Archive for March, 2009

JESSICA RABBIT FTW!

Wednesday, March 11th, 2009

jessica

Jessica Rabbit >>> JESSICA BIEL x JESSICA SIMPSON + JESSICA ALBA and the square root of JESSICA LANGE.

You do the math…

Jessica Rabbit’s official measurements are 40-23-40.

That is what you should affectionately call a brick shithouse. Barbie might be 50yrs old, but she doesn’t have a hotdamn thing on Jessica Rabbit.

My whole Jessica Rabbit drop flew out of my head after I peeped this video from Royal who found this Woman’s History Month angel from the pr0n don a/k/a H8torade

UPDATE * UPDATE * UPDATE * UPDATE * UPDATE

Here’s a Women’s History Month bonus video from our good friends over at Random Thoughts for those of you that felt a little weird watching the little kids in the background of the previous clip.

Go Dru-Ha, It’s Ya’ Berfday!

Wednesday, March 11th, 2009

dru ha

Boot Camp Clik’s co-founder DRU HA is celebrating his birthday tonight at Club Sutra (10pm – 1st Street & 1st Ave). This should be a nice little underground jumpoff filled with Hip-Hop celebs and internets celebs.

Boot Camp Clik is another year older and still no worse for the wear and tear. How many other rap collectives can boast that track record since their inception? The correct answer is none.

My homey TERRENCE ELENTENY made this video during the ‘Return To The Classics’ show that Black Moon and Smif-N-Wessun performed at. TERRENCE’s video is fucking sharp as hell and I think he caught the essence of what Boot Camp Clik’s music means to the Hip-Hop movement.


A Tribute To The Classics from Terrence on Vimeo.

Tastes Just Like Chichen Itza…

Wednesday, March 11th, 2009

b heads

If you think you are having a problem holding your breakfast down then maybe you can imagine what kind of problem these dudes might be having.

Mexico is on some serious beheading shit. I thought it was only the arabs and the Indonesians who went in all crazy for the head chopping. The French had that whole guillotine movement a couple of hundred years ago but that was ceremonial. These fools in Mexico is dead ass serious.

I still plan on going to Cancun this summer though.

Did you know that there was so much money in moving drugs through Mexico? I need to ask my buddy from Tony’s Kansas City what the deal is with this. I would have thought that bringing drugs into America from South America was far more cost effective on airplanes and large shipping container vessels. How else do you flood an entire nation with narcotics unless you bring in kilotons of the shit. Maybe Mexico has the refineries and the processing plants? That cocoa leaf and poppy seed have to be processed somewhere don’t they?

In my mind, Del Monte or Kraftfoods has the factories that refine raw organic materials into narcotics for the American market. Who else has the facilities built to undertake this shit? Whenever I see an enterprise that generates a million billion trillion dollars I understand that white isn’t going to just let that operation lumber along. There is a global recession going down and if the drug trade wasn’t regulated previously (grow up people) it certainly is now. I don’t mean legislative regulation either. I mean that Warren G type regulation with guns, rocket launchers, tanks and planes type shit.

But on the real, the Mexicans need to stop fucking around with all this beheading shit. Just kill a motherfucker and keep it moving. Leave something for the wild dingoes in Mexico City.

The Last American Virgin…

Tuesday, March 10th, 2009

virgin stores

The immaculate consumption is coming to an end.

Don’t you folks feel a little nervous about the news that there won’t be any more virgin stores here in the U.S.?

The main reason the terrorists hate us is because we have virgin stores where we buy our virgins. People living in Arabia and other places usually have to undergo a horrific death in order to get to see some virgins.

We’ll be losing more than just a retail outlet when the virgins stores are shuttered later this year. We’ll be losing a place for virgins, as well as nerds, geeks, dweebs and freaks to commune in their all black gothic gear or their multi-colored skinny jeans.

Where will all the virgins with pierced lower lips and tattoo sleeves get together to listen to Kings Of Leon? BTW, copp that!

So much of our identity as Americans is wrapped up around our consumption of the things that entertain us. I’m lucky enough to live in an area where I can go to a huge library or museum or even an off-Broadway performance to satisfy my need to commune with others, but for those of you living in regions that are lacking the cultural communal options that I have you may just be forced to following the arabic method of getting yourself next to some virgins.

In America, the big box store is our temple of consume, our mosque to marketing, our church of cha-ching.

The mall is our cathedral to commerce.

Fuck you sons of BERNARD MADOFF for snitching on the golden calf.

Ain’t No Love In The Heart Of The City…

Tuesday, March 10th, 2009

heartbreak city

I have been pretty mopey as of late. I’m not feeling my life right now. I need to make a change. Or maybe I need to stop drinking so much Mountain Dew blue. I could be having the pitts from the dropoff when I’m not drinking my Mountain Dew. My weight isn’t really my problem though, my blood sugar is my demon.

Sometimes I dip into low blood sugar comas. Just very brief dopefiend nod offs. When I wake up after the few seconds of shut down my feet and hands hurt. This means that my blood isn’t moving through my body. What’s ironic is that I have always imagined that I woulds be a kick ass cyborg. We’ll see how that shakes out since I’m definitely gonna have to get some limbs amputated soon.

I’m gonna try to figure my shit out. In the meantime and in between time you can watch this faces of death type video that I made while traveling around NYC. I don’t know who dude was on the ground but he looked pretty much 5000. The cops were giving it their best though. Salute to those police that fought the good fight.

The god appeared to be on his way to work. He wasn’t looking like the homeless people that occupy the subways now on the regulack. I imagine he was on his way to work just like my dad was on his way to the 9-2-5 when he had his heart attack. The pain on his face was apparent too. This life sucks for working class poor people.


To Live And Die In NYC from dallas penn on Vimeo.