The iNternets Celebrities better step up their game if they want to stay relevant to the under 16 and semi-retahded Lil’ Wayne listening demographic.
Cousin Todd and ‘Snacks’ Nicholson are coming for that i.C. crown.
These fools even shot a video in my very own O.G. hangout Cozy’s
If TONI MORRISON can get away with calling BILL CLINTON our first Black president because he…
then I can apply the same principles to the New England Patriots QB TOM BRADY…
Somebody is gonna have to send DOUG WILLIAMS a ‘Ho Sit Down’ e-mail…
I was obviously very happy to be there in front of the Gare de Lyon train station in Paris. If you get a few coins gifted to you from Uncle Sam on your tax returns I suggest you take a trip to London or Paris. C.S. and I made that jump only two years ago… Damn, it seems a lot longer now. By hook or crook I am getting my passport stamped again this summer.
Whenever I think of going overseas I think of rocking my adidas. Nike has all my U.S. maneuvers on smash, but as soon as I get to an international airport I have to fucks with the three stripe brand. I’m not saying that I won’t copp an exclusive pair of Nikes if I come across them, word to my UNDFTD Dunks, but you gotta understand that adidas runs the sneaker game everywhere other than the States and Japan.
adidas Originals has been hitting up my e-mail with some promo offers like free shipping and the what not. I don’t need free shipping since the adidas Originals store is on my downtown radar anyhoo. I just have to fall through and get at the bossman Dantana for my i.C. discount. Let’s see what they are working with that might be worth the trip…
The Decade Hi
I fucks with these for the gold accent and the gumsoles. However, I am changing the lacing to black though because gold laces make me look like I’m trying too hard to bring back kangols and dookie ropes.
The ZX Air Jamaica
adidas stays representing for the ‘yardboys and ‘yardgirls. Word to MAVIS BAILEY.
The ZX Stealth
See how the black laces just smooth out the leather upper? This is a nice little shoe to fuck around on some classy, casual shit. You gotta have a pair of kicks that you can wear with a blazer or sportjacket and look like you still mean business.
The ZX Safety Soles
Nike does this neon green on a lot of their running shoes and adidas does the safety orange. The ZX is a signature styleway platform from adidas that can go really high end depending on what leathers and materials they insert on the shoe.
The ZX 800
This is what I’m talking about. Premium leather and suede. adidas needs to keep making these joints. Not so much for the next pair…
The ZX Black History Month
I ain’t mad at adidas because they are trying to fuck around with that Nike clientele. Someone might copp these joints and think they were holding it down for Africa. They’d be wrong though.
The Rod Laver
Fuck these mesh Rod Lavers. adidas needs to bring back the all leather Lavers with the oxblood soles. I’ll copp two pairs of those joints. The all leather Lavers are one of the gemstones that adorn the Holy Grail of sneaker collecting.
Editor’s note: Sneaker Fiends United west coast bureau chief MEKA SOUL drops some science.
Special note: This post is inspired by the inventor of the original Ghetto Celeb Mathematics, Dallas Penn.
Being sick sucks.
In my wonderfully woeful world I spend a lot of time by myself, so when I am under the weather I’m pretty much fending for dolo. While spending a good 14 hours a day in bed and slowly rotting out my brain to random Xbox gaming sometimes helps, for the most part I struggle to retain a singlet of the creativity that powers the spot.
Things could be worse, I guess. I could be any one of these “rappers” facing anything from attempted murder charges, drug possession, or just being flat-out banned in certain cities. Rather than trying to decipher what goes on through these scuttle heads’ brains, I’ve tried to come up with a scientific solution, and thanks to the help of the acclaimed Dr. Penn, I’ve managed to break it down to a rapper’s genetic composition.
As humans we are all mixed in with everything from love to hate to rage to chicken, but it is usually two or three predominant combinations that compel us to do the things we do. After a little bit of researching, I’ve discovered the features that directly influence the trouble-making characteristics in four of your favorite rappers.
So without further adieu, I’d like to present visual evidence of these characteristics…
The drugged-out mischief of Curious George combined with the hyperactivity of Red Fraggle produces the sizzurp-induced semantics of Dwayne Carter. It’s quite easy to see that if Birdman – his Man In The Yellow Hat, if you will – had provided proper parenting outside of internal hugs, there might have been a chance that Mr. Carter would not have grown up to become the drug addled rapper he is today. Let’s continue…
The gun toting, idiotic tendencies of Elmer Fudd divided by the hot headed demeanor of Montana Max equals T.I. (or T.I.P. Or whatever he’s calling himself nowadays). You can’t entirely blame Clifford for wanting to buy super blammers. Just blame his genetics.
The money-hungry tactics of a tall Israeli multiplied with the smoothly addictive style of Joe Camel cigarettes produces Jay-Z. It’s no wonder why we keep buying his albums even though we know they’re crap.
The feline features of The Cowardly Lion over the sum of the natural beauty of the Grand Canyon yields the plastic surgery-mangled Lil Kim. This may be somewhat inaccurate, however, as the Grand Canyon is not entirely smoothed out.
As in JOHAN SANTANA
MLB World Series ’08 champs = New York Metropolitans.
You read that here first. Act like you know!