew (jac) – 19
    rb – ladanian tomlinson (sd) – 12
    wr – randy moss (ne) – 0
    wr – terrell owens (dal) – 0
    te – donald lee (gb) – 0
    flex – shaun alexander (sea) – 4
    d/st – giants – 4

  • p-city – 33pts

    • QB – Peyton Manning (Ind) – 0
    RB – Ladanian Tomlinson (SD) – 12
    WR – Randy Moss (NE) – 0
    WR – Hines Ward (Pitt) – 13
    Flex – Clinton Portis (Was) – 8
    K – Nick Folk (Dal) – 0
    D/ST – New England – 0

  • the dallas – 33pts

    • QB – Tom Brady – 0
    RB – LT(omlinson) – 12
    RB – Fred Taylor – 11
    WR – Donald Driver – 0
    WR – Plaxico Burress – 3
    TE – Jason Witten – 0
    FLEX- Joseph Addai – 0
    K- Rob Bironas – 6
    D/ST- Tampa Bay – 1

    Posted in No Boutros Boutros... Ghali, Sports are Gay | 6 Comments »

    A Referendum On Lightskinded Negroes…

    Tuesday, January 8th, 2008

    ccuin

    What the fuck is going on internets?!? Just last week I proclaimed that 2008 would be the year that lightskinded negroes returned to the top of the non-white food chain. On the strength of entertainers like the ubiquitous BeYonce and the earthen toned entertainer Common we were on a roll.

    In just one weekend in January shit has gotten all scary again for us good hair brothers. First, Elliott Wilson, the editor in chief at XXL is killed. Figuratively, I’ll assume, although Harris Publications does put out more gun magazines than your average.

    Secondly, the good-haired jig boy pictured above went all Hannibal Lechter and put his girlfriend in his mother’s cook up pot. Christopher Lee McCuin, you are fucking up the racial spectrum. Black people do not cook and eat people. Leave that shit to white along with curling.

    Just when I was going to get into my Al B Sure ‘In Effect Mode’ some lightskinded negroes are effing up my swagger. I’m on my way to the supermarket now to pick up some curl activator to place on my altar. Tony Dungy, you need to get a win the weekend and put us back on top of this Black bullshit.

    ‘Black Coach’ theme song – Jay Smooth @ illdoctrine dot com

    Posted in BeYONCE's Hair, Billy Sunday @ XXL, Black Bullshit, Harpers Weekly Review, Social Upheaval, Wig Owners | 21 Comments »

    GLOBAL CLIMATE CHANGE CLOTHES…

    Tuesday, January 8th, 2008

    winter bikini

    Editor’s note: The Ambassador is back with us for the new year.

    Now don’t get it twisted, Virginia may be a Southern state, but it gets damn cold here during the wintertime. Probably just as cold as it gets up in DP’s neck of the woods, except with less snow. Or so I thought.

    I know I’ve been lazy lately, and I know I’ve been sleeping a lot, but I didn’t think I was hibernating. However that’s the only explanation I can muster up that seems to explain the fact that I woke up this morning (er…afternoon) to the month of April.

    Wait…it’s not really April? I’m awake right now? You mean I was outside this afternoon, chillin on the concrete step behind my place, eating my cereal in a wifebeater and no jacket…in January?! Now I know what you’re all thinking – global warming, Al Gore was right, “I wonder what the Ambassador looks like in a wifebeater?”. Yeah, don’t act like I don’t see you.

    Well, according to the notoriously incorrect weather forecaster types on the local news, we Virginians have the West to thank for this wonderful weather. While our Cali friends are getting shitted on by rain and their homes are sliding down hills faster than Starbucks’ stocks before they replaced their CEO, we here in the usually-forgotten-about Mid-Atlantic are in paradise. Supposedly it has something to do with a warm front that the storm system out West is pushing across the country, but who needs technicalities when there’s springtime air to be inhaled?

    I’m sure there are still a lot of you reading this who swear that this freak occurrence is caused by global warming, or as most scientists would more properly name it these days, global “climate change”. Well you know what I say? Hit up my cell phone the next time you’re having a house party, because I bet that you believers of the heat know how to set shit off. There is a
    simple logic to this: the hotter it gets, the less clothes people wear. Well, at least if you’re not one of those white boys who goes outside in the snow in some shorts. That is one phenomenon that I have never been able to understand. Somebody enlighten me, please.

    In all seriousness (or maybe not), climate change is a nudist’s dream come true. With a rise in average temperatures, I predict a rise in Victoria’s Secret stocks, gym memberships, and trips to the salon to get a Brazilian wax. Imagine taking a trip up to Canada in December and seeing the women walk around in miniskirts and the men out jogging in the morning shirtless? Oh, the possibilities.

    So as I shed some layers in honor of this meteorologically gorgeous day, I’ll leave you with the poignant words of one Cornell Haynes Jr.: “It’s gettin’ hot in here, so take off all your clothes”. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some chlorofluorocarbons to spray in the general direction of the guy I just saw walking past my window.

    Posted in Fashion Faux Pas, iNternets Celebrities, Lust = Love, The Ambassador, The Guest Room | 12 Comments »

    Charge It To The Game…

    Monday, January 7th, 2008

    omlinson

    The first weekend of the NFL post-season is in the books. Here’s the breakdown for Sunday’s game day stats.

    Next year is tomorrow for Tennessee and Tampa Bay…

    Tampa Bay
    E. Graham- 90yds overall = 9pts, 1TD = 6pts / Total = 15pts
    M. Spurlock – Total = 0pts
    J. Galloway – Total = 0pts
    DEFENSE – Total – 0pts

    Tennessee
    R. Bironas – 2FG = 6pts / Total = 6pts

    The Chargers and the Giants handled their B.I…

    San Diego
    L. Tomlinson – 61yds overall = 6pts, 1TD = 6pts / Total = 12pts
    C. Chambers – 121yds overall = 12pts / Total = 12pts
    A. Gates – 15yds overall = 1pt / Total = 1pt

    New York
    B. Jacobs – 50yds overall = 5pts, 2TD = 12pts / Total = 17pts
    P. Burress – 38yds overall = 3pts / Total = 3pts
    L. Tynes – 1FG = 3pts, 3XP = 3pts / Total = 6pts
    DEFENSE – 2INT = 2pts, 1FR = 1pts / Total = 3pts

    Posted in Fanboy Ish, No Boutros Boutros... Ghali, Sports are Gay | 13 Comments »

    THE WRITER’s GUILD STRIKES OUT…

    Monday, January 7th, 2008

    wgae hat

    My Writer’s Guild cap = virtually worthless…

    For most intensive purposes the Writer’s Guild strike has been a striking failure. The daily fake news shows and late night talk shows will be aired live again starting today before the striking writers have reached any agreements with the production studios.

    This sucks on so many levels I can’t even begin to count them. Firstly, trade unions are reeling nationwide because their membership no longer cares about the next generation of tradesmen that will inherit these unions in the future.

    Surely there was a lack of credible union leadership being expressed from the Writer’s Guild management but at the end of the day these tradesmen needed to take a stand for themselves and their rights. Evidently the wealth inside of the WGA membership has turned these men into mice.

    I will continue to forge ahead with content and information created directly for the internets, but I am reminded that if I ever receive the opportunity to expand my platform it will be under the provisions outside of my control. The writers have ceded their intellectual property over to the studios for rebroadcast on any platform the studios choose.

    Residuals have paid many mortgages to homes that people would otherwise not be able to afford and put many a kid through an expensive college that they probably didn’t deserve to go to either. I normally champion the cause that refutes privilege and dismantles the status quo. The only reason these writers deserved to win this fight was not because they are a noble courageous lot, which they are not, but because the studios already have more money than they know what to do with.

    Posted in C.R.E.A.M., Harpers Weekly Review, HUFF YOU!, iNternets Celebrities, Jig Lit Review, Social Upheaval, T.O.N.Y., The MGMT, Wig Owners | 9 Comments »

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